THIRTEEN - Rhoswen

Rhoswen travels through the Outskirts, revealing a sinister plot.

Rhoswen approached the main gate into the city.  Now that Phineas had his son back, it was cause for a celebration.  Unfortunately, they didn’t have anything to celebrate with.  If she could get into the city, she would be able to trade certain services for a celebratory meal.

Unfortunately, the guard wasn’t the man she was used to seeing.  Where is Cassian?  She approached the gate hesitantly, and the guard on the other side stood perfectly still.  She waved a hand to get the man’s attention, but he still didn’t move.

“Hello, sorry, where is Cassian?”

The guard turned his head towards her the smallest amount.  “He was murdered this morning.  His killer was the woman we exiled today.”

How could I not have heard?  If I had known, I may have attended the Ceremony.  She had never been all that fond of the man, but he had been generally nice to her, and that was something she always appreciated.  Most men just used her once and threw her away.

“Oh.  I’m very sorry to hear that,” she said.  The guard turned away from her again, standing perfectly still.  “Well, can you let me inside?  I just need to�"”

“No,” the guard said, without hesitation.

“But you didn’t even hear what I have to say.  If you’d just let me explain why I have to come inside, I think�"”

“I’m to let absolutely no one through the gate until the King personally tells me it’s okay.  Two Ceremonies in one day has him a little on edge, especially since both offenders were sneaking into the city.”

“I’m not here to hurt anyone.  I’m just trying to get some food for my friend.”

“And what do you have to trade for it?  I don’t see anything on you of any value.  No one is going to trade you any food if you don’t offer them something in return.”

She swallowed hard, trying not to be offended.  For all I know, he doesn’t know what he’s saying.  She lowered her voice and spoke softly.  “Not all things of value are objects.”  She looked up at him with a coy smile.  “You know, if you let me through this gate, maybe I can help you out as well.”  She reached a hand towards him through the gate, but he swatted it away.  She recoiled, the slap had done more than just physical damage.

“I’m not going to get myself executed for something so fleeting.  My life has more value to me than anything you could offer me.  Return to your home and tell everyone that no one is getting into the city today, so there’s no point in coming to ask.”

“What if someone were starving?” she asked.  “Would you let them in then?”

“That’s not my problem.  My job is to guard the gate.”

“You’re a heartless piece of s**t, you know that?”

“And you’re a lowlife skin peddler.  And the gate still isn’t opening.”

She could see there was no point in continuing to argue.  Phineas and his son would have to go without food for celebration.  Hopefully the hunt will return with enough for everyone and we can celebrate then.

Instead of heading home, she made her way back towards Phineas’s tent.  If she couldn’t get him the food she promised, at least she could help him celebrate the return of his child with her company.  She walked through the mass of tents.  People were sleeping or preparing to sleep.  It wasn’t all that close to curfew, but being awake only reminded people how bad things were.

The rallying against the city had calmed, if not entirely stopped.  There were still people gathered, she could tell by the light from their torches, but they were no longer shouting in frustration.  There’s only so long you can be angry before you wear yourself out.  Eventually you just have to accept the way things are.

“Rhoswen,” a voice called out.  She turned to see who called her.  A man was approaching in the darkness.  “Are you busy?”  The man walked past the light of a torch which illuminated his face.  It was Aron, a man who frequented her tent during many curfews.

“Hello, Aron,” she said softly.  He was a little older than she was and had lived alone in the Outskirts for a very long time.

“I just saw you walking by and I wondered if you were busy tonight.  You know, the Hunt heads out tomorrow and I don’t know how long we’ll be gone.”

“That’s a very tempting offer,” Rhoswen said.  He’s loved me since our first time together.  I see it every time I look into his eyes.  It was a nice feeling, which is probably why she let him come to her so often.  “Unfortunately I’m going to be with Phineas tonight.”

“Oh,” he said.  He was visibly hurt by this, but was trying desperately not to show it.  “That’s fine.  I just… I’ll take care of myself then.  Not a problem.”

She looked at his pitiful, wounded face and couldn’t help but feel a little bad for the man.  I suppose I could help him right now, before going to meet with Phineas… but I shouldn’t.

“I’ll make you a deal.  I can’t be with you tonight, but I promise as soon as you get back, I’m yours for the entirety of that curfew, and the next three.”

He seemed pleased by the offer.  “Okay!”  He smiled, revealing a few missing teeth.  That wasn’t uncommon amongst people in the Outskirts, but was surprisingly rare for people who lived inside the city.  I wonder what they do differently to keep their teeth looking so much nicer than ours.  It was something she thought about every time she kissed the mouth of a man inside the city walls.  There was just something strange about it.

“Go on,” she said.  “You’re going to need to get some rest if you want to make it until you get back.”

“Good idea,” he said, grinning sheepishly.  “I’ll see you when I get back!”  He turned and walked off, Rhoswen watching until he disappeared in the darkness.

As soon as he was out of sight, she turned to continue on her way and bumped directly into a very tall man she didn’t know.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, trying to walk past, but the man grabbed her wrist and held tight.

“Why’d you have to go and hurt that poor man’s feelings?” the stranger said to her.  He leaned in close.  “Some people might say that’s cause for a punishment.”

“Let go of me,” she said.

“Maybe if he were more like me, he wouldn’t have to beg you for it.”  He pulled her close to him.  His breath was putrid; if there were anything in her stomach, she would have puked it up.

She tried to pull her arm free, but the man’s grip was firm.  Luckily, her other arm was free.  She reached directly between the man’s legs and grabbed hard.  The man’s eyes opened wide and his grip loosened.  Hers grew tighter, and she pulled the man to his knees.  “Maybe if you were more like him, you wouldn’t have to take it from people.”  She gave another hard squeeze and the man collapsed onto his back, groaning in agony.

She stepped over his body and continued on her way.  People tried to use or abuse her more times than she cared to count, but she learned early that as long as she stayed strong, she didn’t have to submit to anyone.  Nobody had taken anything from her that she hadn’t freely given since she was a young girl.  And I aim to keep it that way.

She arrived back at Phineas’s tent and crawled inside.  He was curled up beside his son, smiling brightly.

“I’m sorry,” she said.  “The guard wouldn’t let me into the city, so I couldn’t get anything for you to eat.”

“That’s fine,” he said.  “I’m just happy he’s back.  I was so worried about him.  I thought for sure he was dead.”  Phineas gently stroked the few wisps of hair on his son’s head.  The boy was sleeping peacefully.

“I’ll take good care of him while you’re on the hunt,” she said.  “You don’t have to worry about him then.”

“I know you will.  You always do.  You take such good care of everyone.”

She smiled.  “No, I don’t.  I try, but there’s so much more I could do…”

“You take better care of everyone in the Outskirts than any person out here takes care of himself or his own family.  You’re the best person I know.  Probably the best person in the whole city.”

“That’s nice of you to say.”

“I only say it because it’s true.”

“If I’m so good, then why is everyone out here suffering so much?  Shouldn’t I be able to help them?”

“You’re only one person.  You can’t save everyone.”

“I can try.”

“When do you get to do something to help yourself?  You spend all your time trying to make sure everyone else is happy… when does Rhoswen get to be happy?”

“I am happy.”

“You’re lying to yourself.”

“When I’m with someone, when I’m making someone feel better, or when I’m taking care of the children during a hunt… that’s when I’m happy.  That’s when I feel like I have a purpose.  I don’t have a lot to offer people, but I do what I can with what I do have.  And I make other people happy.  What’s wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.  But there has to be more for you than that.  You should be able to do something for yourself.”

“Why isn’t that enough?  I like helping people.  That’s as much for me as it is for anyone else.”

“If you say so.  But I can tell you aren’t happy.”

“Nobody is happy.  Why should I have any right to be happy when there are people starving to death every single day, right outside my tent?”

“I’m sorry.  I just meant�"”

“None of us gets to be happy.  Not until things are better for everyone.  So I’m going to keep working to make sure that happens.  Until then, I don’t have time to be happy.”

Phineas looked away and returned to stroking his son’s head.  “I didn’t mean any offense.  Thank you for looking after my son while I’m gone.”

“You’re welcome.  And I’m sorry… you have every right to be happy right now.  Your son is back, and he’s alive, and everything is going to be okay for you now.  You’re allowed to enjoy it.”

“I know.  And remember… things are going to get better.  Silvan is on our side, he said so himself.  He’s going to make sure things are equal from now on.  He’s going to use his influence with the King to make things better for all of us.”

Silvan.  He’s the one hope this city has of coming out of the darkness.  I hope he knows what he’s doing.