Caving and Craving

I can't keep this up

This pain overflows my cup

The pieces are too small for pickup

I can't find another way to buildup

I'm shattered like an old picture

Facing everyone's stricture

Facing dreams of you every night

This life has become a blight

Each day I'm trying to fight

But nothing can return my light

I drown myself in life's delights

Gaming, music, and high proof rum

None of it ends the thrum

Each task I just feel more dumb

Stuck in an endless maze searching for a little crumb

You're still there in my head

The things you did, the words you said

I try to silence but they grow instead

To be free I'd have to be dead

I dream of you in every nature

Happy, angry, sad, my sinking glacier

Then all over again I begin to crave

Over again I become your slave

Begging for your gaze, your touch, even a wave

I feel your presence like a sharpened glaive

Holding me here whilst pushing me to my grave

I can't take this anymore, this broken pain

Yet I can't get free from this heavy chain

I swear I know I'll never attain

Your love, your touch, your fiery mane

If only this could ever end

If only I could finally mend

If only I could finally ascend

Break the curse and stop this trend

Yet still I sit, holding this hopeful balloon

Hoping one day I'll again see my moon

Looking like an immense buffoon

Maybe I'll just stay in my cocoon

I'll return to the past

Let the shadows remain cast

Return my eyes to glassed

My life as the quiet outcast

I'll return to a shell

Just a hollow bone cell

Keep quiet about my silent hell

And just quietly wait for some victory bell

I won't come, I know, but the hope will still dwell

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Interesting rhyme scheme in this one; makes me wonder if the poet posted them as separate stanzas, upon which the site, as is its occasional inclination, crammed them altogether. Whatever, the piece describes the feelings of one who has loved too hard and too deeply, and is now languishing in the throes of abandonment. Sometimes, alas, love becomes dependency.