Who I Am.

1. I struggle in a lot of classes.

2. My handwriting is really sloppy.

3. I am constantly looking for new, alternative bands so I seem cool. 

4. I have starved myself. 

5. I am very uncomfortable around men. 

6. I really want a spontaneous life. 

7. When I get mad, I scream into my pillow. 

8. I fear dumb things like aliens, spiders, allies, trees at night, and blood. 

9. I daydream about outrageous things. 

10. I berate myself about my appearance too much. 

11. I am afraid of nudity of any kind. 

12. Pianos make my heart race. 

13. I get really shy sometimes. 

14. I don't like to be in a large crowd. 

15. I am scared of eating lunch alone. 

16. As of the day this was written, I have cut more than 100 times. 

17. I can't get out of my own head. 

18. I force myself into depression sometimes. 

19. I am more insecure than anyone knows. 

20. I love sharks because they have the confidence that I don't.

21. I really want a baggy t-shirt with a cute design on it. 

22. I grew up way too fast. 

23. I like Taylor Swift and Sleeping With Sirens. 

24. My fear of rejection has ruined many opportunities.

25. I have panic attacks frequently. 

26. The idea of being on a boat out in the middle of the sea frightens me a lot. 

27. I like my Subway sandwiches a certain way and I fear trying new ones. 

28. I act weird when I'm alone. 

29. I am generous and selfish at the same time. 

30. My taste in music if very odd. 

31. I question my psychological health a lot. 

32. I am both normal and extraordinary at the same time. 

33. I pick the worst role models. 

34. I sing Les Miserables songs... in public.

35. I shake my hands violently when I want to forget a feeling. 

36. Happiness, as far as I'm concerned, is everything.

37. I have bad anxiety. 

38. I fear my parents going through my room and my phone. 

39. I feel very lost and stupid in math class. 

40. I am scared to ask questions. 

41. I have paranoia disorder. 

42. I hope to be a teacher someday. 

45. If I have a child someday, and it's a boy, I'll name him Hayden. If it's a girl, I'll name her Elaine, Naomi, Ireland, or Camille. 

46. When I have panic attacks, I am literally unable to feel any pain. I could burn to death and not feel a thing. Morbidly, I use these times to self-harm. 

47. I have never been kissed before. 

48. I like to be alone sometimes. 

49. I want to get all my friends together someday, and just drive without any destination. 

50. I'm a very complicated person.

Reviews

[beautiful dreamer]

maddie you sound like me! cept the self harm...im a wimp. but i have jumped off my roof it was the damndest thing i didnt get a scratch on me i rolled down the hill got up and went back inside. my parents never knew

[Winchester Saltgunner]

Very deep kinda playful also on a level

[screw this.]

You've never been kissed before? o_o
BUT BUT I THOUGHT YOU HAVE
Well then
We'll be cat ladies.
Cats.
cATs..
i love kitties ^-^

[A. V. Madison]

Only on the neck and cheek, actually. Funny isn't it? lol

[A. V. Madison]

Oh I don't count those kisses.

[screw this.]

Oh..

[Karl Woof Junior]

best thing ive read ever!!!

[screw this.]

XD Why? XD

[Karl Woof Junior]

there is nothing phony here even if it was fiction