The Adventures of Lon: An Introduction to Scitasy

A summary of the adventures a necromancer goes on during his life, as well as an introduction to a whole new fantasy world.

Hundreds of years after an event known as the Continental War, during which the entire continent of Lunaria battled over whether or not the weredragons should be able to form a free and sovereign nation for themselves, relations between the queendoms of Lunaris, made up primarily of humans, elves, and fae, and Eclipsia, made up primarily of werewolves, were still shaky. The previous queen of Eclipsia, Queen Elenor Edon, hated the people of Lunaris. Her daughter, the current Queen Ebenina IV, didn’t hate anyone, and wanted peace with Lunaris. The queen had five children, the second oldest being a boy named Lon. 

At around 5 years old, Lon began to see the souls of people. This was because he was naturally a Necromancer, also known as a Soul Mage. Necromancers in Scitasy possess the magical ability to manipulate souls and soul energy. Because necromancy had been outlawed in all of Lunaria for hundreds of years, nobody understood what Lon meant when he said he could see hazy, floating mists around people, and he never really understood it himself. 

In Scitasy people sometimes form connections of the soul with an animal. What basically happens is when a person is growing in the womb, their soul will have more energy than it can contain, and so some of their soul energy is released and attaches to an animal. The animal will feel a drive to find and protect their person, and the human soul energy gives the animal a longer than normal life span. If the person dies, the animal dies, but if the animal dies and the person still lives, the person will have a hole in their heart where the pet used to be. These are sometimes called Nanny Pets, and sometimes called Beast Bonded.

During a ritual where young children are placed in a room full of animals to find their Nanny Pets, Lon found his; a gryphon. The gryphon is the symbol of Lunaris, and Lon’s nanny pet being a gryphon was seen by the queen to be a sign that Lon would be the basis of an alliance between Eclipsia and Lunaris. Because of this, Queen Ebenina IV contacted Queen Leilanni of Lunaris and they arranged a marriage between Lon and Leilanni’s daughter, Princess Lucille. 

Princess Lucille was around the same age as Lon, so they grew up together. Sometimes they would spend time together in Lunaris at the castle of Moonreach, sometimes they would spend time in Eclipsia, and sometimes they would remain separate in their own respective queendoms. When they entered their teenage years, they fell in love with each other, sometimes hiding away in closets to make out. 

Lucille had a younger sister named Druscilla. One of Druscilla’s caretakers was a man named Potensumbra, who wanted to control all of Lunaria. He secretly filled Druscilla’s head with the idea that she should be queen instead of Lucille. When Druscilla offhandedly mentioned to her aunt, Carsys, that Lucille didn’t deserve to be queen, Carsys got an idea.

Carsys Glimmergaunt, sister of Leilanni’s husband, was raised to worship the Goddess Syona. It was a solid Glimmergaunt philosophy that all of Lunaria should be conquered in the name of Syona, and worship of only Syona be enforced. Because Lucille would inevitably follow in her mother’s footsteps and allow freedom of worship throughout Lunaris, and never seek to reconquer the ancient Lunarian Empire, Carsys decided that she could use Druscilla as a pawn in much of the same way that Potensumbra planned to. 

Carsys was part of a secret society of religious zealots known as Syona’s Hand, and knew that they could be persuaded to assassinate Lucille in order to put Druscilla on the throne, as long as they understood that Druscilla could be used to reconquer the empire for the glory of Syona. There was a problem though. As Lon and Lucille grew up together, Lon’s gryphon Dai-suke became a pseudo Nanny Pet to Lucille, and would protect her the way he protected Lon. So they hatched a plan to kill Dai-suke, then assassinate Lucille. About a week and a half before Lon’s wedding to Lucille, Dai-suke was killed.

Lon and Lucille met up in an abandoned chamber in the castle of Moonreach to comfort each other over the death of Dai-suke. At first there were tears, then there was kissing. One thing led to another and Lon and Lucille ended up having sex for the first time. 

Lon decided to go to the wedding location to help with preparations while Lucille stayed behind to get herself ready for the wedding. It was to be on the Lunaris-Eclipsia border, meant to be held in both queendoms as a form of location neutrality. 

When Lucille was finally ready to go to the border for the wedding, she boarded the royal carriage. She traveled for days, and when she was about halfway to the border, an ambush set by Syona’s hand was sprung. 

It was the job of Magnus Weaver, a duke in Lunaris, to kill Lucille while the rest of the group was fighting the guards. But Magnus thought Lucille was too beautiful to kill, and wanted her for himself. So when the time came to kill her, he instead knocked her out and dragged her unconscious body to the nearby foliage. He took all her jewelry, and killed one of her handmaidens. Magnus then placed all of Lucille’s jewelry on the handmaiden and burned the body. All the members of the ambush believed Lucille was dead because of the jewelry on the corpse, and they left Magnus behind so they could report to Carsys that they had killed her. Magnus took Lucille to an abandoned shack he had purchased that was in the middle of nowhere and kept her prisoner. 

A traveling merchant happened across the bloody scene of dead royal guards and the burnt corpse, and immediately went to Lunaris’s capitol, Gryphon’s Roost, to report it. The guards reported it to Queen Leilanni, and she launched an investigation. The bodies were brought back to Moonreach, where Leilanni confirmed that the corpse had to be Lucille’s because of the jewelry. They informed the Edon family that there would not be a wedding, and Lon’s heart broke when he found out about her “death.”  They held a funeral for Lucille and the guards, and the burnt corpse was buried in the catacombs beneath Gryphon’s Roost. 

(A few paragraphs detailing Lon’s five year depression)

At first, Lon dealt with his depression by drinking lots and lots of alcohol, but getting drunk would only help him so much. Soon, Lon turned to the comfort of w****s, who would claim they loved him in exchange for a royal paycheck. 

Taking pity on Lon, his sister Ebenina V, who had just become queen of Eclipsia, decided to make him captain of the royal guard. Lon performed his duties as well as an alcoholic/whoremonger could, but eventually his mother and sister decided to kick him out of the city, Stoneacre, until he could prove he had done something productive with himself. 

Lon journeyed to the nearby nation of Balladonia, to a city named _________, where he spent the last of his gold in a tavern on alcohol. Drunk, he picked a fight with one of the locals in the tavern, who was backed by the rest of the tavern’s clientele. They beat him to within an inch of his life and threw him out into the street, leaving him to die. 

A healer named Darstina happened to find him, and she took him back to her house to care for him. Lon spent many moons (months) in recovery, and as he recovered, he got to know Darstina and her four year old daughter. After recovering from his injuries, he began to create a new life for himself, helping Darstina raise the young girl and helping with chores. Lon and Darstina grew very close, and they had a baby boy together. The baby’s name was Kevramos. 

Remembering what his mother and sister had said about being productive, he saw the child as an opportunity to get back into the castle at Stoneacre. Lon, Darstina, her daughter, and Kevramos traveled to the castle at Stoneacre, and they arrived in the middle of the night. Lon threw a few rocks into his sister’s bedchamber to get her attention, and it worked. Ebenina V asked what he was doing there, and he reminded her that she had told him to be productive. Then he pointed to Kevramos and said, “See, I’ve been productive!” 

Ebenina V allowed the four of them into the castle and set them up with some rooms to sleep in. In the morning, everyone went goo-goo over baby Kevramos and Darstina’s daughter. Lon’s sister offered Lon the job of captain back, as long as he drank and whored on his own time, and he took it. Darstina, having a life back in Balladonia, took her daughter and Kevramos back to ________. 

Shortly afterward, a ten year old orphan boy named Nero came to the castle seeking an apprenticeship in the royal guard. Ebenina V felt that responsibility for the boy would set Lon straight, and thus assigned Nero to Lon.  However, Lon continued to drink and w***e, this time on his own time, and Nero began to become familiar with the castle staff and their children. There was one child in particular, a girl named __________, who Nero became sweethearts with. They would trade kisses and chocolates with each other. Then, _________ became sick. Ebenina V hired some of the best healers, but ____________ had been struck with ________, an incurable disease. Soon, ________ died, and Nero was left heartbroken. 

During Lon’s five year depression, Lucille was kept captive by Magnus. Often, Magnus would rape her, but he was sterile, so he couldn’t have kids. Nevertheless, Lucille found out she was pregnant soon after her abduction. Magnus was thrilled, as he’d always wanted kids but never able to have them. The child was Lon’s, from when they had had sex as they grieved over Dai-suke’s death. The captive Lucille named her daughter Mi-Zuki, which means “Beautiful Moon.”

Yentu Gladomain is the son of a Lunarran duchess, Mara Gladomain, and would often spend time at Moonreach with Lucille and Lon. Yentu is around the same age as Lon and Lucille, and basically grew up with them. Yentu grows up to become an archaeologist and decides to excavate a ruined town called Garendra. 

At the end of Lon’s five year depression, during which he had learned to hate himself, Yentu sent a letter to Lon inviting him to join Yentu on the excavation of Garendra in order to distract Lon from his depression and self-loathing. Lon’s sister, Queen Ebenina V, thought it would be a good vacation for him, so he took Nero with him to Garendra. 

While excavating the ruins of Garendra’s old school, Lon found an ancient textbook on Necromancy. Lon and Nero privately discussed using one of the spells to summon Lucille’s soul so Lon can see her one last time. However, they need something physical that belonged to her to use as an anchor to the physical world. They decided to use Lucille’s “body.”

Excusing themselves from the excavation, Lon and Nero went to the catacombs under Gryphon’s Roost and find the charred remains. Lon carefully read how to perform the spell and reached through the veil into Cyrus’s box. He pulled out the soul belonging to the charred remains.

When Lon addressed the soul as Lucille, the soul told him that she is not Lucille. Instead, she was Lucille’s handmaiden. Lon asked where Lucille is and she told him that Lucille must have survived, because she never went to Cyrus’s box.  Lon asked who attacked them, and the handmaiden explained that their attackers were wearing the symbol of Syona’s Hand. Lon thanked her, and puts her back into Cyrus’s box.

As Lon summoned the soul of the handmaiden, Lucille and five year old Mi-Zuki escapes Magnus’s shack. As they are making their way back to Gryphon’s Roost,  slavers find them and capture them. She insists that she’s Princess Lucille, but everyone knows that Princess Lucille is dead.

At the slave market in the middle of nowhere, Lucille and Mi-Zuki are separated. Lucille is sold to a celli rancher, and Mi-Zuki is sold to a couple that can’t have kids.

Lon and Nero go back to Gryphon’s Roost and ask around about how to get ahold of  Syona’s Hand. They finally come across someone who admits he knows something, but refuses to give up any information. Lon takes the man’s liquor and dumps it all over him. Then he lights a match and sets the man on fire. Burning, the man screams that a member of Syona’s Hand frequents the Drunken B*****d Inn in the city of Syona’s Halo. Lon kills the man and he and Nero set out for Syona’s Halo. 

On the journey to Syona’s Halo, Lon reads a section in the textbook that explains ripping out people’s souls. Lon takes careful note on how to do it.

At the Drunken B*****d Inn, Lon asks around again about Syona’s Hand. One man admits to being a member, but also refuses to give Lon any information. Lon gets angry and successfully rips the man’s soul out. Frightened, the man reveals that Magnus Weaver supposedly killed Lucille. Lon releases the man’s soul to wander Scitasy. 

Lon and Nero set out to Gryphon’s Roost again, to go to Moonreach where the Duke and Duchess live with the Queen and King. By now, rumors have spread that Prince Lon is searching for Syona’s Hand and killing anyone who resists him. When Lon finds Magnus, the Duke is terrified because he knows Lon loves Lucille. Lon asks him where Lucille is. Magnus reveals what was supposed to happen, what really happened, and that Lucille escaped. Lon lets him live only because he is a duke. 

Author's Note

This is a work in progress.

Reviews

[JayG]

While this synopsis is something you will find useful in writing the novel, it's something a reader should never see.

First, it's a synopsis—a history. And having read it, if you present the completed version, who would want to read about events they already know about? If you're looking for feedback on the plot, forget it. ANY plot can work if the story is written well. But the best plot ever conceived will be rejected before the end of page one if written by someone who has not learned the professional skills of writing fiction.

I took a look at the other stories you have posted and they pretty much fit the same mold, and are written as a historical overview. But how many history books have you read as an entertainment? I ask, because your response will apply to the needs of your audience. So if you don't buy them, yourself...

Simply put: Story happens, it's not talked about. And it happens both in real-time, and from within the viewpoint of the protagonist of a given scene. As fiction writers we are not storytellers, and we do not appear on stage. In the words of Sol Stein: “In sum, if you want to improve your chances of publication, keep your story visible on stage and yourself mum.”

Your reader wants the fun of living the story, not hearing about it second-hand. E. L. Doctorow said it well with, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader, not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”

My point? No one, in all the days of your schooling, mentioned what Mr. Doctorow said as being the goal of writing fiction. In fact, they mentioned damn little that relates to fiction because they were training you in skills employers prize, like how to write essays, papers, and reports, all nonfiction applications. Nonfiction tells. Fiction shows.

Writing fiction, like engineering or accounting, is a profession, and all professions are learned after we master the three R's. So though no one tells us, we leave our schooldays exactly as well prepared to write fiction as to pilot a freighter through a storm.

And in the end, that's my point. It's not a matter of how well you're writing, it's that you need to acquire the skills of writing fiction just as you would those of being a pharmacist, screenwriter, or barber.

I know that you weren't hoping for something like this, but given that it's something every hopeful writer faces on the way to publication, it's not a big deal. And the good news? First, is that you mastered nonfiction writing, so we know you can handle the tricks of fiction. And, we're talking about issues of craft, not talent. To hit you with yet another quote, here's one from Mark Twain: “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” And that, "just ain't so," is what you need to fix.

That brings us to more good news. The knowledge you need is as close as the local library's fiction writing department, where you'll find the collected thoughts of successful writers, publishing pros, and noteworthy teachers. And, it's free.

My personal recommendation is to seek the names Dwight Swain, Jack Bickham, or Debra Dixon on the cover, for books on the nuts and bolts of creating scenes that sing to the reader. Donald Maass and Sol Stein are great for matters of style, once you've mastered the basics of viewpoint and story flow.

But to start, my recommendation is to pick up a personal copy of Dwight Swain's, Techniques of the Selling Writer. It's the best I've found. As a sort of preview, you might want to dig around in the writing articles in my blog. They're based on Swain's work for the most part.

But of most importance... Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/