Hidden Wounds; Invisible Wars

Walking dead girl
Eats too little, eats too much
Doesn't speak enough

Words are no comfort
To a soul that's numb
Her heart is fragile, ice cold it's become

Eyes in much pain
Lips that smile, all just lies
Few words spoken beneath a broken sky

A victim to the mind
Alone she sits, with a vacant stare
Voices surround her but no one's there

Endless pills that never work
A faith so lost, the cuts grow deep
Nights become longer and the days more bleak

This black weight she can no longer bear
Such a short life lived to yearn for death
A single tear falls as she takes her last breath

Reviews

[Ahmad Cox]

Very beautiful and wonderfully empathetic poem. This poem is a powerful affirmation for anyone who has had to live in the dark

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks for the review :)

[quinfinn]

this was intensely personal for me because my older sister Gail was schizophrenic from the age of 16 until her horrible and painful death to bone marrow cancer in April of this year. whether it was your intention or not, this poem touched upon her torturous existence...hearing voices, feeling self loathing and unable to cope in society. she called me on April fools day to say goodbye, although at the time i didn't realize what she was trying to tell me. she died the next morning. i wrote a tribute to her and it has made many of my friends who knew her break into tears. so, believe me when i tell you that this poem is special. moreso than you know.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear of that kind of loss! My heart goes out to you. That was mostly my intention of this piece, not exactly schizophrenia specifically but mental illness's in general.

[That1Nerd23]

Ah, very nice writing. Very sad...but well written and relatable.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you very much :)

[That1Nerd23]

You're welcome. (:

[J. Viands]

You truly got a way with words not a lot of people realize we are not writing essays we are provoking emotions bravo bravo

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much, that means a lot!

[Allycat]

Th ending is so powerful, I really love this.
Thanks for sharing Whitney

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks for the review!

[de_maruf]

nice

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you :)

[Kelsey]

The end of this really got to me; it's something that takes your breath away as the poem does the girl's. You truly have a gift for writing, especially things like this. I personally loved the flow of this piece and the words you chose to rhyme. Wonderful job, and as always, I truly enjoyed this.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thank you so much, it means a lot to hear such kind and supportive words. And I'm so glad you enjoy my writing :)

[Poison Ivy]

Eyes in much pain
Lips that smile, all just lies
Few words spoken beneath a broken sky


again, another line that hit way too close to home for me. but thats what writing good poetry is all about. expressing from the heart. for doing so will inevitably bring others who feel the same.
excellent poem

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks so much

[RachelReaper]

This gets your emotion so clearly across *clear as a bell!* and portrays how you wanted to make the reader feel or what kind of mood you wanted to portray.

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks :)

[Knight, not a Saint]

Awesome rhythmic pattern!!!....
Superb depiction of the emptiness of soul and the inability to relate to a world that pretends to relate to you!!!...
Excellent pace too.....

[Whitney Kleinhuizen]

Thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate it :)