Night time water

Our bodies were shivering as the moon shined on us.
We held each other closely feeling our bodys shiver in sequence.
We was surrounded by water, out in the lake.
The thunder and rain chrashed around us and I felt your lips on mine.
The feelings we have for each other were so real and intense in that moment.
The memories and moments we are making now will be my ultimate favorite in the future to tell our children.

Reviews

[Dave]

I thought you had something going until the phrase :"The feelings we have for each other were so real, so intense."

My feeling is it should have ended there. Of course that is my opinion. Sometimes it's difficult to know when to stop.

Keep going - Dave