World Series Game #3

painted pones

Life is a carnival
and inside of that carnival
there's a ride and
life is that ride.

Boys pick the ones
with Indian feathers
because to be a man
is to master this land.

Girls pick pink ones
because to be a woman
is to be mastered by
the captains, I suppose.
*advertising*

There is nothing what will
catch you when you fall
off the back of your painted pony.

There is nothing what will
catch you when you fall
off the back of your painted pony.

If you fall off the back
of your painted pony
I will step out my soft blue
shoe and your head can hit there
instead of the polished wood,
where it would smash into billions
of red trails and structure,
running to the edge of the spinning deck
to leave the carousel and die in the carnival.

Do not f**k around too long
diving in and out
of your popcorn change
because she wants to ride now.

Reviews

[Meraki]

I was never fond of the color pink. I didn't mind it but I didn't like it either. I liked to pretend I was Pocahontas moving fast as the wind to save John Smith or Joan of Arc riding gallantly into war. Sometimes I was a mermaid being pulled along by my seahorse to a secret underwater glade.. Sounds silly now but I haven't changed much since then.

There is nothing what will
catch you when you fall
off the back of your painted pony

I really love this. It brings a bit of harsh reality to the mix. The fact that it was repeated seemed as if it were more to convince yourself than anyone. Then the offer of the soft blue shoe, it made me giggle but it's a sincere gesture. And I'm speaking as if this is all literal. Anyways I love this poem the imagery was especially great.

[Crusty Pizza Stain]

Life is a carnival--believe it or not
Life is a carnival--two bits a shot

[Rene Salinas]

And the seasons they go round and round and the painted ponies go up and down. But see the thing with that image is that the post which holds the pony to the wheel is deterministic pure and simple. After that the association that the Pony has no idea that he is going round as it looks pretty dead from what I remember and if that wasn't bad enough. He gets to only see strip films of its own life as every time it pays attention the wheel turns and he sees something different every time. Stop the wheel maybe? That won't do... But maybe if it tries to be more aware then the strip film quality could gain fluidity.

As ussual Waconda : "Riddle me this or riddle me that who is afraid of the big black ..."

Thankyou

[Baby Ricochet]

Ride the painted pony let the spinning wheel spin. I think that's how it goes

[Matching Socks]

There's some good lessons in there.
Cheers!

[Laura Lynn]

I like it, though I do not know who the people were/are, it's nice to have a person's mind contemplate life in this way, with such definition, I can feel the emotion behind the lines

[The Twin Arenas]

could be anyone, I think.

[Gummy.G]

Holy s**t.
The imagery is no joke here.
The repetition is perfect.
"There is nothing that will catch you when you fall of the back of your pony."
The way you describe and blend your words, matching and solidifying every stanza.
This is powerful, heart wrenching, sicking, and soothing.
FANTASTIC WORK.

[The Twin Arenas]

thanks a lot.