My frostbite love

A chance encounter

I saw her just the other day. I was lost in her city. She looked exhausted and confused, but she still looked so damn pretty. I said, "I'm doing mighty fine."

    She said, "I can still tell when you're lying. And I  know you're lying. Even after all this time..."

    I said, "It's strange so many years haven't changed your face. Tragedies have come and gone without leaving a trace."

She said, "It takes a lot longer now to put on my makeup. And last night I told myself, I never want to wake up. But last night seems so long ago. Let's just hold hands here in the snow. And no one will ever need to know. No place has ever felt more like home. I don't care if the whole world explodes. Let's just hold hands here in the snow..."

Reviews

[Lucinda Bogart]

I like the mystery you plopped the reader into, like this is a scene in the middle of a story...a little teaser leaving the reader wanting more. I find myself wanting to know how the people got here, where were they before, what had they meant to each other, and where are they going now. Very effective, evocative little tease that's begging to tell its secrets.

[Kristin Brecoe]

ooh. what a beautiful conversation between the two people. i kind of wish it was formatted a bit differently[slightly more appealing to the eyes [what you have is fine though.], but that's something that is up to you.

-kristin

[Jillian]

I've read a few of your poems but this one is my favourite, by far. The idea of a chance encounter being able to throw you into good memories from the past, even for just an evening, is great.
The line "No place has ever felt more like home" is amazing; so vividly conveys the feeling of the poem.

[Tony]

Lots of things said in just a few words. By the time I got to.......Hold hands in the snow......I was engrossed. And those words put me in the city, on a curb, with the snow blowing around. This was a great read!

[None]

Your poem really awakened emotions in my heart and gave me such great visuals with your writing. Your title is most fitting. Every line is precious. I really like the part about the makeup, very good! haha.
"Let's just hold hands here in the snow..."
Great writing!!

[frogbean]

you are extremly good at conveying the message that you have. things are worded in a way that most could understand what is being said. you must have had true love hit you quite hard you write alot about love and it is portrayd well inthis poem. thank you for being good at putting the mesage across that love is out there and you will find it someday. you may think this is s**t but it is wat i got out of it and if you dont like it than im not sorry
haha im just kidding. over all i liked it