Were they dropped on their heads one too many times as babies?

Who let these fashion culprits loose on the streets of Frankfurt?

I would like to pose a question of which the answer is of utter importance to me: Why are there so many badly dressed people in the world?

Today I once again stared in utter disbelief at the outfit choices of many of the people walking past. I kept asking myself: "Who let these people loose on the streets of Frankfurt?" "Were they dropped on their heads one too many times as babies?"

My mouth hung open as I watched them chattering by. First there was the cycling-pants man. No man alive looks good in it's-so-tight-I-won't-be-able-to-have-kids pants.Especially not if he is 60 years old. And there is no bike in sight.

After that, there was the group of underwear models. The gangster wannabe16 year old boys whose pants are purposefully bought 5 sizes too big and subsequently show their entire posterior to all unfortunate bystanders.Did no one ever tell them that the belts are not in fact there to fasten their perfectly nice, expensive jeans to their knees?

The next worth mentioning, are my friends with the painted-on pants. I saw three people in one afternoon wearing weird, shiny, black footless tights. This wonderful little creation is longer than normal fashion tights and come to just above the ankles ( in such a manner that it looks as if it shrunk slightly in the laundry). The tights also come with mandatory silver zips at the bottom, just in case that specific 2 centimeters of the leg needs fresh air during the day.

The last fashion-culprit deserves special mention. I officially promote her to the prestigious position of  "What were you thinking? Queen". Now this special friend of mine forgot to put pants on before leaving her house. She was obviously in a hurry. Or she was drunk. Her Majesty graced the streets of Frankfurt in a very short pair of black  shorts. These pants were so short, that if she were to stop suddenly the force of the stop would cause the pants to be sucked into her behind. They would disappear forever and not even an experienced search party of 73 people would ever find it again. I lie not. They honestly were that short.

So, I ask again: Why do people do this? There are hungry, half-naked children in Uganda, Ethiopia, South America. Poor children who have not been given the oppurtunity to dress themselves each morning. I plead with you, THINK before you don your favourite scary clothes. Do it for the children.

 

Reviews

[Lady]

What you say is true!
You have a great point here and you could actually continue with this. In essay form, that is.

My tip would be the following: Focus on where these styles came from, and how embarrassing it is that mankind insists on following such trends. They say you are what you wear, so possibly make that your theme and work from there on. You're on the right track, and it would turn out to be a very interesting piece if you made it into an argumentative essay.

Nice job, Vonnie - I'm impressed.

Lady

[Legion]

As a pig, I don't wear pants. As a flying pig, that should scare you even more. Muwahahahaha. ;)

[ElizabethAnn]

Dude, this cracks me up. you are quite the writer. i love this--wonderful idea. and oh so much truth to what you've written. great piece!