Sit down with the Therapist

This didn't happen and it was only an idea. That I clearly loved.

               Therapist: Ok, Dakota. How are you feeling today?

               Dakota: Pretty good, I guess.

               Therapist: That’s good because today I want to ask you a series of questions. They’re not going to be about you, per say, but about your thoughts and feelings towards the outside world.

               Dakota: …Alright?

               Therapist: Great. Remember there are no such things as ‘wrong answers’. Ok, here we go. “Roses are red, violets are…”

               Dakota: Are not red.

               Therapist: (scribbles on notepad) “The actress Angelina Jolie is…”

               Dakota: Crazy sexy.

               Therapist: “Jimmy cracks corn…”

               Dakota: Contrary to popular belief, I DO care.

               Therapist: It’s always a good thing to care.” The best snack is…”

               Dakota: Brownies… because I AM the Brownie KING!

               Therapist: …ok? “The best passion is the passion of…”

               Dakota: I believe it’s the passion of all things that one can NOT be passionate about… maybe it’s just me.

               Therapist: (sighs) “Terrorists spread…”

               Dakota: Um…. Terror?

               Therapist: “What’s your middle name?”

               Dakota: Karma (smiles)

               Therapist: On your birth certificate it says ‘William’

               Dakota: Ones imaginary.

               Therapist: Alright, we are SO done.

               Dakota: How’d I do?

               Therapist: Horrible. Violets are blue, you only got very small points for saying it’s not red. And terrorists don’t spread terror, they spread fear. There is a difference.

               Dakota: But they’re called ‘TERRORists’ for a reason.

               Therapist: Yeah, that’s because it’s catchy. You don’t see people saying ‘Hey, we’re in Iraq beating up Fearists.’ It just doesn’t work.

               Dakota: Alright, so I got two out of like six questions wrong. Still good.

               Therapist: No you don’t. The brownie king thing was ridiculous and your middle name is ‘William’ not ‘Karma’ and you don’t have an imaginary middle name.

               Dakota: How would you know? Can you see my imaginary middle name?

               Therapist: BUT I gave you some extra points for the Angelina Jolie question.

               Dakota: (long pause) Wait a second, I thought you said there were no wrong answers.

               Therapist: I lied.

Reviews

[Chidoriflower]

Hehehe, so funny. I wanted to be a psychiatrist later in life....so freaking hilarious.

[Sarah Niver]

This just made me day...err rather, night. Thanks haha.

[Ardeth Lane]

And THAT is why I hate therapists. Thank you for shining light on their uselessness. :)

[Norma M Sutton]

sounds about right to me lol