Delicate Heaven

the fewtch

What should I have

for supper?

he wondered aloud to everything

under the glass.

Ponied, sweated, glassed

like a wet tennis ball.

Gimme the rice

the sweet

and sour

pork.

He loves the pork

he says and asks

for the woman

behind the counter

to try and cram a few

more pieces into the small

container, the smallest

container there is.

I like the chicken, she says.

he says something like

i love you girls when you

and i missed the rest,

considering the sandwich

meat.

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

Those small moments in each can contain so much humanity and relation. Nicely done:)

[B. C. Carlson]

I may be way off, but I read a feminist interpretation into this poem. It feels to me like the male speaker is seeing the woman serving him food in a similar light as to the way he sees the food under the glass ("I love you girls when you...") - it feels like there is a condescending tone here. The narrator, however, seems to be dismissing his comments (probably alongside the server too). Cheers! :)

[The Twin Arenas]

That was part of it. I wanted to paint a little with fragility, too. All the meat and cheese under glass.

[emmajoy]

Seems both heaven and hell in this... small pocket, large hunger perhaps? Seems an ongoing thought process hidden behind a few extras thrown into not only the container but real life.. perhaps?

An observant look at watching others find THEIR way by watching the all-time server of favours and flavours combined, perhaps?

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Sounds like
the heaven of
food..

This was interesting
And different.

The sweet and
sour pork sounds
Yummy 😋

Nice piece

[B]

The satire in here is alarming

Is there such a thing as a delicate heaven..... one wonders

Edgy piece

[Gerald Parker]

I like the way we are allowed to know what the man thinks by having him "wondering aloud', otherwise I would not have carried on reading. I'm confused by "when you and i missed the rest" because I'm not sure whether it's what he says or what we in the queue think. Maybe it's a punctuation issue. Either I think 'miss' would be in keeping with the present tense of 'says.' Or 'and' instead of 'when.' An nice little scene of the poem.

[lizardbrain]

reading this poem in a disjointed manner matched the current jumpiness inside my brain which was actually a bit soothing, the grumbling of my stomach almost interrupted my ability to finish this comment, somewhat like that person in the last stanza there. enjoyed this :)