Chapter Four

They say disappointment is just life saying ‘wake up; things are too good to be true.’ Well, as each day passes, I believe this to be truer than the day before. But things were looking up for once.  I talked to Sarah more often and got to know each other, Kenny joining the group of small friends. But there was a small hint of trouble in my gut, though I put it off as just me being nervous or scared of disappointment…again.

                We talked whenever we were not rehearsing and over Facebook. Things seemed to be looking up for me, finally. A good friend was made, even though I thought of her more than that. But I figured that since I just got to know her, it’d be best to sit back and wait while having fun. At least, that’s what I thought. I’ve always been a person to accidentally notice something that might hurt me or just be completely random. But what I noticed, is that Sarah had taken kind to Kenny. Not in the ‘more than friends’ way, of course. I didn’t sense that at all. But I sensed that they were talking together more than I talked to her. Which started to be less and less.

                I didn’t hate Kenny, sure I was jealous in every way possible. He had always been liked by kids his age and had a way with making friends. I was completely opposite of this. I struggled to talk to people, I always had this pissed of expression on my face. Could you blame her? Could you blame ME? Of course not. I understood and I accepted the change, but with a dwindling happiness.

                Finally, the time arrived for the big performance, the Friday and Saturday performance was what I was looking forward to. I could show off, be the star and make people laugh. Of course, the Director (or the script) suggested a little closeness with me and Magnolia while she was flirting. The change happened during the dress rehearsal, one practice away from the Showtime. Man, was I embarrassed. The look on my face. I was so uneasy, so uncomfortable, so red!

                Anyway, showtime came and I started my monologue from Lucas Maxwell to Sam Maxwell and put a hand in my coat pocket to retrieve a phone so I could “call Hercules.” But my hand fell through the pocket and to the inside of my coat. I could still feel the phone against my body so I knew it was there. I just couldn’t get my hand in the pocket. So I had to improve quickly. I said to the audience,” Alright! Who stole my pocket!?” Which had a laugh, and the show continued. Nice.

                After the two nights, I didn’t see Sarah again. Though I Instant Messaged her once to tell her how I felt. It was a moment of desperation, I was freaking out and school was about to start. I told her and she said the most unbelievable thing to me. She said “Sorry, I’m older than you. I’m sure it’s illegal. And besides, I don’t like you like that.” Figures, stupid age and damn emotions. God, humans made laws. Who the hell says who we should date at what age?! I was furious! But… she was right. I would be the fool that was in love with her and always will be. I knew it and I hated it. We moved on from the subject and went on talking about how she was going off to college.

                Great, another reason to hate yourself. You should’ve known she was this old, you idiot. I yelled at myself.

                That conversation was the last I heard from her until two months later. When I was falling apart with Cassie back in my life and driving me insane. I didn’t love her but she bugged me and just reopened the wounds she made. It was hell.

                I came home one day and sighed as I sat on my bed in the middle of a filthy room. I looked at my cell phone and knew no one texted me or called. It was like that all the time, unless it was family. I got up and looked at it to see I had one new voicemessage. I raised my eyebrows and checked it. Guess who it was. That’s right, Sarah Ryder wanting to hang out. It was almost Thanksgiving and last I heard from her was when School was two weeks away from starting. The nerve. But I called her back and she came and picked me up.” I need to get some things from the grocery store. I figured we could hang out.” She said. So sure, I went with her.

                “So how are things, Dakota?” She asked as she drove away from my house.

                “Fine.” I replied.”School’s a b***h but whatever.”

                “You know that’s not what I mean, right?” She replied.

                “I know.” And that was the end of it.

                As we walked into the grocery store I got hyper. I couldn’t help it, I was with the most amazing girl and I felt great. Of course, I still felt it was fucked up to not keep contact for a few months. But her excuse was that school was a b***h, also. I let her slide.

                On the way home, she danced while driving and even put her right hand on my right cheek and sang. She was teasing and man did I hate it. It was torture, like the devil would scream in pain and beg for it to stop. But I just smiled.

                That was the last time I hung out with her. I tried texting her and IMing her. But she was always about to go out to a party, or a friends. Or she was just busy. I got the hint. I knew what was going on the third time she said she was going to a party. She was one of those girls that drank to forget and probably got screwed that way. After all, drunks girls are vulnerable. I don’t mean to sound like a sexist but it’s true.

                I hated her, but I loved her. And each day I would just picture her and then drag myself out of bed and try to find my god damn lost manliness. But it wasn’t there and I’m afraid she took it from me.

                I wasn’t the only one to notice this either. Kenny got in on the hints as well. And we began talking about it. I was worried and pissed off. All this took less than 7 months to happen. Now late March, and things are fucked up. Then everything went back to normal for a few more months. Then of course, summer came around again.

                Time for the Youth Group play. She wasn’t there, thank god. Me and Kenny kept talking about her. And one day I was talking to Kenny via text.

                “Hey Kenny, what’s up?”

                “Nothing, man. Uh, hey guess who I just talked to just now!”

                “A….customer?” I thought he was at the library.

                “No. Um, Sarah. She wants to hang out.”

                Pause for dramatic effect, and time to get this big knife out of my back. She’s in town, about to hang with Kenny… but no sign of her talking to me? Great, f*****g fantastic! I didn’t blame Kenny for it though. Only one person I could blame. There was a reason I never tried getting in contact after our last hang out. That was because two things happened. 1) If she makes a promise, she has to keep it and 2) she pissed me off. I don’t know how but the way she teased and just talk about guys hitting on her and acting like it’s no problem bugged me.

                “Really? Um, well have fun… keep me updated?” Damn me and my curious desires!

                 "Yeah, let's meet up tomorrow at the library, ok?"

                  "Fine."

               

            

               

Reviews

[Jazique]

Errors: "But I sensed that they were talking together more than I talked to her. Which started to be less and less." sentence put a "," after "Which and make it a lower case getting rid of the period, "But what I noticed, is that Sarah had taken kind to Kenny." and get rid of the "," after noticed, "I didn’t hate Kenny, sure I was jealous in every way possible." put a "; " after Kenny instead of ",", "Anyway, showtime came and I started my monologue from Lucas..." their is a space between "show time", ". I got up and looked at it to see I had one new voicemessage." "voice message" has a space between it, "After all, drunks girls are vulnerable. I don’t mean to sound like a sexist but it’s true." put a " ' " before or after the (s) in drunks, "Me and Kenny kept talking about her. And one day I was talking to Kenny via text." remember I before Kenny so replace "Me" and any other errors I'm not sure but, anyways chapter as good as ever. Awe he seems so hurt and knows it going to hurt more but, yet he can't seem to pull himself away from her. Its so sad because she seems like a flirt while Dakota really likes her but, Kenny may not know that cause future problems for all three to surface soon. the book is definitely getting interesting so keep up the great writing.

[Closed Account]

Oh.My.Gosh! This changed so much from the last chapter!
I can't believe that Sarah changed from being so sweet (Like she was in the last chapter) to being like this!
Sorry that you had to go through all this,though):

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

The contrast between this chapter and the previous one is quite...dramatic.(Not in the full-of-drama way, but the it's-a-big-change way) Grammar is still an issue, but I'm just going to stop mentioning that, because it gets redundant to type that...I'm sorry about what happened with Sarah. It's amazing in the cruelest sort of way hot things happen like that. One minute, you're great friends, full of laughs; the next, you're struggling to have a short conversation with who seems to be a complete stranger. And the comment about girls being "vulnerable" when they're drunk, EVERYONE is vulnerable when they're drunk. But, I don't know. Sarah is one very confusing, conflicted girl. I'm sorry you had to go through heartache again. (