Tabitha London

Originally a writing assignment for my (SGD) creative writing class. We were assigned a random name and tasked with writing a character sketch. I decided to turn my character sketch into a short story

Tabitha London

            Tabitha is unable to recall any memory of her true parents. She was found as an infant deep within the forest grove. The child was wrapped in a torn bloody cloak nestled atop a bed of leaves. It was an odd sight but the child did not make any sounds nor cry. She was taken into the local orphanage. She was an unusual child. Unlike the other children, Tabitha was obedient and well behaved. She was always quiet never uttering a single word. The orphanage's caretakers even believed her to be deaf.

            Years had passed and no one had adopted Tabitha. She watched in silence as the potential adopters passed her. After fifteen years, one of the orphanage's caretakers stumbled across something unbelievable. The old man heard an enchanting voice, unlike any other. He was drawn to the siren's call. The sublime singing came from Tabitha. There she was, standing in the rain perched cliff side. The wind carried her short toffee colored hair and her grey eyes reflected the ocean's grace. The caretaker dropped to his knees, yielding to her voice. "She is like a maiden among the storm" the man claimed.

            Stories of the young maiden swept across the land. People began to flock to the orphanage to hear Tabitha sing. Despite her talent, she never uttered a single phrase unless she was singing. It was also believed that Tabitha held a special gift. Her voice was able to soothe any beast and quell the pain in a person's heart. Eventually, a wealthy man from a distant land, by the name of Volten Dupree, paid handsomely to adopt the young teen.

            Tabitha was taken to a new world, across the sea. She came across people wearing frilly dresses and coats with tails. A few weeks later Dupree had Tabitha performing before crowds of anxious people in sold out arenas. People were astounded and truly captivated by her singing. However her singing was a double edge sword. No matter how much Dupree begged, Tabitha only sung melodies of sadness. It was not uncommon for Tabitha to come to tears during her recitals.

            People always questioned Dupree as to why Tabitha did not speak or show any sort of emotion. Dupree would simply smile and respond by saying.

"She conveys her emotion through her music."

Author's Note

My only request is that you be honest with me. Whether something is good or bad please tell me why. Only truthful constructive criticism can help me grow as a writer.

Reviews

[CrimsonShinigami]

I feel like you can dive deeper into her story and elaborate it a little bit further like why does she sing her emotions in her music. I don't have any hate in this as I see you have potential in making the story flourish a little bit more but that's my opinion in this and I can't change on how you feel about this piece it's a nice well-done piece for me. So keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Brandon Adams]

I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my piece. I fully agree with you that I could dive deeper and flush out the characters and the world. However, this piece was never meant to be anything more than what it is now. This was an assignment back in college. I thought about expanding on this a few times base on feedback, but I like it as it is. But once again thank you for the feedback.

[Debbie Stevens]

This is good Brandon. Well written and leaves you wanting more. You can feel her inner turmoil without knowing the cause. Have you completed it?

[Brandon Adams]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It always means a lot to me when someone reads my piece and leaves feedback. I always try to hook the reader. There's nothing worse than reading a story and having no connection towards it. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, but sadly I have nothing planned for Tabitha. This story was meant for a college project and really nothing more. Despite nothing having a story for her it doesn't mean I've forgotten about the character. A lot of people have asked me to continue the story. I don't have anything in the works as yet, but who knows what the futures to bring.