Michael's Requiem

The setting: A room full of darkness where a man alone with his guitar suddenly starts to sing. When he's done he wonders if the ghost has heard his requiem. A song for my brother, M.S.W.- 05-03-1982 - 01-01-06 "Blackbird, Fly."

Time means nothing

I never wear a watch

But I'll admit just one thing

I know I don't know very much.

Save that yesterday's gone forever

Tomorrow could be called the past

Because life is but a feeling

that I know will never last.

 

But don't cry 

That's just life.

 

When my grey eyes go dull

When the force within me fades

When my pulse begins to lull

finally I'll leave this masquerade.

 

But don't cry

Please don't cry

That's just life.

 

Send the funeral mourners home

each with a bottle of champagne

Let them celebrate my life

Celebrate the end of all my pain...

 

But don't cry

Don't cry

Please don't cry...

That's just life.

Author's Note

For Michael.

Reviews

[Susan S.]

I'm not a fan of rhyming poetry, but this does well in spite of that. The break between stanzas is especially effective. I did notice, though, that in the first stanza you sacrifice meter for visual impact. It's in the line, "I know I don't know very much." The correct meter would be without the word, "very".

I didn't notice the progression on the "chorus" until the third reading. It might be visually more noticeable if you put those lines together. I can't say it would have more impact, mind you, but people would notice the progression better.

On the whole, this is a poem I would consider successful.
Susan

[Jet Lag]

heartfelt. i'm no good at giving valid opinions on poetry. i do like this, especially the building "chorus."

[Lily1111]

What a beautiful, powerful, and heartfelt poem. An incredible tribute to your brother.

My favorite lines were:

Send the funeral mourners home
each with a bottle of champagne
Let them celebrate my life
Celebrate the end of all my pain...

The message conveyed is really quite important and beautifully conveyed.....Celebrate the life, don't grieve the death. I also loved the opening lines. It is good to know that at least one other person feels as I do, that time is irrelevant. "Time means nothing, I never wear a watch" Loved that. I don't even own a watch! Did you ever stop to think that the only really important time is "now", this very moment. Animals get along quite well without this concept of time. Like my dogs for example, the only time they know is time to chase a squirrel, time to eat, time to sleep. See you have me contemplating and I love when a poem does that! Great write!

[Rambling Prose]

A beautiful tribute & one to be proud of. I love your writing style.

Excellent...

[Emily B]

Seems like we may have walked some similar roads. You described my feelings in a perfectly peculiar way.

Blue skies forever.

[IMOGEAN]

Your rhyming was impeccable. I love wisdom poetry, and that Mr No One, is what you have created here. I could envision this as a song, written in lyrical form.

OMG ---I just read the intro to this piece, and it is a song. Beings that I pegged it as a song before I read the intro, you must have succeeded in what you set out to create. Great tribute to Michael, and I am sure he would agree, break open the Champaign and celebrate his going home. At the end of my days, that is what I want my family to do too.

Great stuff. Keep writing.

BTW: Beware, I always tell the truth in my reviews. I will say the good things when appropriate, but give my honest opinion if I think it is lacking.

IMO~

[Seriana]

What a beautiful piece. I'm not big on rhymed poems either, but this was very poignant. What a loving tribute. And I am not sure if you meant to reference Blackbird, Fly, as in truly the bird flying, or the song, but if you haven't heard that song (I think you probably have), go listen. When I read that in the intro, then read the poem, I could hear the song in my head playing as I was reading. It made it all the more meaningful.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

That is exactly right, ' that's just life'.. i read a poem by Lady Sphinx think it was called Fly, Blackbird Fly..
This is a nice poem for your brother, Michael. So sorry.. it is hard.
I enjoyed your writing..
Chloe
xoxo

[Rain]

Man,
I loved that piece, and what a beautiful tribute to your brother. Time don't stop, and it ain't nothing but life. So true. Rain..

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

This is a stunningly beautiful ode to your brother. I am all for that - send them home with a bottle of champagne and have them enjoy the life he led. Honor his memory. Thank you for sharing your depth.
Light,
Siddartha

[krissie]

i liked this. it really touched me.