Empty

I have no idea where this came from. It just came out

Minutes seem like hours

As I stare up into the stars

Shining their light down to Earth

Each one with its own story

 

Days pass in a blur

As I think about my own life

Will it inspire someone to be better?

Or will mine be a grain of sand on a beach?

 

People talk but I don’t hear them

As I drown in the mysteries of this life

Questioning the reason why it had to be me

Why did I have to have this horrible life?

 

Anger boils underneath cold veins

As I look around to see smiles and laughs

Groups of friends huddled together

Telling jokes while I sit alone somewhere

 

Silent screams in my head

As I watch people go through their day

With a care of yesterday or tomorrow

Leaving me to suffocate in my past

 

On the surface of this hurricane

I appear calm and in control

But I’m forced to play my poker face

I’m completely expressionless

 

My heart flares against the cold

As I find some way to feel again

Forcing smiles and laughs

But I still feel empty

Reviews

[Norma M Sutton]

Beautifully said.

[Joiedevivre]

Love the poem by the way.

[Joiedevivre]

often i ask myself the same. But then i saw a documentary on artists that all had horrible lives, depression and pain and they all took it and made something beautiful. It may not make it right but it helps to know that for me somehow.

[Solidad]

I will leave no comment other than it is shelved in my library listed as "favorite". That should say enough in and of itself.

[.shalynn.009.]

"Or will mine be a grain of sand on a beach?" great metaphor

You did a really good job conveying tone. The melancholy of the speaker, the loneliness, came across so well. A lot of people will be able to relate to the internal struggle of the speaker.

That being said, I hated this poem. Reminded me way too much of my days in high school. It was seriously like you climbed into my head and wrote down what I was feeling.

Great write. You have a gift in getting across sadness and the isolation of someone who just can't seem to fit in. Keep writing.

[♥Kaitlyn♥]

very good!
I loved reading this!
You did a great job!

[Wake Up!]

i liked the hardness of it, it was cold with bitter hot undertones. didnt think you were a resentful writer :P

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to reopen emotion after we close the doors. I like the description in the poem. I could feel the disappointment and desire to stay empty and safe. A very good ending to a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Denise]

Good portrayal of bottled up emotions of anger and frustration. Perfect descriptive words to show the emotions that are buried deep inside to come alive on paper...it feels so real that I understand you, that I AM you in this instance...like you just let the world step inside your shoes to view it from your eyes. Great job!

[A]

You completely spoke my mind in this poem...
I've been trapped for some time now, struggling with such feelings you magnificently described... I always say the sun will rise again and there shall be a better tomorrow, but now I'm having second thoughts
wonderfully written and very emotive
I really like it, thank you for sharing.