Drive

the fewtch

It is enough
to take 

freshly fallen

leave

What will
jar bones.

buds blossom out
and away

out and away

out and away under
my toque
and all the space
between the sound
and the drum
thin like a bulrush,
my fingers frozen,
won't f**k with

Reviews

[Alessander]

I like how bare it is. No fluff or sentimental drivel.

It opens up almost like a haiku

Places the reader out in nature

but then in the second part it switches gear

Something about space drums fingers

Like the line 'between the sound and the drum'

Kinda reminds me of a Wallace Stevens snow poem.

[anon_poet]

Beautifully written. I truly enjoyed reading this poem starting from the first line or the last. Regardless from where I began to read this piece it all made sense one way or another. Bravo!

[The Twin Arenas]

Thanks. I'm glad you started with this one. I feel it has a lot in common with some of your work. I'm not usually this sparse, I don't think. It's not even something I aim for, necessarily. I think I wrote it when everything was at its most bare.

[Eilis]

I respect the arm’s length approach of your style. There’s a vastness in this type of writing that operates well for reader and writer. There’s a cushion. I appreciate the craft. And though I won’t claim to get it in a tight sense, I get a sense of things and sometimes that is all I need. The linguistic edge is exciting. And your use of repetition in such an economic piece is deft. Enjoyed the reading.

[The Twin Arenas]

I appreciate this review. There's a baseball expression that speaks of a pitcher painting the corners. It's something I've always tried to achieve in my work.

[Wesley Dingler]

I agree with Aless here, I love how it isn't fluffed, I also like free-verse poetry a lot. It is raw and real thought. I love "all the space between the sound and the drum." I wish I had thought of that.
Thank you for sharing your voice, my friend.

[The Twin Arenas]

Thanks, Wesley. I don't hate this one.

[Wesley Dingler]

My honor. Keep sharing your slant mind with us.

[Lyn Anderson]

it doesn't seem angry, it seems more melancholy, until its abrupt end.

[charlie]

yeah, like someone's fed up and leaving

[charlie]

minimal and spare, it strikes like a sharp note between the bars.

[Olivia]

I really enjoyed this... lovely work.. :)

[Ruth]

I love the starkness of this poem, befits winter very well in my opinion. The starkness says so much and yet so little, superb :) Like a wintered tree, bare and yet so wise.

[Faiza Iqbal]

"Thin like a bulrush,
my fingers frozen,
won't f**k with"
Beautiful lady lines. Enjoying reading the piece.
Keep up the good work!🙂

[KWP]

to visualise the space between the sound and the drum was enough to satisfy me in this read :D now I am visualising frozen fingers cracking off in the harsh winter (I don't know too much about harsh winter's being for Sydney and all)

nice to see you X