Chapter Six

          I sat there looking into the most beautiful eyes I ever looked into. They were probably the only eyes that I have ever noticed before now. These gorgeous eyes belonged to a gorgeous woman. The one person I could truly say ‘I love you’ to and actually mean it. No lies, no deceptions in these words when I said them. But it was only when I said them that really counted for truth. The rest of this, the relationship, the girl, these three words from her lips, was lies. Nothing but deceptions and venom filled the air around me when she spoke. But hell, I was blinded by love. Someone I truly loved someone I would take a bullet for. Even if the bullet came in words and killed me on impact.

                We were just sitting there looking at each other. Her mouth moving and I was just pretending to listen. I knew what was coming; I knew it was coming for a while. But I wasn’t ready to let go, and I doubted if I ever would be.  We were sitting at a small coffee table outside of the Café. The only Café or coffee shop around for miles. Small town but long roads into other towns. We happened to be downtown sitting at that table. I was drinking sweetened ice tea and she was drinking a Cappuccino. A blue umbrella came up the middle of the table and hovered over us.

                “…and you’ve been a real good friend to be for the past few months…” I joined the conversation for a moment to catch the words ‘good friend’. It made him sick to even think that this happened to people, not just him. All over the world someone loves another person, who doesn’t love them at all. It’s menacing, it’s cruel, if not unfair. Why can’t we just choose who to love? I looked past the umbrella as she still spoke with her gentle and sweet voice. Dark clouds blocked the sun from shining down on us. And I was sort of glad. I did not want something bright to shine when the words came out. I sighed heavily and looked at her. Her red lips, perfect curves, long brown hair and gleaming eyes. If anyone was to ask if she has a boyfriend, they wouldn’t believe the answer was ‘no’.

                This girl is… special. Almost fragile. She doesn’t play for keeps but plays for a quick fun time. It’s who she is, what she has become. To see such a girl waste her days f*****g some random guy she doesn’t even know and then act like life is fine and the guy will treat her right. I stood back for months, hearing these stories. And talking to her just before she was about to go out to a party somewhere with her friends. Be asked out by a random guy talked about sex for pick up lines and the word ‘yes’ come out of her mouth. I began to wonder how I became mixed up with this bullshit.

                Well, we met doing a play together. Of course, she was new and I have never seen her before. But, man, did she know how to take the breath away from me. It was like a crime, it was unfair how beautiful she looked. That’s how we met. Then we just talked on the internet. Facebook mostly and we got into a private conversation one day about me. Of all things to discuss, we ended up talking about me. She asked and I sort of wanted to know something about her. So I answered the question and she started talking about how she knew how I felt to be through what I did. I figured that much out on my own, it was a giveaway.” Let me be there for you. No one should try to do this by themselves.” She spoke to me via message. I wasn’t allowing it. I’ve been disappointed too much in this life to make that mistake again. But she kept pressuring me and pushing me, I didn’t want to talk about it so I said ‘fine, I’ll let you.’

That conversation was the last time I heard from her. She went off to college, did her partying and drinking along with other things. Of course we had those one minute facebook, text message conversations but it wasn’t about me or her. Just how she’s about to go out and how she’ll talk to me later. I wasn’t about to force someone to fulfill a promise they made if they didn’t keep it. They made it, they have to fulfill it without my guidance. Well she came back a year later after our first meeting. The moment I saw her I regretted going. I had to go to the library though. She walked in and dropped off some books that her family was giving to the library and she saw me. Man, I wanted to kill her and kiss her at the same time. She walked up to me and said very jokingly,” What? No hug?” Oh the nerve of her to do it, but her voice calmed me and even made me freeze into place. I couldn’t say no.

And that was the last I heard from her, until she said she wanted to meet up a few months ago. She poured all her thoughts and feelings onto me to the point where I didn’t know what to do. I did the only thing I knew how, sat there and nodded every so often. She was such a tease, two years older than me and it’s illegal. Man, I hated this. It was so unfair.

“I just don’t think that it would be fair for you to …” She started saying again.

“Oh just shut up, Sarah.” I snapped back quiet enough not to disturb the other tables.”I don’t want to hear why, just say it and get this over with.” It wasn’t anger that drove me to say it, but desperation, the sense of having to run away. Just run until I felt safe again.

She paused and smiled sadly and took a sip of her drink.” You could’ve kept in contact, Dakota.” The nerve of that woman! She said that before to me and my reasons were clear why I didn’t. I did fine when she was gone and out of my life and she’s making a mess of it now without knowing about it.         ” Anyway, I’m going off to college soon, and I’ll be staying with my mother in Boston on the vacations so I won’t be back for a little while. But I looked forward to seeing the play before I leave.” She tried smiling at me. But the last sentence made my mood worse. It was like she was trying to tease me, trying to break me down into suicide. One person I could truly say I love and she goes and f***s me up to the point of no return.

“I’ll see you then, Dakota.” She said gently and got up. She walked away with her drink and I sat there watching her go. I didn’t say anything to her. I saw her get into her green car and drive away without looking back.

“Remember your promise, Sarah. Remember that I’m here for you. Remember.” I whispered under my breath. Every word was true, but how could he say this to her. She was older, sluttier, and had problems. I wanted to help but it’s hard to. I sometimes ask myself why I didn’t push forward more on her. To try and save her before this happened. Maybe because I didn’t see this coming. Maybe because I didn’t know what to do. Maybe because she made a promise and I didn’t forget. It’s hard to save someone who did not fulfill a promise.

I looked up and saw nothing but dark clouds. And as I sipped my ice tea, it began to run down on the umbrella. I just sat there glaring at the parking space where Sarah parked, and listened to the drop of the rain pounding the umbrella. It calmed me but it made me feel alone. The one feeling that I was scared of. I wanted to be with Sarah but how can I express in words what I feel? It feels like something that is impossible to do. Something I’ll never do for multiple reasons, even if I had a choice. I got up and walked into the rain and tears filled my eyes and camouflaged with the rain on my face.

Reviews

[Jazique]

Sure their were a few grammar errors but, I was unsure how to fix those but, your spelling was flawless as far as I can tell and you writing was excellent as always. It was all so sad and it truly is ashame when a wonderful person is hurt by the world or love whether one is blind or when the law can not be blind to age. Love is always something worth fought for and definitely one of your biggest battles. You did a amazing job or recapping everything, feeling the words with emotions as read and description marvelous as at the end I could see the tears and the rain inter twain across the broken face. Spectacular job and keep up the writing and hopefully one day you'll finish this book called life and may it happily with the one you love, the one that will love you back and the one that the world shall let you love. Bravo!

[Short.Nerd]

Excellent ending :)

[Kira]

I don't think one person being 19 and the other being 17 is illegal, but that's just me.