Apathy Within Anorexia ~

Dear Jesus Christ I can't even stop crying. This is my anorexia story.

I didn't ever eat today.

I just hid on my bed. 

I ignored the pain in my stomach.

And I looked at what's ahead

 

There's a wall between me and food.

I remember what they used to say.

And it burns like a hot iron,

at the end of the day.

 

I told them that I wasn't hungry.

I can't believe they believed me.

And when I look in the mirror,

I feel free.

 

I have a feeling the scale is broken.

because it says one thing

and the mirror

says another.

 

I don't remember the day

I chose not to eat.

All I remember is feeling

so weak.

 

But the weakness fades

when you feel beautiful.

But the beauty only lasts for so long.

Before everything starts to go wrong.

 

I'm thankful that no one notices.

"I ate already."

"I'm not really hungry."

"I had a huge snack at Grandma's."

or just the simple

"I'll eat later."

 

Later never comes.

And the day escapes away.

And I sleep on an empty

stomach.

As I wither away.

 

 

Author's Note

This is specifically for everyone who is dealing with anorexia. You aren't alone. I'm anorexic too < 3
And I'm here if you want to talk about it. Message me, day or night. I will not tell a soul the things you tell me. Even if you're my absolute enemy, if you need to talk, I'm gonna listen, I'm gonna help you.

I'll help a complete stranger, because no one should face this alone < 3

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I tell people. Want to lose weight. Eat right and drink water. Stay away from coffee and pop. Water allow the body to function and clean the body. Being active is very important. Starvation don't help anyone. You will be sick and be forced fed. When I worked out years ago. A cup of orange juice with straight protein before bed. Eat the face cells. A powerful poem. Anorexia is a mind sickness. A lot of good way to be healthy and fit. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem. A lot of natural cure helpers on the internet for people concern with weight.
Coyote

[Tai Ryens]

Dealing with this has made you stronger, in a way. Had you not been brave, had you not been confident, had you plainly not been strong, you would never have wrote this. I myself could not do such a thing; to post a life story of mine to the public. This is beautiful, and so are you.

[InTheLandOfGodsAndMonst..]

Really good, and deep!

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Wow. This is really deep and emotional. I hope that by writing this, it made you feel at least a tiny bit better, but I don't know if that's the case :/ anorexia is a terribly difficult thing to go through. I hope that you can get better, and I hope that you'll at least try to get better. I know we've never really talked, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I love making friends (: this is a beautiful poem you have here. Beautifully deep, beautifully powerful.. Great write, Alix, and good luck.

[That_Girl]

You're absolutely gorgeous inside and out, and I don't say that often cause not many people are. Wonderfully penned, Maddie. xoxo

[A. V. Madison]

Thank you, Avy. xoxo much love.

[Time's The Bond]

Whenever somebody says those things to me.. I automatically shove food down their throat I'm not kidding I seriously do that! I don't care if you were starving or full to begin with.

Because only weak people do that. If you really wanted it you definitely would not starve yourself

[A. V. Madison]

I have coped with the thought that I am a weak person. I'm trying very hard to eat more. Thank you for the review, Wickedly Kind, and for reading this.

[Time's The Bond]

That isn't good, I know it is commonly said, and said so often it probably holds no meaning anymore but you seriously really are beautiful the way you are and no guy falls for the inside then the outside then it won't end well. If people stopped wearing caked makeup and making them looking like somebody so, so different. Guys would fall for the inside instead of the outside.

Please do not, do this to yourself it will not end well.

[kublakhan27]

Heart-wrenchingly vivid...I hope you were able to derive a least a bit of therapy in writing it...

[A. V. Madison]

Indeed. Thank you for the review.

[kublakhan27]

No problem^^

[C.C. Marx]

That just hit me like a fist to the stomach. I went through a time when I starved myself, counting each and every last calorie. It's hard not to want to be skinny, but the truth is, what i was doing to myself would only hurt me in the long run. I won't tell you that it was easy quitting that, because it wasn't, and there are days I find myself doing it all over again. Nicely written.

[A. V. Madison]

Thank you for sharing your story, C. It means a lot. And thank you for reviewing and reading also.

[C.C. Marx]

It is absolutely my pleasure, stay strong!!

[Lina Grey]

oiii, you gotta try hun. It's awful that no one notices, but you can't just wither away like that. Please try to eat things and get better, okay doll? We're all here for you.

[A. V. Madison]

Thanks, Lina. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

Powerful and close to home. My x wife had an eating disorder

[A. V. Madison]

Thank you. And yeah, I never told you how sorry I am for your divorce. But thank you for the review.