Summer Thrill.

1st June.  

Sumer of 2012, It was short but wonderful. It felt special, but not because of something else but because this one, person. Her name was Linnea Karlsson from Sweden. She was kind, charming, fascinating, magnificent.. words would never describe her. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. We used to spend a lot of time together, in the beginning - everything was so simple and so sweet. Things got more touching, we started making foolish and miserable recordings over an old site. After that, we started talking in Skype, going on the camera a few times a week as well. It felt good, It felt warm. Colors of beauty were always shining, always made me happier then I could be.  

 

She was the biggest horror movie fan ever on earth. Funny because if there was something that I fear the most is horror movies. Some people have fear from spiders, heights, clowns, even Dracula. Well mine is, horror movies. She wanted to watch a horror movie with me and in the beginning, I felt like - no, no, no, just not that. Afterwards, I thought I should finally man up and face it. She used to say - "I'm also afraid but it somehow helps me face my fears ". However, we watched the movie and It was scary, stressing and breathtaking. We said each other, good night and both went to bed after it. I could not sleep at all. I was so frustrated and so scared, so worried from the unknown. I used to wait until five AM just so sun can appear and finally, I would feel safe. I had to go through this twice, and when we decided to watch another movie. I was full of fear and covering myself the blankets did not really help!  

 

Eventually we got closer we started to keep Skype running meanwhile heading to bed. We decided to watch a horror movie again, my first reaction was, *sighs *. I told myself - do not worry, you must fight these fears, you must man-up and clench your teeth! The movie was terrible, It had disgusting scenes which maybe are still flashing in my head rapidly. When the movie finished, there was a short pause among us, for maybe like a minute. This was the usual time that we used to say goodnight, but this time, things went different. We continued talking and eventually, I fell asleep. For the first time in my life, the fear of the unknown disappeared only with the presence of her soft voice. I fell asleep and every night I used to be scared from these moments, with her presence - It all fades away.  

 

Unfortunately, the summer ended and we both were busy with our studies. We barely had time to talk each other, she started to somehow unlike me and that special feeling quickly faded away. I felt lonely, I felt scared. Perhaps, these scary moments continued to flash in my mind over and over, again. We decided that it's best for us to end this and if faith has It's plan for us to be together, then we will. I have not watched any horror movie ever since the day it all ended, not because of something else but because I did not felt safe like before, I felt scared again. It passed a month since we have not talked and there is not even a day that I have not thought of her wonderful voice that rapidly continues to ring in my ears. I wish she knew that, but I am not sure if she longer thinks that I exist. It was the best summer of my entire life. Lately, I feel scared again. She helped me face my fears but somewhere on the road, she left me. It took me a while to realize, ever since we decided to split up, when I was scared, full of fears. I had fear of one main and general thing. It's not horror movies, It's fear from never hearing her voice again.

 

I attempt to hold my sanity, but suddenly vanity overtakes everything positive that is left, I miss her and it brought me to insanity. 

-Chris.