Simple.

I'm tired of maybe

"What if all we had to do to die was write a letter to God."
"I wish it was that simple."
"Yeah, that would be nice."
"We kind of already do."
"What do you mean?"
"We write suicide letters instead, maybe to God, or whoever you see as God - but to a God nevertheless."
"I'm sure it works the same."
"I hope it works the same."
"Have you ever tried it?"
"What?"
"Gosh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that huh."
"Yeah, you shouldn't have, but you did."
"Well, I just figured that you have. You seem like the kind of person who has, or at least that's what I've heard people say."
"Bullshit."
"I'm sorry?"
"Bullshit. That's all bullshit. Who gives a f**k if I have or not? I sure as hell don't. I don't get why everyone cares so much. Everything we have is temporary. Everything we do will not matter, as if it even does now. Nothing we do will leave an impact on anything. Also I don't think anyone has the right to care about my life if I don't. So yeah, it's all bullshit."
"You didn't answer my question."
"Good God."
"Please."
"F**k, fine. Yes. Yes I have written suicide letters. I've written them so many f*****g times that I don't know if I could feel any different from what I feel now. I've written them to God, my mom, my sister, you. I'm so f*****g terrified that one day I'll be having a really good day and I'll just kill myself because I can, or maybe because I get bored. I'm scared because nothing makes me want to live anymore. Nothing inspires me to want to do the things I love, or to be productive. And I'm so scared because everytime I think of the future I can't see myself living past 25. They say that you're exactly where you're supposed to be but if this is all I've got I'm positive I'm not going to live much longer. Who knows if I'll even make it to 25, I'm not so sure of that anymore. Everything hurts more than it did. But you know what - the future scares me the most. What if I make it past 25? This doesn't make any since. I have to go."
"Wait."
"No."