Yet again

Just something I thought up while being bored.

I find myself lost.

I find myself broken.

Yet again...

I feel alone. 

I see only myself standing here.

Staring into the paralice night, unable to face this world on my own.

Yet again...

I am black and empty inside.

I wither and cry. 

Tears shed in arduous silence, where everything seems irretrievable.

Yet again...

I promise myself I'll stop.

Swear this will be the end.

But tomorrow is but a moving shadow, untouchable by my weak, trembling hands.

So yet again...

I sit here.

I delve into someone else's fantasies. 

Because my light has faded, my dreams have ended.

Though I cling to the hope of another day. One brighter, something more. 

Only it is but a frail piece compared to the doubt regulating the excess of my mind.

Author's Note

Not that great at poetry but I try. :)

Reviews

[Corset]

There is such an overwhelming hopelessness in this write, until we get to the last stanza then a flicker, very powerful feeling of clinging to hope in just one line, something more, which is obvious, because it's there, it's a great piece of dark poetry grasping for life. Conveyed with strength, loved the use of vocabulary, not sure about paralice is that meant to be paralyze?

[Ana Drake]

Lol, yeah, I didn't notice that. Thankx.
And thank-you for your input, I was really down that day :P

[Corset]

my pleasure, hope you are feeling much better now :)

[Ana Drake]

At times, when I'm writing. But a little sadness doesn't scare me, I know the bad just makes the good better :)

[Holly Mason]

truly good words
powerful write
thank you for sharing

[Danielle]

I have to disagree with you about not being that great at poetry. This piece shows promise, it shows raw emotion and that is always what the best poems are made of!

[Ana Drake]

Aw, thankx shia. :-P

[Danielle]

You are very welcome, keep at it

[An owl on the moon]

Such a mingling of light and shadows... the sadness of living and the hopes for that taste of joy... Sometimes fantasy... dreams... it's all we have to keep us breathing.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

This reads to me as a deep helpless form of depression. You have done well in creating this piece.

[Ana Drake]

Thank-you

[kelvin]

good writing i take it as you're grasping for the light dying to get your head above the water clinging for something better but its so hard to get there i don't know bout that statement that you're not that good at poetry. dark but a good piece of writing. as always keep writing fellow writer

[Ana Drake]

:) Thankx a lot.

[cloud]

I can empathize with your feelings. I too was once in a very dark place I didn't want to be. I wanted to feel happy but there was something in me that wouldn't let me. It was a persistent block that wouldn't release its hold.

Somehow in time I learned to let go, to not focus so much on it and to learn to find a quiet place inside. This may or may not work for others but it is all I have to offer. Wonderful penning.

[quinfinn]

"tears shed in arduous silence".....don't tell me you're not great at poetry with lines like this! this poem is a gem. well done!

[Ana Drake]

Lol, I guess. I just like to keep my feet on the ground. But thankx alot :)

[quinfinn]

you can explore the universe with your mind while keeping your feet on the ground...we (writers) do it all the time!

[Ana Drake]

Lol, agreed. Thank you for the advice, I remember that the next time I write :)

[Bluefire]

I love the word choice of this poem, it is trully amazing. Nice write! ^^

[Ana Drake]

Thankx, but it wasn't really a choice, I was sleep deprived and only writing to keep my brain distracted. I don't even remember writing most of it ,lol.

[Bluefire]

Lol, amazing what the human mind can do when tired and left on its own. That's how I write most of my poems, they just come to me when I'm sleepy xD

[Ana Drake]

Awesome :)
Sometimes that's when my creativity is at its best.

[Bluefire]

Mine too :3

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

Amazing! It is inspiring, my little dragon. It reflects some well-polished, if dark, thoughts of a condition that is common to many. It is the recognition of that common condition that provides the straw from whence you spin this lustrous fabric. I leave two golden coins and hurry back to my seclusion. There, I unfold and admire it again and again. I see the inspiration... the hope:

OUTSIDE
"Somewhere a little kitten is mewing plaintively. Somewhere a scruffy, little dog sits shivering in an unnaturally dark abandonment; currently ignored by the cold-hearted and uncaring it hears the little kitten and is drawn toward it. The kitten, too young to be afraid, comes toward it and huddles close. Together they find a warmth of companionship that ignores the animosity imposed by other species that wallow in their righteous indignity of the down-trodden and less fortunate.

INSIDE
A small noise creeps in through the thin, paper-stuffed window cracks. Her mind pauses at the embroidery of her life; stops joining her little scraps of self-doubt and remorse into that garment of rejection. Arising and walking to the door, she opens it and sees the two at her feet, trembling, too weak to fear further harshness. Imbued with an long unused sense of selfless compassion she scoops them up into her trembling arms and shutting the door behind her turns toward a warmth of peace and hope that surpasses her understanding. It is dark outside. But not so dark as before. Not this night... nor evermore."