Apathy Within Anorexia ~

Dear Jesus Christ I can't even stop crying. This is my anorexia story.

I didn't ever eat today.

I just hid on my bed. 

I ignored the pain in my stomach.

And I looked at what's ahead

 

There's a wall between me and food.

I remember what they used to say.

And it burns like a hot iron,

at the end of the day.

 

I told them that I wasn't hungry.

I can't believe they believed me.

And when I look in the mirror,

I feel free.

 

I have a feeling the scale is broken.

because it says one thing

and the mirror

says another.

 

I don't remember the day

I chose not to eat.

All I remember is feeling

so weak.

 

But the weakness fades

when you feel beautiful.

But the beauty only lasts for so long.

Before everything starts to go wrong.

 

I'm thankful that no one notices.

"I ate already."

"I'm not really hungry."

"I had a huge snack at Grandma's."

or just the simple

"I'll eat later."

 

Later never comes.

And the day escapes away.

And I sleep on an empty

stomach.

As I wither away.

 

 

Author's Note

This is specifically for everyone who is dealing with anorexia. You aren't alone. I'm anorexic too < 3
And I'm here if you want to talk about it. Message me, day or night. I will not tell a soul the things you tell me. Even if you're my absolute enemy, if you need to talk, I'm gonna listen, I'm gonna help you.

I'll help a complete stranger, because no one should face this alone < 3

Reviews

[Alex Crow]

Very emotional, well written and yet so saddening.

[Maria M]

Reading this I can feel the pain you are going through. I wish you all the luck in the world in beating this disease. God bless.

[Westminster Abbey]

I like this. Reminds me of a song by Superchick, though I forget the name. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck as you're going through this!

[Forever Hidden]

Lol, the song is called Courage
I never thought you'd forget XP

[A. V. Madison]

COURAGE BY SUPERCHICK!!!!!! ALSO KNOWN AS MY FAVORITE SONG!!!

[Westminster Abbey]

THANK YOU for reminding me! I haven't heard that song in forever... Well, off to listen to it! :)

[Forever Hidden]

OMG YES BEST SONG EVER

[Jordan's Back]

I used to be anorexic, I got help after I became a 6 foot 85lbs waste on life support. I still battle it at times, but Remember you can fight and you can win it, Anything can be survived. I am living proof. Your invitation is very sincere and sweet. Too bad it doesn't extend to everyone.

[Dream Mistress]

:)

[A. V. Madison]

?

[Dream Mistress]

is is said, and I liked it

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

Wow, this is extremely sad and emotional. Hope everything goes well :(

[A. V. Madison]

Thank you, Mr. Diller.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Very emotional and well written.

[A. V. Madison]

THERE YOU ARE! We missed you < 3 and thank you for the review.

[Brittany Zedalis]

I was busy for the past few days, haha. My classes start up soon and I've been taking advantage of being lazy.

[quinfinn]

sorry to burst your bubble here, but your life does have a meter and if you keep depriving yourself of nourishment the meter will run out....get help. if this is not a real issue for you, it is a damned convincing write, well done!

[A. V. Madison]

I do in fact eat, I am just underweight, and my doctor did diagnose me with anorexia nervosa. I'm on a long, long road to recovery, but I have my head held high. Thank you for the review.

[quinfinn]

i am happy to know you will get well!!!!!

[A. V. Madison]

Thank you, Mr. Quin.

[quinfinn]

always here for you

[Geon Quuin]

I feel no apathy nor empathy towards anorexics. If they think that their appearance matters more than what is inside them, then they are better off dead--is what I would like to say. It's a medically recognized disorder and there have been studies on how to control one's habits. People who are too self-conscious are idiots who doesn't deserve to live. They should give themselves in the hands of the malevolent Marshmallow. Long Live and prosper.

[A. V. Madison]

Thank you dearly for your input Mr. Quuin, but my anorexia is triggered by my brain damage and the emotional scars of abuse when I was eight. It is not that I want to lose weight, but the fact of physically being unable to eat. Thank you for you input, and for the review. Blessings.

[sithlordjp]

thank you for sharing such an emotional piece. Someone close to me is battling anorexia so I was very touched by your words. Not easy writing about this subject, you were able to do it in a most interesting way, well done.