Endless thoughts

I almost snuck away early this morn
Leaving everything behind but a dried rose
On my own and all alone
Venturing the quiet roads
Entranced in thoughts of romantic actions
Your doorstep my destination
Over the bumps and across the streets
Upon your door I wished to lay
No one would've seen a thing
Only the rose by your door
When mornings first rays would come about
And bring about another day
Not the smartest thing to do
Dive into the night just to bug you
Although I wouldnt, I'd just leave the rose
Leave it there to show I care, show I'm still here
What held me back then?
As always fear
You don't want me near, not now
So I sit, I wait, I keep my routine
I watch the street everywhere I go
Waiting just to see you so I know you are well
I keep my distance, though I hate it
Still seeing you as my home
Homesickness eats away at me
I still push on, planning
Checking off a list slowly yet surly
Only hoping it can fix my mistakes
Until the last box is checked
Loss fills my brain
Did I ever tell you that I hate chess?
Finding strategy to overtake your opponent
It just feels so hard and pointless
Xenomorphs had the right idea
Take everyone out, let none survive
However, I dont think that can apply
I can't just unleash some alien to wipe away my troubles
So instead I must make do with this game of chess
I sit here, keeping myself on a leash
Waiting and playing
Impatiently hoping
Somehow I reach the finish soon
Hopefully my luck turns
You'll be there with open arms
Only I can't think that
Upon those thoughts I cannot falter
Keeping my head up requires focus
Never giving up requires hope, though
Everytime I try to hope
With you is where it always settles
Thoughts of maybe I should've gone
Hopes that following you would've made things right
Even though I know better
That following you would've been bad
Had I walked out to try to talk
I would've just been pushed again
Nudged away and told to go
Getting left to my thoughts once again
Stranded in a sea of uncertainty
I don't understand what's in your mind
That's what troubles me most
Having to wonder what it meant, what you think
I toss and turn hoping you're doing well
Nothing makes me sleep anymore
Keep thinking of how tos and what ifs
Everyday I have these cheesy thoughts
Visions professing love yet keeping distance
Everyone I try to accept your boundaries
Realization hits that I can't do anything
You need your space, you need me away
Day by day I look at my list of new goals
A mental note to try to get better
Yet still everything involves you...but it's not for you

Reviews

[Michael Leon Wilson]

Nice write, intrinsic story line, message, the ending resolute and thought provoking