Sentimental Thief

A serenade for a corpse

I burned your photograph last night in the fireplace.

I watched the fingers of the flame curl around your face.

Inhaled the smoke and found it smelled so bittersweet

like all those funeral flowers you used to bring to me.

Knives in my eyes, I need to sleep.

Already counted all the sheep

I closed the blinds, got no relief.

I'm such a sentimental thief...

You threw the albums out, ones you said I could keep,

because they remind you of nights you drank and danced with me.

Your suitcases are full of clothes just waiting to go somewhere

But you look so peaceful there, slumped in your favorite chair.

Knives in my eyes, I need to sleep.

Already slaughtered all the sheep.

I slammed the door, got no relief.

I'm such a sentimental thief.

So will you hear me out? We have so much time now.

I'll tell you everything and we can laugh about

this little accident. 'Twas never meant to be.

I hope you wake up soon. I hope you never ever leave.

Knives in my eyes, I need to sleep.

But I can still hear your heart beat.

I listen closely; will it repeat?.

I'm such a sentimental thief.

Reviews

[Annebelle Ashire]

This write reminds me of Poe's poem "The Tell-Tale Heart"
especially at the very end here,

""Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! --tear up the planks! here, here! --It is the beating of his hideous heart!""

A smooth intriguing write.

I liked it very much, aside from it being just a tad disturbing,
but that is what makes any write so interesting isn't it? that thrill you don't exactly
want to expect.
That's also what I love about Poe's write - it gives me chills every time I read it,
I love every word.

Thanks for sharing.

~*AC*~

[Niko Azazel]

i like this. it flows well and ur "voice" is very much heard. the first lines set the tone up right from the start. i love this

[Celtic Cat]

This is marvelously twisted and wonderful!!!! I love this piece so much!!! It brought me where I never would have guessed. You are quite the genius, aren't you?? An excellent write....so great. The lead up was perfect, the ending sublime. Very, very good! This goes into my favorites for sure!

[Lily1111]

I truly enjoyed reading this poem. I like the way you write, your "voice".

The opening lines:

"I burned your photograph last night in the fireplace.
I watched the fingers of the flame curl around your face."

Really set the tone so well for the rest of the poem. I think we have all done that. Burned photographs. I wonder what we are trying to do, burn the memories too perhaps?

I thought the repeating line,

"I'm such a sentimental thief..." was so effective.

You breathe life into your poems with lines like:

"Your suitcases are full of clothes just waiting to go somewhere", and I think that is magnificent.

That is so vivid. Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem, it was truly enjoyed.

[Marc Lerry M. Tejada]

i love story, i love rhyme. not so flashy with the words but surely pins it in your mind, so amazing, so creative.
i believe that a writer writes himself. You have great talent of speaking your self creatively.
nice work.

[she makes me weird]

I like the flow. Great write. I can picture this as a short silent film.

[Dave Lounsbury]

I could see this becoming lyrics.

[Rambling Prose]

Beautifully written poem! I love the flow, as is usual when I read your work. I absolutely love how you counted sheep then slaughtered sheep, nice progressive flow. The imagery you crated with 'knives in your eyes' - 'fingers of flame curl around our face' and so on...

Excellent piece of work!

[Angel's Lady]

I absolutely adore this! Going in my Favorites for sure! Thank you for writing this and sharing it with the world. Great job! Fast-paced flow, dynamic in texture, rich in color, paints an exact picture of what I'm supposed to see. I love it!

[O!]

also nothing what i expected...and that i love!

u write a poem like a storyteller!....i saw it like a chapter of a story in rhyme.

Knives in my eyes, I need to sleep.
Already slaughtered all the sheep.

i really like those two lines, especially cause u added the slaughtered sheep there, very good idea.

Thank you for reading my silly write otherwise id never have gotten to read this very creative piece of urs.

x,
O!

[Touché Armada]

Ta to Em the send queen =)

Lyrical, this is really quite lyrical.
"Funeral flowers" was kind of good in the way you used it. The thought of their lack of permanence. Perhaps whiole rose bushes would be better and then spending the time together in a garden planting them and making something beautiful and more permanent.. Oh I'm such a pathetic idealist.
Great write.