Chapter 6 (Rewrite)

Everything falls apart for Erk.

It’s over. 

I sulked, sitting back against the wall. My wrists burned, cuffed tight by holding gel that pulled at my fur. At least the Peacekeepers had the decency to keep me sat on the wall opposite the NaiTech goons, whose muted jeers were barely noticeable from that distance. Though, occasionally a comment about how I was a tribal Kaval mutt would whisper it’s way across the room.

None of the Peacekeepers seemed interested in talking to me. But, to be fair, I wasn’t exactly keen on conversing with the people who would later be filing against me for any of a number of hopped up charges. I would once in a while catch their hateful eyes, glaring out of corners as they walked past.

“Erk, the Spence’s kaval pet.” A smooth female voice, practically singing with joy was the first to acknowledge me since I’d been cuffed and handled into the corner.

I looked up, finding a tall muscular woman, wearing a black one-piece slip suit. She lifted a gloved hand, brushing the hair on one side head behind the ear. My eyes traced down her neckline, where her top was unseamed by a fraction on her chest. Down the skin-tight sheen of the one piece, where black utility belt on model-perfect hips. 

If not for the situation, the wiggle in her thighs could have been mistaken for an attempt at seduction. Even moreso, when she leaned in close and parted thick lips just a fraction. I waited anticipatorily for whatever may come next.

She slid something out of the belt, and leaned past my shoulder. Coming close enough to catch the fresh fragrance of conditioner in her hair. She reached past me, and inspected my gel cuffs. 

They loosened, and moments later dissolved completely. Satisfied at the release of my restraints, she stood up and turned around. My eyes caught the glare of her synth-leather one piece, reflecting off of a well-muscled bottom half. I swallowed down the heat of arousal, and stood. Waiting for an indication of anything, I brought my hands forward, rubbing at sore wrists.

“Agent Chandra,” she introduced herself in a hollow, emotionless voice. “Kringle’s office. Follow me.”

She led the way, and I followed into the office. Stepping through the doorway to the empty room, I noticed a lack of Kringle. Wherever he ended up, he was no longer in the office. If I were to hedge my bets, I’d guess that he took an opportunity to escape through some hidden exit. Less than keen to be questioned by law enforcement.

The agent turned around, facing me, and leaned back on the virt-desk. She ran her hand to her bangs, whisking freshly stray strands side behind her ear. With the end of the motion, she tapped at something clipped behind the helix. An orange retinal holo-display blinked to life over her eye.

“No priors. Adopted family is all in law enforcement or military. And, you happen to be a highly praised student.” Chandra twisted her lips into a crooked smile. The first show of emotion since introducing herself. “Would be a shame for all that to go away.”

I grimaced, reflecting my mood.

“I see that has your attention. Good.” She patted the virt deck console. “There’s something I want you to see in Kringle’s archives.”

I shrugged, and curled my lips. “I don’t have any wire-in implants.”

“There’s a VR headset here.” She reached down behind the virt-deck, pulling out a bulky headset, and tossed it toward me. “Video’s queued. Just put it on and load it up.”

Doing as she said, a video flickered to life, beginning with a black screen and a date in white numerals. 07/12/1789. Assuming it was standard Post-Colional dating, the date the video had been recorded was two hundred years ago to the day.

Black screen transitioned to grainy security cam footage. In the centre frame, was a massive battleship touching down in a circular amphitheatre. Concentric rows of kinetic dampeners with large square shaped dishes. As the ship descended, the dishes adjusted to absorb and neutralize the ship’s incredible energy expulsion. The ship lowered into a raised dock, with hardly more than a brisk gust of wind.

Then, the video fast-forwarded. Slowing down to normal speed after skipping over roughly thirty minutes. The camera then zoomed in on a lone disembarking passenger. I felt something growing in my throat, at the silhouette; a humanoid shadow, with pointy ears.

A kaval, was my first thought.

The camera adjusted to the low light, centring on the lone figure. With the image corrected, the shadow was revealed to be a human man with orange tinted skin. He looked in the direction of the camera, and jade green eyes resolved into the centre of the screen. I fought back the urge to gasp on realization, shocked at who I saw.

It was Old Spence. Much younger -- two hundred years ago.

The video paused, and a second recording popped up in its place. Spence once more, but this time in standing before a control panel behind a cylindrical anti-grav pad. Above the pad was an orange orb with reflective chrome sheen, levitating in the centre and illuminated from below by upward pointing pot lamps at the base of the pad. The recording, unlike the first, also seemed to be filmed from a handheld camera. The date however, was the same. 

There were at least four people in the video with him. Though, the camera remained focused on him, and a second person hovering at a console beside his.

The second man was clacking away at a terminal as incomprehensible data whirred on a monitor screen. Old Spence, stood beside with hands splayed on the edge of the console. Leaning, watching him work. The video went on like that for about half a minute, before Spence made a slight motion toward a terminal port. The video paused momentarily, revealing a palmed thumb drive. 

Video played forward once more. In a split second Spence’s hand flashed in front of the port, before he stepped forward and obscured the cameraman’s line of sight, thus hiding his activity from the camera.

The second man stepped away from the console, looking back with confusion as the screen opened a second window that flashed lines of code. The room went dark, and the orb at the centre began pulsing with orange light. Somewhere from out of frame, a siren lamp shone red in timed sweeps across the room. Then the video cut to black.

I removed the headset. Not entirely sure what I had watched. I at least was aware, in my state of growing worry, that it was cause for concern.

“I’m sure you’re confused,” Chandra began.

“Walk me through it?”

Pushing off of the virt deck, she snickered, and started pacing the room. “First part of the video. Your little friend’s grandfather, Nathanial Spence, arrives as the lone occupant of a high tech ship from Neo. This was two hundred years ago, which also happens to be the day that the Unita-Neo ceasefire was called.” She looked back at me, as if to make sure I was paying attention. “As an aside. Probably the best thing that could have happened for the sovereignty of Chyunda. Chyunda was neutral during the war. Due to the proximity to Unitan centres of operation, Chyunda likely would have been annexed before long.”

My concern deepened, forming a knot in my throat. “You’re Unitan?” I asked, drawing a connection to Hadley.

“Took you long enough,” she smirked. “Next part of the video. Spence is aiding a Chyundan extraction team in getting the damaged ship ready for flight. Well, there’s two very interesting things about this recording. First, as I’m sure you notice, Spence tampered with something and then an alarm went off. The thing you wouldn’t know is that the person on his left is actually Unitan. He’s a double agent.”

“So, wartime politics. Why the history lesson?”

She trotted toward me, and I couldn’t help but feel attracted by her domineering. She stood in my face and looked down her nose from a few inches above. “Well little Erk, the Chyundan’s wanted to help Spence get that ship back to his homeland. Our people, however, were there to get all the specs on that ship that they could. NeoTech, unfortunately, has been an edge against us. He must have known we were there to steal intelligence, and he put the ship in lockdown.

I twisted the corners of my mouth. With my hormones releasing their grip, I became uncomfortable at her proximity to me. “What does this have to do with me, right now, though? This seems like a long gone problem.”

“Well, we moved in on Kringle today. We’ve been waiting for this day.” Abruptly she spun around, and the wind from hair brushed against my face. She paced away, back to the virt deck and patted it, looking back to me with a demented grin. “This wasn’t the first console of Kringle’s that we’ve gotten intel out of. But we had to wait for today before playing our cards.”

“We,” I cut in. “So I take it you’re working with Hadley. You’re a Liberator?”

“Hah! A Liberator. No.” She sneered. “I’m in the Unitan Intelligence Authority. I’ve been working here in Chyunda for the last year. Part of a joint task force between our nations you see, to shut down international crime rings, like the one Kringle is part of.” Her smile grew in a menacing wide grin. “You are also implicated in that crime ring, along with Jade.”

The mention of Jade had me worried for her safety. It was no secret that Unitans could be xenophobic. As a kaval -- public enemy number one to the Unitans -- I was keenly aware of it.

“We were able to covertly extract info from another site. It revealed two things. First, that Kringle had this video. Second, and more importantly, we learned that Spence didn’t just put the ship into any ordinary lockdown. You see, we found out that the ship would decay into a secondary state of lockdown after two hundred years, as it’s AI core gradually lost energy.”

“How does this involve me?”

“Oh,” Chandra started up again. “Well Hadley seized Kringle’s archived footage, and sent it all to me right away.” She gestured to the retinal holo-display, “I parsed through it, found the interesting parts. Found out that there’s a way to get into the ship once it goes into a lower energy state. When Spence plugged that drive in, code started spewing out all over the console. I reconstructed it.”

“What’s the way in?” I stood, maintaining a calm demeanor despite the fact of being both genuinely interested, and afraid.

“The kinetic shield can be overridden,” she paused, stepped forward and leaned toward me with an index finger poking hard at my chest. “By you.”

“What?” I laughed. “How the hell can I unlock that thing? I wasn’t even born until fifteen years ago, and didn’t come into Spence’s life until fourteen.”

“It can be overridden by any user, who has a kavalli genome.” 

The revelation hit me like a brick in the face. And with the shocking reveal, my own involvement in the life of the Spences also popped into question. Did Virgil know? Is that why he took me in? I could feel myself turning ghostly somewhere beneath all of the blue fur. And then, hot with rage.

“So Erk,” Chandra started up again. “I’m a reasonable woman. And I can also pull strings in the Peacekeepers here. I can get them to forget this ever happened. And you’ll do what I ask, won’t you? Because you’re a good little pup, a good little doggy who obeys his human masters, aren’t you?” The last part she expressed with a mimed pout, speaking to me as if I were a misbehaved pet.

“I won’t do it,” I chimed up.

“Yeah,” she snickered. “Figured you might be willing to throw away whatever paltry semblance of a life you have. But we can also drag Jade down in the dirt with you. And I’ll be damned, if all that hard work she put into the Academy won’t go to waste.”

F**K. I was fuming, panting heavily through flared nostrils, fists balled at either side. I had no choice. Chandra had me. I had to do it in order to protect Jade.

“I’m judging from your silence,” she regained the soothing tone. “That you will obey, and keep your little friend safe.” She looked up at my still face. “Okay then, we’ll make all of this go away. You’ll have a future, and so will she. But you have to leave here, Erk. We don’t know when exactly that ship will be open for you, but it will be soon.”

“How do I find it?” I rattled off in a near shout.

“Haven’t you figured out,” Chandra laughed. “Heard lately about any NeoTech hidden somewhere in the city? An informant overheard your little discussion back in the Underlow.” 

The the connection unraveled, and I felt for a moment, exhilarated. The exchange of credits between Hadley, with Finnic, Dren, and the bartender at the tech den.

“It’s the Rat’s Nest,” I said in a sullen tone.

Chandra cleared me to leave, as she promised, with the Peacekeepers. They protested at first, but it didn’t take much maneuvering on her part to get them to come around. She cited the same things she held over my head minutes earlier as bargaining chips; my adopted family, their reputation, and my grades.

Not knowing exactly what I should be feeling, I stayed silent. After Chandra’s , they returned my mobi and weapons, and okayed me to move along.

Before parting ways, she gave me access to private lines for both her and Hadley. And then, I was off, with a mission to find my way to the place under the Underlow.

My first thought was to go straight to the source. The home of Nathanial Spence. Zipping across Quarry’s Edge, and then the Scraps, I made my way to Labour Street by three forty two.

Stepping onto his rickety porch, I knocked on the door and pushed it ajar. It was unlocked, as usual.

Stepping through the foyer to the lit kitchen, something felt off. A slight burning in my nose. A familiar thing, tickling at the edge of my memory. Some chemical odour, that I was familiar with, though, couldn’t place.

“Hullo?” the echo of my voice was soaked up by the dense clutter in the dank home.

No reply came. Between the strange odour, and stillness of the townhouse, something itched at my neck. That feeling of something going on, that I couldn’t quite see the full picture of.

I walked into the living room, and that chemical smell reeked, stronger than ever. I waved my hand in front of my nose, and made a face. 

What is that smell?

I stepped toward the coffee table, following my nose to the centre of the room. That odour, burning my nostrils. I search for that memory, like the nasal version of an earworm, teetering on the edge of awareness but not quite there.

That smell…

I looked down at the coffee table, and centred on a holozine. That smell. The zine, laid there, drawing me in. This picture. My sight glued to the name of the zine; Centros Captures. That burning, smell, what?

My lips quivered, and nostrils flared. I scanned down, leaning closer, and staring down the cover photo. Where, the f**k. Was this photo taken!? A mountain. It burns. The taste of smoke in my mouth. The smell burns, like the fire. The mountain drew me in, and that smell brought out notions of smoke, fire, and blood.

This picture…

Zoning in, like tunnel vision aimed at the peak of that mountain. THAT smell, overwhelming my nose. The image and the smell fought one another for dominance. 

Spence’s green eyes stared at me through the photo. Or so I imagined. What is this picture? I wanted to ask him. I imagined Jade’s green eyes staring at me and the familiar smell of her lightly applied perfume. What is that smell?

And then the smell evaporated, as a second odour stole me from the moment of mesmerization. This new smell pushed the chemical burning away, replacing it with feelings of tenderness. The thorn blossom. The telltale fragrance of Jade’s perfume.

She was here, I realized.

I snapped out of my daze, reeling back from the coffee table. Bending over one knee, I looked under it, already knowing in some way what I would see.

A cylindrical tube, and an electronic device. A series of wires grew out of the electronic portion, snaking into either end of the tube, which had been capped and taped shut. And on more wire, which ran from the electric device, to something else.

My eyes traced the length of wire to another device. My face felt hot, as I looked at the red glow on the face of the crude machine. Red numerals. And  they were counting down.

Four, three...

I stood up straight, and looked at the window across from me. It was boarded over, for whatever reason. Placing a foot on the coffee table in haste, and toppling aside the stack of holozines, I kicked off and leapt through the air, heading for that boarded up window.

Two…

I tucked my head behind my forarms.

One…

Plywood splintered.

Zero.

Heat licked at my tail. I was accelerating, and the plywood gave way with my weight. I felt the heat pass through my boots, burning my heels. Peeking up through my forearms, I watched as the ground rushed toward me.

That smell, I realized, racing face first to the dirt.

For a split second, I saw an icy mountainscape covered in thorn blossoms. The blossoms burned, and their charred fragrance spread everywhere. But, overwhelming that fragrance was that chemical burn.

And then it went away. All I could see after that were green eyes. Those green eyes, always staring into me with that look. Those green eyes of the mountain top. Those green eyes of the thorn blossom. Those green eyes of the chemical smell.

Staring at me. Like I was broken.

Reviews

[Wathanya.5KY3]

I'm reading this whole chapter all wide-eyed and jaw-dropped. Katt's a sadistic and powerful woman, and I would've liked her if only she hadn't freaking blackmailed and coerced Erk into doing things he didn't want to do. Grr!

And also, THERE'S A FRIGGING BOMB IN GRANDDAD'S HOUSE!?

My favorite line in this chapter: I thought about killing them both, right then and there, but the fact that Hadley was still out there somewhere was all that prevented me.

I feel that this chapter is very well written. Nothing felt odd or inconsistent in particular. There's some nitpicking to be done here and there, true, but I'd say this is quite a clean chapter. Which is why I'll be moving on to nitpicking dialogue punctuation.

1. For just a moment I allowed the weight of all their hatred to drag me down, throw me in chains, and tie me to a crime.

- comma after "moment"

2. I waited in the alley those moments, thinking about how my life would be over, and trying to encourage myself to the otherwise.

- a word or a few words seem to be missing from "I waited in the alley those moments"

3. She was appropriately dressed for biking, in a one piece black plastifab and sporting both a heavy leather jacket, and a pair of boots.

- one piece => one-piece

4. She removed her helmet, which was of a ceramic make, and chin length brown hair unfurled from underneath.

- chin length => chin-length

5. “Get up. Follow me.” She spoke, laconically.

- "...me." She spoke... => ...me," she spoke...

6. The guy who’s jaw I broke followed behind, and grabbed the discarded graphene knife, concussive and rail guns leaning against a peacekeeper van as we walked by.

- who's => whose
- "followed" already implied "behind," so you don't need "behind"
- the discarded graphene knife, concussive and rail guns => the discarded graphene knife and concussive and rail guns?

7. The woman shrugged. “Suit yourself,” and fell back into Kringle’s theatre chair, settling with an elbow on knee, forward leaning position.

- shrugged. => shrugged,
- forward leaning => forward-leaning

8. “Also as good will…” she paused, and leaned back into the chair. “Johnson’s gonna lend you that rail gun, and give you your knife back.”

- comma after "Also"
- good will => goodwill
- chair. => chair, (because, "Also, as goodwill, Johnson's gonna lend you that rail gun and give you your knife back," is one single sentence)

9. “Well,” she tapped on the earpiece once more, and lifted her left palm to reveal a holo projection.

- "Well," she tapped... => "Well..." She tapped...

10. But then they flashed in photos taken somewhere else; somewhere I didn’t recognize, and with a young boy I didn’t recognize.

- stylistic: you used "I didn't recognize" twice in identical ways. This can sound repetitive; I would personally add "either" at the end of the sentence, but you can ignore this if it doesn't bug you.

11. “Almost two years ago I guess.”

- comma after "ago"

12. “You and Hadley… are agents from Unita….”

- there's an extra . at the end of the sentence

13. “Ah, looks like that Kavalli rage is coming out finally.” Szander taunted, quelling my anger in fractions.

- "...finally." => "...finally,"

14. Of course we wouldn’t do that before exposing everything we’ve learned about Virgil Spence.

- comma after "Of course"

15. It doesn’t matter much to Chyunda because he’s their Infiltrator, and he was just doing his job Infiltrating Unita.

- question: is there a special reason the word "Infiltrator/-ing" had its I capitalized both times in this sentence?

16. “Yes master….”

- comma after "Yes"
- there's an extra . at the end of the sentence

17. Of course she would be finishing the job.

- comma after "Of course"

18. She smiled, and wondered for a moment how people could be so cruel, so as to smile so casually while upending another’s life.

- seems like you're missing an "I" between "and" and "wondered"

19. I considered tracking Big Dan down first, and offering Jade’s graphemes knife in exchange to open up the gun, but the reality of the situation weighed against me.

- graphemes => graphene?

20. “What is that smell…” I mumbled aloud, and looked around the room for signs of life.

- tip: you can do this: "What is that smell...?" I mumbled...

21. The top magazine displayed a breathtaking holofoil image of the Unita mountains, and a title that projected the words ‘Centros Captures’.

- 'Centros Captures'. => 'Centros Captures.'
- Hmm... I can kind of sense that that mountain is semi-important since you pointed it out twice, but was Erk in the mood to care if the mountains were breathtaking or not?

22. And what is that smell. I asked myself, this time keeping my thoughts in my head.

- I think you meant to write, "And what is that smell? (italics) I asked myself... (normal)"

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Other observations:

- No action scenes to talk about here, but you are getting better at dialogue punctuation. I'm sure you'll get it right by the next chapter or so.

Looking forward to chapter 7!