Waiting

It hasn’t been long. Maybe just a few hours, Of course it felt like a lifetime, waiting for the white coated dressed man to walk through the double doors that only seem to open one way. Sitting here agonizing over every little detail of why I’m here, while a dozen others sit somewhat quietly doing the same. Occasionally, someone tries to break the silence with small talk about the weather or some other topic no one really cares about, only to find that the people here want to sit in silence. There’s something about a group of people being silent that’s calming, as if it reassures me that even though the world is a loud obnoxious place people can be quiet and calm if they really wanted to. The only thing that seems to really break that silence is the ticking of my wrist watch.

Coming up on 5 hours, my heart seems to be pounding louder and louder as I listen to the endless ticking. My hands begin to sweat, and an entire field of cotton seems to be growing within my mouth. I look up from my phone playing a rather annoying game to see the white coated man burst through those double doors that have swallowed so many people. His face is a stone. It doesn’t matter what he says; I’ve seen him talk to families and watch them light up with happiness but then talk to couples whose faces were filled with dread while typhoons pour from their eyes. Still, he always has the same expression: Never yielding, Never showing emotion. What it must be like to have to have that kind of composure. Surely it can’t be easy.

The man slowly approaches, for every step closer he gets the harder my heart pounds, the sweatier my hands get, and the more I shake in anticipation. What is he going to tell me? Some good news, I hope. I beg. Finally the words coming flowing out of his mouth wasting no time to get to the point.
“You’re dead,” He says.

Shocked and confused I look around. What was once a crowded room has now turned into empty darkness where Everyone has disappeared. It is just me and the white coated man. “We have looked over your life, and decided you are not ready for your eternity. You will not enter those doors today.” I don’t know what to say, I didn’t even know I had died much less that I was in front of the doors to some “eternity” and being denied.
Suddenly it came back: a flood of unwanted memories. The feeling of my organs pushing to my throat. Hearing the screaming and yelling of everyone around me. The touch of a strange man sitting next to me, squeezing my hand while praying to see his wife and kids again. I quickly reached and grasped for the yellow cone in front of me and pull it to my face, breathing in as hard as I can. At the same time I hear a voice traveling throughout the cabin telling everyone we are headed for sea. We managed to drop 30,000 feet in a matter of minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. Then blackness.
I look into the blank eyes of this man in front of me. My heart stops pounding and instead I feel like I can pick it up straight from the floor. Trying to gain my composure and fighting my cotton filled mouth, I stumble to ask the only two words that I can manage to choke out.
“H-hell then?” He stares for quite some time before he answers. “Hell is simply the life you thought was real. A very abstract concept. Your idea of hell does not exist, instead you simply live outside of your ‘eternity’. So, no, we don’t sentence anyone to Hell. We merely accept those who are worthy and ready for their ‘eternity’. Otherwise you are brought back to where you came from.”
Wait so does that mean I can go back home? I seem to be feeling so many conflicting emotions. I’m happy Hell doesn’t exist but what is my “eternity”?
I thought eternity was merely a statement that meant never ending? “Will ever get to my eternity?” I manage to ask the man. He simply shrugged and stated that some have spent 1000s of years dying and never being worthy. That It is all up to the person. So What does this mean for me? Will I go back to my old body that’s probably floating miles under the freezing Atlantic? What about my family, will I ever see them
again? Before I could get a chance to ask he disappeared and darkness was all that remained.

Suddenly a small light begins to appear. It seems to be all that there is and I begin to have this uncontrollable need to get to it, so I reach but can’t move. It’s almost as if I don’t have full control over my extremities, I seem to just be kicking and swinging my arms and feet in all directions. Am I even on solid ground? Suddenly a pressure begins to envelop my head, as the pressure begins to increase the light begins to get brighter, such a blinding light must be what’s causing this pressure. It feels like it’s going to explode. I try to scream but nothing comes out. What is happening, I can’t even think straight or keep my thoughts together anymore. Where was I before this? Is this all I’ve ever known? Then blinding light, finally I’m able to take a deep breath and scream, only now I can’t stop screaming. Yelling and yelling. Scream after scream. For every scream I make I lose all consciousness of why I’m screaming in the first place. I don’t even know where I am. I finally quiet down feeling a warmth I’ve never known before wrap around me. I look up as she looks down on me.
“My beautiful baby boy.” She says. And just like that I remember nothing else but her.

-Christopher Waltz

Author's Note

Besides grammar errors all honest feedback would be great!