Bank Leaves Left River

the fewtch

You there!
Stop building!

The material we
were given to work
with is glistening with madness.

It's going to take years
for anything resembling
a structure to exist here,
but for this they take what
we need to eat 'dogs?

There is less because
we take too long to build!

THERE IS LESS BECAUSE WE TAKE TOO LONG TO BUILD!?

(sound of horses stamping, water lapping, typing and gaffling)

The reason nobody has
built anything is that
the material is insane.

Oven light.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i take this as building poems...but what we have to work with is just insane themes because of all the chaos in the world today...how do we build poems from that?

and what are we taking too long to build...maybe a sturdier society...built on peace and not glistening with madness...
although i might have ended it with the next to last line...."Oven light" seems a bit out of left field, but then that probably is just me...and i am out in left field, not really getting a connection of or to that line.

i really like this piece...and the line in parentheses is excellent.

jacob

[The Twin Arenas]

thanks, jacob. oven is a powerful word, and I like the way it's diminished by the word "light." I thought it was a good way to end the piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and like i said....just thoughts, and maybe i am out in left field.
now that you told me what you did, i can see that.

[The Twin Arenas]

fair question, though. pretty weird. just tryin' to be a smart guy.

[Cheyenne Williams]

Good lord. Reading this makes me realize my spot hardly above mediocre and slightly west of adequacy. I have so much more to learn! Your work is definitely engaging. Love it!

[The Twin Arenas]

No way! You can really write! Like, your story makes SENSE. That's pretty important. And it's good and everything. Also important. Thanks for the read. I don't know how I feel about this thing. Kinda windy and muddy.

[Cheyenne Williams]

I don't know about windy and muddy. Maybe fresh and complex instead.

[The Twin Arenas]

I suppose wind and mud can be like that. Jury's out on it.