such depth in ten words, i interpret this as a journey, interrupted by a traffic light. As you sit watching cars pass, remembering what was, before the light turns to yellow and you just continue driving, leaving the past behind, a second take, the past and the future controlled by the colour yellow
I dunno but turning on yellow definitely remindes me of the yellow fog lights...so maybe you mean searching for someone or something through the fog in this metaphor...or perhaps it could be someone trying to make sense of a foggy idea or it could be someone making their presence known with the fog lights...
Take two..like take 2 of a movie set or something...shifting the view from the fog lights entirely for the second take...or maybe you mean take two as in the cooking shows' take two eggs, and some flour....here you're taking two people and you're about to tell what happens to them in the next lines
Watching cars...such an idle pastime..remindes me of "the women come and go, talking of michelangelo" from Eliot's Prufrock...like time is just slogging on as they watch cars...(nod to those fog lights again)
It's creative how you don't say "old broken love"...you want broke not broken...so the love's of a poor sort, maybe a re- infatuation with a past lover, just a memory of a romance or a half hearted affair...either ways the idea of it seems half formed...and perhaps the protagonist is trying to make sense of this idea with his foglights... :)
Thanks for this read. I put a lotta thought into this little nick, and it's nice to see it explored... read moreThanks for this read. I put a lotta thought into this little nick, and it's nice to see it explored. The "take two" line has many meanings, all of which work in the context, to me, anyway. Really appreciate what you've done with it.
Few words, vivid images - my favourite kind of poetry. It's so mysterious and leaves so much space for the reader to make it their own, in a way. I'm getting those indie film vibes. Two people in love, who cannot afford to love. Does this even make any sense? Loved it.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Read aloud, people hear "take to watching cars" which ain't no slip.