Untitled II

 Sleep calls back,
an eye agrees;
the summers relief pours,
the music; play on.

A dream awaits,
my slumber;
and the wake mind,
fears tomorrow.

Slowly rise-
touch it with your shadows.
Serene.

Life is not what it seems,
the mind believes;
youth plays games,
the dreams; go on.

My forerunners hopes long for,
my struggle;
and my jumped mood,
thinks too much.

Go down-
wait there.
Silent.

Footprints in the sand,
are stamped again;
while the drops tug; among,
the same vessel.

Reviews

[Ms. Gruye]

your writing style is sparse, but not too much. you use your words sparingly, as if each one costs you a price beyond currency. the result is very effective and straight forward. I cannot tell you my favorite lines because this whole piece works together, I am unable to let any line live on it's own.

what a tremendous talent you possess.

[abby2011]

i think you iterate too much here. you tell us what you want us to know by being direct and yet it is in your simplicity and directives (descriptions of emotions) in which we gauge that anyway.

its good no doubt

but less is more.

you have all the intensity and feeling. it IS visible. i think you're worried it's not

[Helen Crutchett]

Wow, beautiful write, obviously from a poet who knows his craft. Bravo!

[Goodbye]

I love your style and imagery, Vivek! So beautiful, so painful, and I think that anyone whose wrestled with feelings, existence and its meaning can connect with your writing.

So very well-done.

[Sabista Khan]

I must say, you do have a flair for words. Your poems possess a melancholy feeling that is really touching..

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

your writing style is abtractly inticing. Your words cry pain and longing. Again your words deserve a title. I use to live my poems untitled and realize they just become numbers in a pile.

[Sarah McConnaughey]

This is very beautifully written. I really like your way of writing poems. Great job. :)

[nono]

This is interesting, and haunting in a good way. It's beautifully written and very descriptive. You captured the emotions nicely good job!

[Ice QueenJen]

This was an usual way of writing, like you combined lots of poems or thoughts into one poem. Like when your asleep your subconscience floats from thought to thought of what went on that day. I do like it and this piece makes a person stop and think, what is to come when finally waking up.

good job again!