QUARRELSOME ECHOS

QUARRELSOME ECHOS

 

 

How dare you accuse me of being the one gone guile!
You say I left you, but  baby, you've been gone a while.
I try to talk to you everyday, but you just walked away.
I am the one who stayed the path, it was you who went astray.

How long have I been standing here begging you to get a life?
You do nothing all day but cut yourself with your emotional knife,
and you veg out on medications in the name of me.
What is the matter with you, How much more to your shooting spree?

I can't fight this pain any longer, I wish I could let you go?
But you know I can't because of the promise, the debt I owe.
Unless I can learn to fly and I think I am getting closer to the runway.
You will then loose me forever and I will be free on that day.<br>

You promised You would always keep me near.
You said you would always watch for me my dear.
I kept my end of the bargain even when my heart was marred.
I have been here the whole time, buried in your backyard.

 

©Dannyurato2009

 

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Ha! A little dark humor. Metaphors often tangle up my brain, so I'm taking it literally. Here's my highest compliment--your poem has airs of Poe.

[Lizanne]

Concious and soul. We bury them to keep our thoughts and feelings silenced. This is the way we live with ourselves when we are doing wrong or are trying to hide something from ourselves. We become someone else, a fraud. We can become so lost in this escape that we forget exactly who we were. Reminds me of a conversation one would carry on with theirself. Great metaphors and imagery. You have a good poetic pen. Keep using it for more great works such as this.

[Marie Anzalone]

Hmmm... I read the other reviews, and I keep going back to my own sense when I first read this... that the backyard is a metaphor for feelings that need to be exhumed and let go. It does not matter though, because this is one of those rare pieces that can be imagined in several different ways, and each would be correct.

Very, very well done- a marvelous beginning. Thanks to Mark for directing me here, and hope to see more soon!

[Rick Puetter]

Dear WUZISNAME,

First, as wished by everyone else, welcome to WritersCafe. I hope you'll like it here. Most of us do!

Then a thank you to my friend, Mark, who pointed your poem out to me. Mark is right, this is a wonderful piece with a marvelous twist at the end, leaving the interpretation of the poem a bit up in the air. You show a picture of a graveyard but use the words "backyard", even allowing the possibility of a murder, I suppose, with the body buried in the backyard. However without having read any of the other reviews, I came to the same conclusion as Mark as to the poem's meaning, i.e., first it seems to be a failed love with one of the partners backing out of the relationship and possibly even using drugs, turning at the end to a hope that the person left alive would move forward and not be held back by too much mourning. This interpretation is not, however, completely clear.

Regarding the writing, however, that was masterfully done. Very smooth with no hint of the gigantic shift in the story until the very end. Nice writing. Let's see some more from you.

Best regards,

Rick

[R J Askew]

Know the feeling mate. I am buried in backyard to. I wish they wld not keep digging us up to check us out. Holding an old love in thrall is a cruel business. O for the clean cut! Hmm, or did I totally misread it?

[Ellen Hammond]

Wow! I am at a loss for words! This is outstanding! I love your style. You not only held my attention through it but the twist at the end sent me scurrying back to the first to read it again and again. This is truly amazing. Welcome to WC. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Mark]

Danny:
This is truly an amazing piece of work! I rarely use that word, but then, I am seldom this impressed!
You took me very skillfully down one direction, a guy bemoaning a broken relationship, fairly mundane, then, at the very last instant, turned me around 180 degrees; the narrator is in fact dead, crying out to his love to stop using his death as an excuse for self-annihilation. Wonderfully slick execution!
Welcome to the Writer's Cafe. I can hardly wait for more of your work to be posted. If you need any help getting oriented and learning how to navigate the Site more easily, please feel free to ask. It's really a very well-designed site. I will be Read-Requesting this poem to other of my firends, from whom you will shortly be hearing, I'm sure!
Sincerely, Mark Teague

[Q'ANIL]

...the ending was great...chilling words: "buried in your backyard"...well done and welcome to Writerscafe...

~CJM