A Death Celebrated

Fighting for a lost life, misunderstood by all. While her, herself misunderstood the world as well.

Born into the world and robbed of a life
A constant struggle to keep her head above water
Barely able to catch a breath
Before weights wrapped around pull her under again

Always trying to be good enough
Fighting to make anyone proud
A failure in over her head, flailing around
Amounting to a nothing and a no one

From the shore, just another eyesore
Making too many waves as she thrashes about
Beyond extreme exhaustion, she's giving her all
Kicking with everything she has and everything she is
But everything she is has never been enough

Sinking into dark waters
Beneath the unknown and finally lost of breath
She opens her eyes as water floods the lungs
Just another disappointment to everyone

Until she hears the muffled sounds of applause and celebration
Realizing then, this is what they wanted all along
To be rid of such a burden, the end of a wasted life
If only she had known this, she would have given up a long, long time ago
And to her delicate wrist, would of taken a knife

Reviews

[Ahmad Cox]

Its just so sad that so many people go through life feeling this way but you captured it very beautifully

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much!

[Jack Reaper]

such a darkness in a surrender by someone misunderstood. fighting to continue when no one seems to care. all they want is to be unburdened. sadly this is so common in a world today where people only care about themselves. they dont take the time to understand anyone. what they really dont understand is that theyll miss someone great. thats my feelings from it anyway, as it related to my own experience. simply wonderful.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks so much for the review! Everything you said is such truth to the way our world and the people among it are. All the feelings you got from it are exactly what I was trying to portray and express so I'm glad that's what you got from it. Again, thanks for the review!

[Jack Reaper]

youre most welcome, thoroughly enjoyed. im somewhat wandering through the dark side myself, so things like this really speak to me

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Same as well. I've struggled through many dark periods in my life and currently am in one again. I've always been more of a dark and twisty type person so the raw, dark, deep pieces of writing and art tend to be my favorites. It's definitely easier to understand someone else's struggle if you've been there yourself or can somewhat relate.

[Jack Reaper]

exactly

[Jordan's Back]

This writing was very deep, Profound, and over all an inspiring piece. It shows the futility of fitting in, of becoming a conformist to the Pseudo-Proneness of society. It Also Shows the Pain that results in buying into the Brainwashing, that can only come from the World. The Knife, a Quick fix to the Problem, yet the never-ending turmoil, would finally bring rest. Excellent Piece. Return the favor please. and Thank you

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much for the review and time you put into it to write it!

[Jordan's Back]

Your Quite Welcome, I enjoy People Who Write from their innermost soul.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

I, as well. I'm the same way :)

[Matty Bosox]

Wow Whitney!!! Wow!!! I mean...um...WoW!!! LoL I would interpret this as a person trying hard to fit into everyday society and like so many others just being beaten down by the fake and beautiful people..Thats what I get out of this..Any way that it is interpreted it is beautiful and exquisitely written...This is such a macabre and depressing poem but that is just a disguise for a bright, diamond glowing, sparkling, and gorgeous jewel of words and meaning...What an excellent job Whitney...When it comes to poetry you are nowhere near drowning, as a matter of fact you are swimming with the dolphins...Keep it up

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Wow, thank you so so much for such a wonderful and detailed review!! It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it and the time you took to write it. Again, thank you for such kind words :)

[Matty Bosox]

Not a problem Whitney...I always try to give the best reviews when I see great work...I know as a writer, when you put hard work into something you don't wanna hear simple reviews like "oh thats good" or "I liked it"..Thats why as a reviewer I think I should put in just as much work as the person did writing it...And Whitney with this write it was all my pleasure trust me. :o)

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

I completely agree with you. When I find a piece that is truly art and that I find is wonderful and speaks to me, I feel the need to give a more in depth review and really give the writer more than "good writing" and "Great job", things like you mentioned as well. That's really cool that you have that view as what it means to be a decent reviewer as well. I applaud you for that.

[Brielle Cartny]

Creates a lot of imagery. I pictured the people clapping at the end as just normal people. It is sad, but it tells me so many people are mean and that is how i think of them in general as a whole.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks for the review :)

[J. Viands]

Extraordinary as always love the way you intertwined her mind with the physical act of drowning well done

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks!!

[Allycat]

this is such a powerful piece. All your pieces are always so powerful. The ending is so wonderfully written, excellent job
continue writing, I really enjoy your work!

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much!! I truly appreciate your reviews and support :)

[de_maruf]

fine

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks

[Kelsey]

This is one of my favorite pieces of yours. I love the story it tells, and in some odd way, how it ends. Beautifully done.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

And as always, thank you! :)

[Poison Ivy]

Born into the world and robbed of a life
A constant struggle to keep her head above water
Barely able to catch a breath
Before weights wrapped around pull her under again

this struck me to the core.... made me feel the power in it. amazingly done.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much!