Trackmania: A New Sunrise

Just a short little oneshot I did based off of the Trackmania racing videogame series....Trackmania 1.5, if you will. If this gets a lot of hits *shrug* I may expand it...I might not. Either way, enjoy!

            “Suit up, kid!” the mechanic barked. “This is your second season, so you know the rules; speed, speed, and more speed.”

            I chuckled as I slipped my helmet over my head. “Sure thing, Sparky.” I climbed into my car, a black and orange high-performance sports car that was reminiscent of a Lamborghini Diablo, but this car would even leave an Indy car in the dust. With a top speed of over seven hundred kp/h, and unlimited top speed on a boost strip, the only resemblance this car bore to an old Lamborghini was superficial. I peered up out of my car as a shadow swept over me.

            “Hey, kid,” said Phil, professional driver and three time champion of the Circuit.

            “Hey, Phil,” I replied, a slight smirk on my face. “What’s up?”

            “Just wanted to wish you good luck, kid,” Phil said. “And I wanted to tell you to be careful. Don’t get cocky. Good drivers have been killed in these new tracks. The Administration’s thinking about pulling these tracks and going back to the originals. They’re safer.”

            I sighed shaking my head. “Neither the drivers or the fans will allow it. They’ve seen the practice runs…they blow the originals out of the water by miles. Once the Administration sees the fan’s reactions to this season, there’s no way they’ll go back.”

            “I hope you’re right, kid,” Phil replied.

            “I know it,” I replied. I peered out of my car, looking down the track. “It’s a beautiful sunrise, isn’t it?”

            Phil smirked, laughing. “Yeah, kid. See you at the finish line.”

            “See you at the line, man,” I replied. I pulled my car out of the lane and cruised up to the starting line. I revved my engine a few times, smirking as the familiar roar greeted my ears. I looked down at my dashboard, nodding slowly. ‘Everything’s green,’ I thought. ‘Time to rock!’ I looked back up, watching the lights above the track, waiting for the green. The last car pulled into its place, and the countdown began. ‘5…4…3…2…1…go!’

 

Author's Note

Anything and everything goes! You think it's great, let's hear it! You think it sucks...I wanna hear that too...just lemme know why so I can improve, thanks!

Reviews

[Kevin Vorshak]

I have to side with Meredith. Definitely an overuse of 'kid' in this story. You do seem to have a talent for writing, though. It would be interesting to see other stuff.

[Belator Books]

Greetings; I found your post on Tips for Writers. I am not a fan of first-person perspective stories, but that said I must point out that you write with a refreshing simplicity. My only somewhat 'negative' remark is the over-use of "Kid", as in Paul saying it a little too often. Since they are the only persons in the scene, the reader can surmise to whom Paul is speaking without having to re-enforce it so much. I look for ward to reading more.

Cheers,

MG