Legacy

     Dirt crunched underneath Reinhardt's feet as he impacted the ground. Blood was freely running from every spot touched by the strange tattoo's now covering his body. It was a clear sign that he was dying, and it wouldn't take long before the overuse of his powers would kill him. His eyes fixed onto the temple he had finally reached, and he readied himself for what needed to be done.

     The Temple of Ten Heavens was an impressive sight. Reinhardt would have enjoyed marveling at it's magnificent design, but today it wouldn't be enough to tear the pain from his heart. Tears blurred his vision of the building. His last few moments with Roas ran over and over again in his mind. There hadn't been anyone since the death of his family who made him forget his cursed life, but now she was gone.

     Guaging what energy he had remaining, Reinhardt pulled what little of his power back as he could. The power running through his veins took away his limits, his only limitation was his body. Every second mattered if his vengance would be fullfilied before he died.

     Red light peeked over the mountains as a new day began. Trees in this part of the world were scares and didn't grow very tall. The grass didn't react like most of the strange Duzee grass and stood straight up, regardless of stepping on it or not. Reinhardt guessed it was because the Temple of Ten Heavens was deep within a valley that was concieled on all sides by thousands of feet of mountains. Without his enchanced strength it would have been impossible to have gotten in except through the one opening in the valley, the Gates of Twilight.

     It was believed that the ten twilights would bring piece to all mankind when they returned from Paradise, a plane of exsistance for those who died. Nobody knew what the twilights were supposed to be but everybody had a theory about them. Reinhardt noticed movement near the top of the temple and watched as people began to make their way into the morning light.

     Zephyrus was the first to step out into the valley. Hate touched Reinhardt's face when he saw the wind master, but it didn't compare to what he felt when Fire Master Briver appeared. Sitting on a nearby step was the pompous Master Conners, still looking down on him. Klaas emerged from the darkness of the temple, and then Reinhardt knew his suspicions were correct.

     “I’m so glad you could join us Reinhardt. You may have noticed our little deception by now, but I am proud to say that we have accomplisdhed our goal! This war is over, at long last. The Whitlow will soon have control over every nation.” 

     “Spare me your lies, Klaas! You have no intention of ending the mindless   slaughter! The Whitlow used me to kill the only master who couldn't be controled by your sword!” The tattoos on his bleeding worse now. Reinhardt couldn't deny having used a lot of power against the dragon, and even getting to the temple had consumed too much.

     “You’re right, but I wouldn't be the first to attempt it. I only successfully united all of the masters so everybody could benefit. With a single supply of weapons and goods, I will be able to supply all six nations with the things they need to fight a ‘war’ that doesn't really exist. People need something to fight for, a reason to hate someone else. I plan on giving them exactly what they want. The Duzee will wage countless bloddy battles for centuries with Icilee. Ental and Fatir, Wanve and Rornin. It doesn't matter who the fighting is between, it will make us stronger as a people.”

     “Millions of people will die, and all you care about is money, Klass?” 

     “You can’t expect a peasant to understand something like this Klaas. Just get on with it and kill him.” Master Conners said, apparently bored with the conversation as a whole. Reinhardt did understand what they were trying to say. By producing wars the Whitlow was keeping mankind in a constant state of prepairdness, never letting them go dull and risk being blindsided by a real threat if one appeared.

      "This peasant killed that dragon when nobody else could. Don’t underestimate what kind of an ally he could be Conners! We wouldn't have to worry about any elementalist threat ever again!” Klaas sounded angry, but Reinhardt knew it was just the effects of his sword. With obedience on his side he had managed to control everybody and make them follow willingly.

     “Sorry to interrupt your brainstorming session, but I will never join with you. I agreed to help end this war, and if that means killing you all, then I will.” Reinhardt didn't have much time left. Pain ragged freally over his entire body now and he knew he wouldn't be able to fight for an extended length of time.

     “We have all seen you fight! You’re strong but you refuse to kill, and to top it off you don’t use that useless sword! How can you possibly stop all seven of us?” From the temple Master Yesenia Master Joer, and Master Jusbra of Earth emerged. All six masters stood before him now, and formed a barrier between him and Klaas.

     Everyone had different feelings or moods visible on their faces. Conners looked as aruggent as ever, a few others looked interested, and a few were even bored, but nobody looked freightened. Him and the masters wouldn't be prepaired for what was about to happen.

     "Klaas, this ends here, today. You're playing with the lives of people will end along with your own. I hope all of your money follows you to hell."

     With one smooth motion Reinhardt released his cloak, while reaching up to take the handle of his long sword in hand. Master Zephyrus looked confused when he could finally see the vine-like tattoos that now covered Reinhardt. His skin, which had been blistering before, looked to be gray and cracking now. There was no denying that he was dying.

     Zephyrus drew as much power towards him as he could, still unable to completely harness his new abilities, but before the new master could move to attack Reinhardt was moving. The hundreds of feet between him and Klaas disappeared within a few seconds. Even though it was killing him, Reinhardt’s power had made him far stronger than anyone they had ever faced off with before. He had been created to stop wars; to best any person, creature, or even the six elemental masters in combat. If that meant using all of his remaining       power to kill a traitor than he would do it gladly.

Klaas had managed to draw his own sword, but couldn't get it high enough to stop the descent of Reinhardt’s own blade. Blood sprayed everywhere as the blade connected with flesh and split Klaas in two. Organs fell to the ground and his now red stained sword fell from his hands, shattered. Pain flooded Reinhardt's body, and he toppled to his knees. 

     Finally having enough time to react, the six masters put as much ground between themselves and Reinhardt as they could. He hadn't intended on fighting them but refused to turn down a good chance to end the masters as well. Picking his sword back up off the ground he fought the burning pain trying to hold him down. Catching sight of Master Joer creating a long sharp spear of ice, Reinhardt cut the attack in half. Having seen Astreaus create his attacks from his own energy Reinhardt couldn't be surprised by that trick.

     “Don’t let him get close to you!” The fire master yelled, not aware of the Dragon’s Tail. With the exception of Zephyrus, none of them had seen it in a fight. Realizing that they didn't know the full extent of his equipment the young wind master tried to warn them but couldn't before Reinhardt was moving again.  With deadly accuracy the tip of the Dragon’s tail shot through a poorly aimed ball of fire, and struck Briver in the throat. 

     Blood shot from his mouth as Reinhardt launched himself towards the wounded master. When he was close enough he grabbed the blade of the Dragon's Tail and ripped it free, causing more blood to spit free. As large as the man was he could do nothing but fall to the ground and gasp for air. Not waiting to see if it would kill him, Reinhardt moved on to his next target.

      “No!” Master Yesenia screamed. Keeping her from the wounded Briver, Reinhardt kept himself between them. Doing everything she could to break his defense, the woman created walls of water and crashed them down onto the death master. Using his sword to push the attacks safely out of the way was easy. Without realizing he had done it, Briccio had taught him a dangerous defense against wind and water. Yesenia was beginning to become frantic and started launching attacks in quick succession.

     A condensed blade of wind flew towards Reinhardt in an attempt to separate him from the water master. Almost as if he wouldn't allow someone else to interfere in saving her, Master Conners released a bolt of lightning at Reinhardt. Master Conners looked proud of himself until he felt his lightning traveling away from its intended target. Even though he couldn't control the power of a master they couldn't change nature.  

     In the midst of the chaos the cable of the Dragon’s Tail had been wrapped around the neck of the water master. A smile creaped across Reinhardt's face as the lighting struck her, she screamed wildly. Conners was horrified by what he had done. In an earlier conversation Roas had informed Reinhardt about Conners’ love for the beautiful Yesenia. He was happy to exploit their love triangle.

      “You masters believe that because you have power you can’t be beaten! Even if you kill me I will have torn your lives apart!” Ignoring the pain crushing his heart, Reinhardt began closing the distance between him and Zephyrus. Simply dodging the wind that came at him, he quickly closed enough ground to strike. Panic filled the masters’ eyes as he watched. Reinhardt released the lock on the Dragon’s Tail and lifted his arm, twisting his body for the inertia he needed for the shot. Just before releasing the blade Reinhardt’s arm fell to his side, stiff and unusable. “Damn it! I only need a little more time!” A large stone block slammed into his ribs, cracking them and sending him flying. 

The damage to his body was finally taking its toll. Without the use of his arm the      Dragon’s Tail was just a piece of metal. Getting himself up off the ground he barely blocked another slab of rock that was flying towards him. Catching sight of the fire and water masters again he realized that their injuries had been healed. Playing the fight in his mind he figured it was most likely the earth master who had accomplished that little feat.

     “Healing? That’s a neat little trick. I have a trick for you too.” Reinhardt didn't have much left in him now; his arm was proof of that. The first time he had done this it was enough to slay that dragon this time the attack would probably take what was left of his power. Reinhardt was determined to leave a mark in their minds, something they would never be able to forget. Drawing everything he had left into his sword; the powers within him flowed like a river. A strange black glow covered his blade as death wound through the small tunnels of the sword.

      A strange muteness fell over the area. Sound stopped and the sun’s light dimmed. None of the master could understand what was happening, but they all felt it. As the the energy within the blade rushed out, terror struck their faces.  A wall of stone rose from the ground, trying to hold back the wave of darkness cascading towards them. 

     The unstoppable darkness ate through the defense without slowing. Zephyrus pushed the earth master out of the way of the blast using his own power, and barely managed to dodge it himself. Even though she had been healed, the water master was frozen in panic. Master Conners pushed her out of the way but couldn't avoid the entire blast. His leg disappeared, vanishing within the darkness.

     Having reached his limit Reinhardt fell to his knees. He couldn't move anymore, but a smile still crossed his lips. “Death finds all. You can’t stop it. If it’s not me, than it will be someone else. I was given this power to end the war and put you all in your graves.” A sobering silence fell over everyone. Knowing the truth to what he said they couldn't argue.

     Heaving in pain, his tattoos were beginning to turn gray. The surrounding skin  was tearing as dark red blood dripped onto the ground. Laughing almost hysterically Reinhardt could only watch as Master Joer surrounded his entire body in ice, encasing him in a frozen prison. 

     “Make sure he doesn't come back.” Motioning to the temple, Zephyrus began gathering the winds and forced the ball of ice into the air. As it crashed through the wall and into the monument, the Earth master collapsed the structure, burying it under a few million tons of stone.

     “Can you heal his leg?” Zephyrus asked the Ental master. 

     “I can close the wound but I cannot make a leg. If his leg hadn’t been completely destroyed I might have been able to reattach it but there is too much damage now.” Moving over the wounded man, he placed his hands on the open wound. Drawing in power from the ground around him he began stopping the bleeding and eventually closed the wound all together.

     “What do we do now? Klaas is dead but we can still go through with our plan.” Nobody was surprised to hear Joer make the suggestion. Under different circumstances the amounts of money they would make would easily be worth the trouble, but Klaas no longer had control over them.

     “That power… Twilight...” Unable to speak the water master started crying. Her mind had been broken during the fight; her will to lead a nation for the sake of money was most likely gone as well. 

     “If one death elementalist could be created, than others could be as well. Any one of us would have died if we had fought him alone, and on top of that he looked to be half in the grave already. I will have no part in this anymore, not if this can be the outcome.” A few of the others nodded in agreement. Dust was still settling onto the ruins of the temple as the sun continued to rise. Jusbar agreed with Zephyrus, but the others looked resiliant to continue. Conners and Yesenia were all but useless now but at least four masters could stop the plan, and hopefully the war. The influence of Klaas' obediance had been stronger than Zephyrus thought. Now free of his hold he couldn't see why he had ever wanted a never ending war.

     Looking up at the fallen temple the wind master thought. They had trapped him in ice, and he was already about to die, but they needed to make sure he would never have the chance of escape. Deciding on a plan he turned back to the master.

     “We need to build that temple again. We will surround that man with a prison and hide his exsistance from the world. I will post guards here to ensure nobody releases him.” Joer said.

     “I agree. He should already be dead but we need to be careful. No elementalists can go near this place.” Zephyrus added, agreeing with the ice master.

     “What shall we call this place?” Briver asked having taken a seat against a rock nearby. The large man didn't look very interested in the whole ordeal but at least he was beginning to agree.

     “Temple of Six. It's easy, short and shouldn't bring too much attention.” Everybody nodded their acceptance of the plan and they all looked at the ruins. If the Death Master again roamed the planet nobody would be safe.

Author's Note

This foreshadows events in later books. Even in his almost dead state Reinhardt is more powerful than the six masters can handle. If he had been at full strength they would have been defeated.
Even though he doesn't know it, his actions have ended the war, at least temporarily.

Reviews

[Cedric D. Jr.]

It's a good chapter and a good ending. There were certain things throughout that let me know that your book contains a couple good plot twists, too. For instance, exploiting a love triangle by having one of the three kill another of the three was good, and I know that it would have been more potent for the reader that read the book in sequence. Those things usually are. I was impressed with the fact that, as I read, I intuited that Reinhardt had gained various tactics, strategies, or even abilities along the way most likely from these masters if I'm picking up on the contextual clues correctly, and I love that sort of thing in Fantasy and Science Fiction because it's one of the best ways to clearly show a character's growth and development from beginning to end. It was clear that Reinhardt had done a lot of growing in this book.

You have an extremely vivid imagination, but I think it overpowers your writing to an extent. Proofreading is a key element, no pun intended, for you with regard to punctuation, a commodity of which you have too little, and spelling; granted, you had several words, mostly names, that were not English, but if there's anything a writer can't afford to misspell, it's the names of the characters, key items, and important locations in the story. Proper nouns can throw people way off when they're misspelled, and when you have the weird names that every Fantasy has, that can get difficult to manage.

In addition to proofreading, you should read aloud to yourself. An author's voice is important, and the idea is to take advantage of the fact that you're not telling me this story in person and can, therefore, take the time to polish your sentences to make them flow cohesively. Certain sentences in this chapter every now and then sounded similar to how children sound when they're recounting their day at school. It didn't happen all that often, but I think you're still finding your voice, which is what reading your work aloud to yourself can really help you accomplish.

In lieu of these two things (proofreading and voice), your imagination is what stands out. Your creativity is something most writers don't have, which is why they depend more on the technical aspects of writing to carry them. You're a pure storyteller right now who happens to also be a relatively good writer. For example, your ideas with regard to people's abilities and powers were great; the entire concept of the Elementalists is very good. I can tell that you also do a good job of correlating certain characters' elements with their personalities, too; even the names, like Zephyrus, were great given their varying ties to their abilities.

One other area in which you excel is building suspense. I haven't read the book, yet even I, ill-informed as I am, could FEEL the culmination of previous chapters in an epic end starting all the way back in the first paragraph here, and that's a rare skill to have. Within the chapter itself, you do an impeccable job of keeping the readers' hope alive for Reinhardt throughout this fight while still making it painstakingly obvious that the odds are stacked against him. It's not just the numbers that beat him but the fact that we, as readers, are already aware that he is dying rapidly. The suspense was very real, and the fact that he doesn't completely succeed substantiates it all; all of which is further evidence of your ability as a storyteller.

Finally, I'm reviewing this originally for the Spunkiest MC contest (Fantasy Foretold), so my final comments are on the main character. I have only one of the three submissions left to read before I vote, but of the two I've read thus far, your main character is the spunkiest. Personally, I'm an avid Anime aficionado, so I felt the similarities here. Reinhardt belongs in Japanese Anime; he is adamant about what he believes in, and he does NOT take "no" for an answer. In addition, he showed a few witty remarks in this chapter, so the fact that he can talk a good game goes a long way as well. Reinhardt is an excellent main character.

[Vouren]

Thank you so much for the review.
Above everything else I have to say thank you for understanding the key point to the entire book. This story is the pre story to the actual series. it's entire purpose is to show how a peasant farmer becomes the man nations bow too, and secondly, that Reinhardt will not EVER STOP. Throughout the series this character flips back and forth between protagonist and antagonist because he knows what he needs to do and will forfeit everything to get there.
I know I have a lot of work to do with spelling (my arch nemesis) and how I write, but I'm working on it. I'm getting better as I go and eventually it will be a great story haha.
I hope you vote for my character and even if you don't I'm so glad that he's enjoyed, that's why I wrote him.