Borderland

in between it fades.

13 year old Mexican boy

walking home in the morning

from nowhere

yellow shirt

with a picture of a dog wearing

a pirate's hat

used.

Don't look at young men

and their women slowly

motoring by.

Don't look down her shirt

not even on accident.

The young man is bald

and mustachioed

and wearing a white t-shirt.

The Mexican boy knew

he'd be shot before he was

right in his a*s.

He ran through some

yards and surprised an old man

gardening, who smiled and

teased him with the hose.

Another fence

to a home without

a garden.

Down the street

the car had turned 'round.

"Can I hide here?"

A little red hand.

"Somebody shot me in the bum."

He was hustled into

a closet that smelled of floor polish

and newspaper ink.

He could hear the man

who'd shot him outside

knocking at the screen door.

"I need to look in your house."

A baby pawed at the closet

and it opened

and the young Mexican boy stood there

and the whole house could see him

but he wasn't seen.

Reviews

[ZackOfBridge]

Great Poem, and due to my desperation to fit in, I also think you could make a story from this. The story would be great so long as you retained the energy and motion that was in the poem.

[The Twin Arenas]

Yeah, I think so too. I'm going to try some stories in a bit, I think. Thanks for the read, man. I'll get to yours soon.

[Limitality]

I'm definitely agreeing with the other reviews, you could turn this into a wicked story. This piece was eerie and full of emotion. I enjoyed every last bit of it!

[Baby Ricochet]

Good story type poem. Kudos

[Ghost]

Yeah i agree with the others, would make a kick a*s story

[Ruth]

This is intelligently written...a social poem in some rights, in others, emotionally stirring...enjoyed hon :)

[The Twin Arenas]

aw man. thanks. you got it. thanks for the read. I think I'm gonna turn it into a story or something.

[Gummy.G]

"and the whole house could see him
but he wasn't seen." Chilling and leaves you folds of emotions. I enjoy the step of the writing, if I'm using the word step right.

[The Twin Arenas]

I have no idea.

[Matching Socks]

Man, you should do a story on Juarez.
That place is ...

[The Twin Arenas]

oh, I know.

[Matching Socks]

I've never been here, I'd be too scared, but I've heard. I've heard....

[rach]

A comment on the intentional ignorance of others ?
The last two lines were the most powerful in my eyes, people just standing by and not helping for fear for themselves.
Nice work.

[The Twin Arenas]

yeah, sort of. it's about Mexico, generally. I think it might wind up as part of a story dealing with a blurred area between life and death. and Mexico. which might be that blurred area.

[rach]

Keep me posted if you do, I adore your writing, it's inspiring!

[The Twin Arenas]

aw man. jeez. thanks.

[Lyn Anderson]

My take on this is that the crowd often turns a blind eye to the mistreatment of others, when their own hides are at stake.

[Autumn Dawn Ridge]

Is it a mystery? Make it story! I like it. . . . .

[The Twin Arenas]

it's also sort of a stand alone thing, though.