Stuck in My Head

You won't leave me be
I try so hard to ignore it
You still invade my sleep
You left a hole no one can fit
I see your face in every blink
I hear your voice with every action I take
My thoughts are no longer mine to think
It's all you guiding me for my own sake
I tell myself to take care
I follow what I need to do
And yet it's you that's always there
If only you had any clue
I can't be like this
I need to rise
A Phoenix born from the ash of your kiss
I need to soar above these grey skies
Yet no matter how far I try
A leash still holds me onto hope
I've yet again donned my mask
To hide that to this leash I grope
I still hold my head high, it is my task
I quietly and secretly plead the gods
Show me a sign or make me forget
I beg and pray to beat the odds
To hold less of these regrets
Yet still in my head it's you
Over and over telling me again
Take your meds
Drink water
Dont forget to eat
You're beautiful
I love you
NO!
MAKE IT END!
It's not coming back
There is no make amends
It's the end of the f*****g track
So why?
Why do you still echo?
Why do you still run through my thoughts?
Why do I still wait for just one more touch?
One more look?
One more kiss?
What would make me think I deserve that bliss?
I'm sorry.