My Ponderings on love...all about where I stand

My ponderings, musings...who I am...concerning love..lucid...purely my perspective!

 
I ask you. What is love?
Is it the endless tasks one does for another human being to aid in their discomfort.
Is it a smile?
Is it a hug?
Is it a warm bed and food for ones stomach?
Is it rocking a wee baby to sleep, when you yourself are sleep deprived?
Is it walking thru darkness with one when you yourself know not where it leads?
All of these and so many more are love.
I seek one....I will find you...have I already?
It is my choice and I have chosen you , but it is your choice solely to choose me if you choose and you may not, I accept this.
Be aware tho, this brave heart will pursue until his last breath, to find her.
I have surmised before that I have found this soul, I was wrong!
No..I speak of long ago, not now.
You , the one I currently search for I have yet an open door to your soul.
Blanched dreams, no imput, I ache to know you, yet I have a miniscule knowledge of what you say of yourself.
There is a vast sea of love in you.
You hold it for one, sigh, I long to be the choice.
To be or not to be, is this the question of old?
I will tell you of what love is.
Love is all the afformention things and it is a beautiful experience you have when you ponder the one you love.
It is wakening in the morn and having your heart on fire with a zest to share with all you encounter, together.
It is a flaming red sky and a brilliant harvest moon, crisp winter air and fresh powder fallen snow.
Warm kisses and love making, weeping with , laughing till your sides hurt.
Fighting, making up, growing ,learning, sharing, instructing..endless truly!
It is something to seek after, to keep seeking and damnit knock until you get that one you love to at least come to the bloody door, metaphor, not really a door, perhaps a door to this person soul, a passage, a beginning.
There is always a beginning and end.
I am confused most of the time about being lovable, I am not whining, I am stating facts.I know I am lovable, for I love myself.....most of the time...lol.
I find myself unattractive because the world I live in is focused on the facade of the flesh, where do you find beauty?
Love is not found there, it is in ones being, their heart...I spoke about being definable, we are...
Love defined:1. A strong liking for someone or something 2. a strong affection of one person for another 3.the object of such affection; a sweetheart or lover.
These are my thoughts and may not make sense to some, maybe to some, I speak to one.....me,.for I am alone it is all I have for now, simply a fact not needing sympathies.
I have guilt for too many things  I was not gulity of, yet I need to see I have so many personal things to be thank-ful for.
To me these things are rubbish if I have not love, what fun is it to be alone ALL the time?.
I would trade all of it for love, ALL OF IT , I said would not do this again, yet I would, give it AWAY...possessions can not tell you they love you, they can not nurse you to health, they cant rub your back , smile at you, aww c'mon  now give us a kiss and WINK  ;0)
The very core of who I am, I would trade to be loved.
Not carnal lustful love, the like of which is slushed about as normal.
No, a deep intimate love, one of mutual trust and adoration of each other.
Yet if one loved me with their soul, they would encourage me to be who I am and I would not have to be anyone for them I would be loved for who I am ....loved for...me and for my love I would reciprocate..it must be this way.
Love is letting go of oneself so that the other can soar to new heights, like the tune, "Wind Beneath Your Wings"...yet I state now..clearly...should I suffer my own success for their gain, this would be my choice and this is true love..I would do it and did do it in my former marriage...it failed of course and it took time to realise I was not a failure...nor was my ex-mate...it just did not work.. a bad investment of sorts..
I have so limited knowledge of love, I have quite honestly only had one relationship, I did not date, too shy at that juncture in my life..and now that I understand it, love, I feel empty.
You dont have the answers, I must find them in my soul.
You can encourage me, I welcome this...
I am growing, I cry a lot...it is good and it hurts at the same moment.
I realise a woman will not make it ALL better but, she will be one to whom I can confide in and she with me, this is all I ask.
Thanks for listening.
Will