The Sunset - Visual Poem (Rough Draft)

The Sunset - Visual Poem (Rough Draft)

A Poem by The StoryTeller
"

Wrote this for school, have to post the final draft later. I don't know what to change, but eh. Hope you like this. :) The image for this is the one I used to make this visual poem.

"

The skies are as red as blood.

The oceans are crystal clear.

A painter has taken his brush across the sky.

A glass blower reflected the sky in his crystalline sea.


Is it a mirage to the thirsty lost desert goer?

A sign of the ending of life to a philosopher?

An acknowledgement of the coming of night to an astrologer?

A landscape of beauty to the sailor?


Is it a sign of the end times to the religious?

A sign of war to the soldier?

A symbol of anger to the angry?

A symbol of love to the girl in love?


Is it positive?

Is it negative?

Is it a symbol of good things to come, of sun?

Is it a symbol of bad things to come, of thunderclouds and rain?


Is it a symbol of emotion?

Of thoughts?

Of actions?

Or is it just a sunset?


Does it show us the strife of life?

Or does it show us the beauty of it?

Does it show us the pain in the world?

Or does it show us the happiness and bliss?


The sunset means so much to so many.

It's stark bold contrasting beautiful colors...

All mean something else.

The sunset is beautiful, that is why so many artists of different types attempt to portray it.


The sunset means so much to so many.

It's stark bold contrasting ugly colors...

All mean something else.

The sunset is ugly, that it reminds us of the pain and the burnt clouds of war.


What does the sunset mean to you?

What does the sunset mean?

Is it hot or is it cool?

Is it the epitome of happiness or pain?


What does the sunset mean to me?

How does it make me feel?

What does it symbolize?

What music does it go with together in my soul?


The sunset means so much to me.

The sunset means death and rebirth.

The sunset means pain and rain.

The sunset means happiness and love.


The sunset means so much to me.

The sunset means acceptance and forgiveness and being myself.

The sunset means hiding from me, hiding from the light, means hate and bitterness.

The sunset means so much to me.


What does the sunset mean to me?

How does it make me feel?

What does it symbolize?

What music does it go with together in my soul?


The sunset makes me feel so much.

The sunset makes me feel emotions.

The sunset makes me feel alive.

The sunset makes me feel dead.


The sunset makes me feel so much.

The sunset is my soul.

All the pain, the suffering, the happiness, the strength... it's all of it mixed in one horrible beautiful picture.

The sunset makes me feel so much.


What does the sunset mean to me?

How does it make me feel?

What does it symbolize?

What music does it go with together in my soul?


The sunset symbolizes so much.

The cycle of life and death.

The inner parts of me and my soul.

All of my emotions.


The sunset symbolizes so much.

It symbolizes everything.

All of it: past, present, future.

The sunset symbolizes so much.


What does the sunset mean to me?

How does it make me feel?

What does it symbolize?

What music does it go with together in my soul?


The sunset speaks to every tune in my heart,

Every feeling in my soul.


What does the sunset mean to you?

What dos the sunset mean?

Is it hot or is it cool?

Is it the epitome of happiness or pain?


What does the sunset mean to you?

How does it make you feel?

What does it symbolize?

What music does it go together with in your soul?


This innocence is brilliant.

I hope it will stay.

This moment is so perfect.

I hope it's here to stay.


Don't leave.

I'm not being naïve.

The sunset symbolizes all in the world, the beginning and the end, everything.

The sunset is day-to-day, century to century... in this moment so fleeting but here in infinity.


The sunset is the true meaning of everything.

The sunset is nothing at all.

The sunset is just the sunset, nothing more.

But the sunset is so much more: the sunset is life.

© 2015 The StoryTeller


Author's Note

The StoryTeller
25 stanzas, most 4 lines, a few 2.... whew, that was a biggie. I had to make a long one for class, but still. Tell me what you think, how you think I can improve this for my Final Draft. Also, let it not be lost on you that I completely broke away from my conformity in my stanzas with that last line or in that line of 2 where I talked about the music it went together with in my soul, how it had a comma instead of a period. Anyways, tell me what you think, how I can improve, how I can make a better (will be Final Draft) one for school grading, and the usual stuff. Also any weird quirks you want to tell me. :P

My Review

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Reviews

To be honest I think this poem is beautiful and should not need to be changed in any way. Very unique and descriptive.
Love it!

Posted 9 Years Ago


The repetion is somehow boring! But the message; it's thrilling! As per my own take!

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your opinion! Yes, I don't like the repition myself, but as it was for school, I had t.. read more
Beautifully written ! I really enjoyed reading this :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)
I liked the poem. I like the repetition and the thoughts create by the words. I like poetry that ask questions. This poem does. Thank you fro sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it and it made you think. :)
Coyote Poetry

9 Years Ago

You are welcome.
The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

......... :D
Quite interesting and a long poem too :-) ...honestly I'd shortened it a bit since the repetitions have similar feel to it ( or leave it the way it is ) ... since I am not a poet or an expert on poetry , sorry if my input sound ridiculous .

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

No, no problem, thank you for your review! It had to kind of be long as this one was for school. :P
Lovely poem nice work...... =)

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Thank you Salmon, although I'm not sure which is better - this one or the second one...
Ov3R_sKiLl3D

9 Years Ago

i think this one is much better :)
The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Lol, okay. :P
"A glass blower reflected the sky in his crystalline sea." - Just Wow my friend.

"A landscape of beauty to the sailor?" - in keeping with the rest of the verse I suggest maybe using 'headland' instead of landscape - I think that landscape is to a painter what a headland (Land Ahoy !!), is to a sailor.

The repetition of the 'refrain' gives that lyrical quality to the write.

"The sunset is day-to-day, century to century... in this moment so fleeting but here in infinity." - BAM ! again here Res.

This was engaging despite the size - Im glad I stuck in there - some gems - some real gems.
Thanks for the RR my friend




Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Lol, thank you, yes I had a little trouble sticking in there and writing it. It had to be longer, bu.. read more
ANTO

9 Years Ago

Writing this would have been a tortuous effort for me - so kudos Res.
The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Yeah, it was halfway for me... XD Anyways, thanks for reading, and thanks for the kudos.
The many shades of sunset bring out the many shades of us!
It brings out the love in me.
And sometimes, it's just an orange ball. :P
Nicely done!

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Lol, thank you, and I completely agree, and that's what I was trying to capture, that it brings out .. read more
Ishita Dixit

9 Years Ago

You do that! :)
The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

.....I will :)
Lovely wording!!
Well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Thank you, do you have any ideas on how to change it to make it better for the Final Draft for schoo.. read more
Emily

9 Years Ago

To be honest, I can't think of anything.
The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

That's okay, I came up with some things to change... the other version is posted on here too. :)
This poem is simply beautiful Blade, (Going to my favorites!)
What I great poem you have here and the questions gave it a nice touch to it!
A very good poem, Its interesting and good! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad you noticed that, that was kind of the point, to interest you and.. read more
Lizardo

9 Years Ago

Hmm, why not add more questions?
The StoryTeller

9 Years Ago

Mmmm k, I'll try to do that, and I'll do it in metaphors like the first stanza probably. You'll see .. read more

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Added on February 2, 2015
Last Updated on February 3, 2015

Author

The StoryTeller
The StoryTeller

The place of life and happiness., OH



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I'm changing my name from The Resilient One to The Storyteller and trying to start fresh... believing in myself, believing in others, making this new personality I want to have... I guess I was alread.. more..

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