As It Goes

Something I wrote down rather quickly as it came to me, just a random piece.

As the thoughts become darker,
  the cuts grow deeper.
As the food intake decreases,
  the number continues to fall.

And with all,
the body grows weaker.

A smile cracks upon a face,
That which is becoming more sunken and pale.
Dark bags of exhaustion forming
Beneath eyes that are faded and dying.

A fragile mind of two parts,
Seeking both a swift salvation and an absolute end to all,
Burns brighter in a light of twisted satisfaction
As it moves closer yet to its' ultimate demise.
One of a divine holiness, 
                                      A tragically beautiful eradication of the self.

Author's Note

Didn't do much editing. Figured I'd leave it as is and see what people thinks.

Reviews

[RachelReaper]

This doesn't need much editing, or any at all, really, it just woks itself out and shines all on its own, this was awesome! The descriptions were real and it flowed like all of your best poems.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much :)

[Ahmad Cox]

Amazingly honest and dark yet beautiful and gripping at the same time.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks so much!

[Kelsey]

You never fail to amaze me, dear. The writer in me goes a bit crazy when I see a read request from you, because I never tire of your beautiful words. As always, you did a great job with this piece.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Aww, thank you! I appreciate it much :)

[Allycat]

This had no need to be edited! I think you did a wonderful job
"A fragile mind of two parts,
Seeking both a swift salvation and an absolute end to all"
Beautiful!

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks so much!!

[quinfinn]

have to wonder if some of the lines should be taken literally or metaphorically but, either way, this is a dark and provocative piece. i can't help but like it because i love anything to do with the human condition. well done!

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks! :)

[quinfinn]

so welcome...