The boy who was honest

There was a boy probably 12 years old,

His complexion was dark and his heart was as pure as gold,

He belonged to a middle class family,

And embraced the concept of charity,

But he was always made fun of in school,

And his classmates didn't thought that he was cool,

But one thing he would never try,

Was to tell a lie.

But by telling the truth,

People never gave him a sweet fruit,

Usually he was beaten and sometimes slapped,

But he never fell into the devil's trap.

People never talked with him,

They neither walked with him,

Because they were in the fear that he will open their secrets,

They didn't considered him to be normal,

And always behaved with him in formal,

Fearing that he will say the truth again.

After a few years, he was diagnosed with cancer,

His dream was to become a dancer,

People cried non-stop on his funeral,

And the people who said that he was abnormal cried the most,

His mother cried too because she would never be able to cook him again his favourite jam toast.

I think God took him away because he never belonged to this world,

A world which contains people who look at a person's truthfulness with their eyes blurred,

It is interesting to know about what is happening today,

A honest man is beaten,

And a liar is praised,

He could have lied and experienced worldly joy,

But he will always be remembered as an honest boy. 

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

I think that this is a nice little parable, but sometimes rhyme is not your friend--rhyme is a wonderful formal device when it suits your needs, or when the from calls for it, but often it forces you into a box of finding a word that rhymes as opposed to saying what you need, and I think that is often the case in this poem. I think you have something very good hidden in here, but I also believe you need to scrap the rhyme scheme to find it.

[WAkashdeep]

I really appreciate W.k.kortas for criticising my poem because one may find many people to praise a poem but none to criticise it. But I want to say that a rhythemic poem dosen't necessarilly mean that each and every line should have a rhyme. I agree that one or two lines in my poem are out of rhythem but if you try to really understand the meaning of those lines then you will find out that those lines are the most important lines of the poem because in the end rhyme without meaning is absolutely useless. And if you really like rhythemic poems then try reading some of my other poems which are having fabulous rhythemic tone.

[Haley Wilson]

This is really good! I also find that it's incredibly realistic. When you're gone, everybody starts saying how amazing you were and that they loved you. Sad but bitter truth.

[WAkashdeep]

Thnks for reviewing