My frostbite love

A chance encounter

I saw her just the other day. I was lost in her city. She looked exhausted and confused, but she still looked so damn pretty. I said, "I'm doing mighty fine."

    She said, "I can still tell when you're lying. And I  know you're lying. Even after all this time..."

    I said, "It's strange so many years haven't changed your face. Tragedies have come and gone without leaving a trace."

She said, "It takes a lot longer now to put on my makeup. And last night I told myself, I never want to wake up. But last night seems so long ago. Let's just hold hands here in the snow. And no one will ever need to know. No place has ever felt more like home. I don't care if the whole world explodes. Let's just hold hands here in the snow..."

Reviews

[Lucinda Bogart]

I like the mystery you plopped the reader into, like this is a scene in the middle of a story...a little teaser leaving the reader wanting more. I find myself wanting to know how the people got here, where were they before, what had they meant to each other, and where are they going now. Very effective, evocative little tease that's begging to tell its secrets.

[Samith Pich]

There's a nice rhyme and rhythm in this poem, it'd make a nice song. I liked the way it started 'I saw her just the other day. I was lost in her city' - not sure about the repetition of needing to hold hands in the snow (is she that exhausted?). It's short, lyrical and as deep as you want to make it.

Thanks for sharing

Samith

[[untitled]]

So much said here, with so few words. Much like two people who have shared history and a common bond.

Whenever the heart feels home, that is where love resides.

This touched me. Probably, because I see myself in this piece.

Brava!

[Nicole Hellene]

Sometimes I wish holding hands were as easy as just saying "hey, let's, k?"

How you doing stranger? I've been off for a while. My bad.

[Tonya (the Night Writer..]

The set up is interesting--it's poetic and song-like but written out like prose. Tells a lot about the history of the characters in a brief snippet of their interaction. Very nicely done.

[Rambling Prose]

The 'he said' - 'she said' dialog worked out quite well in this write. Something I would have never imagined would work. A nice slow and steady progression & unforced rhyme, made for a most enjoyable read. Never have I found frostbite so beautiful to read...Just a silly play on your title, of course. Which by the way, is perfect!

I admire your style of writing ~ Nicely penned...

[Angel's Lady]

No place has ever felt more like home. - This is honestly true of love, isn't it? Very nicely written and very beautifully done. Great job!

[Rain]

I just read. If when I'm done I feel something..good..or bad. I like it. I liked this, alot. Although I find it weird saying my favorite writer is no-one. Rain..

[Emily B]

This reminds me of something I've read here recently. Two writers, maybe worlds apart, have captured the sadness of looking back over the brink of goodbye.

You've drawn this glimpse into 'where we are now' beautifully. Lost and found and goodbye and hello, if only for a moment, come to life in your words.

[Andrea A. Wentz]

So romantic. All who are still in love with ex's wish just such a thing to happen. I often wonder if it ever does.

The format was not typical of poetry, but it worked none the less. It even had the rhyme and rhythm.

Overall very nice piece, full of hope and longing. Much enjoyed. :)

[Ronda]

I love this! I could totally see a 1940's detective voice over for this. There was a bit of mystery and romance. I love the line, "I was lost in her city." So many meanings in that one line. Great work!