I Won't let You Go

Not the best but NO THE RHYMES WERE NOT FORCE....just didn't come out right

Cuss at me
Beat me relentlessly
Use your creativity
Keep me in chains
Take my heart you still slain
Just keep what remains

I want you
I don't want it to be through
If I'm going, you are too
I'm not going away
Not matter what you say
I'm here to stay

I can't get enough
No one will know your bluff
Just tie me to the bed with your handcuff
You have no idea how much I care
Someone like that is rare
I just want your heart to repair

Forget about mine
It's out of time
But, to me, it's hardly a crime
It's because of me
But now I see
I'd rather make you happy

Reviews

[Jazique]

No errors were found in my book. Now for your poem it was wow. Someone who has given up on their own heart but, sees if their is an chance to fix another's heart while their fade aways is so nice but, yet all so hard and powerful. Its almost like those who donate organs for when they know they are dying and will not make it they will at least try to let someone else live. You did a great job as a creative idea and all. I enjoyed, great job.

[rayven]

I love it :D
The rhymes don't seem forced. I also really like the way you set the poem up. I wish I were better at structure. All of my poems are basically set up the same way, but not yours. Your structure is a little random, but then again not really because it still flows and works. I really like the line:
"Use your creativity." I don't know why but both times I read it, I was like "Whoa." It's just a different way to put it and it's very nice!
Good job :D

[Confidential]

I feel like this is a good song waiting to happen. All it's missing as of right now is a chorus, and there you go, you have a song! I do like it, but as OkieWonKenokie pointed out, the way you word it in several places is a little strange, the one thing that really popped out to me though, was the eleventh line of the poem, the second to last one of the second stanza. It says "Not matter what you stay" and I can't help but think that's probably supposed to be "No matter what you say"? In any case, it's still a very nice poem, and an enjoyable read! Keep it up!

Respect,
-Confidential

[RJ620Win]

nice poem, i really love it! keep it up dude!

[OkieWonKenokie]

Beautiful write! I don't know if these are errors or not but were you meaning "No matter what you say" and When all you do is bluff"?they sound a bit odd the you have them worded but maybe that's just me. Lovely write though.