NINE - Xanthus VIII

Xanthus tries to console his daughter after the traumatic day.

Until Silvan and the rest of the King’s Guard returned, Xanthus had no idea what damage the second Exiling Ceremony had caused.  For now, the city was quiet.  People returned to their homes and bundled up in the cold.  I know they’re upset.  They’d have to be crazy not to be, things have never been this bad.  Hopefully, if they’re planning something, they won’t do it until after I’ve had time to meet with my council and come up with a solution.

His thoughts drifted to his conversation with Atherton.  The boy from the Outskirts.  If a young boy with no parents blames me for everything that’s wrong with the city, I can only imagine what people with actual information think of me… Maybe he’s right.  Maybe I am a terrible ruler.  There isn’t enough food to go around, we haven’t had any new supplies come back since before my father died…  If I’d done something sooner, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.  He stopped himself.  Thinking that way would do him no good.

He came to a stop outside his Chambers.  It was time to inform Xanthia of everything he had done today.  He reached out his hand to open the door but hesitated.  This conversation wasn’t going to end well.

He took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped into the room.  Xanthia was lying across the sheets with a plate of food.

“You aren’t even trying to hide it from me anymore,” he said.

“Why should I bother?  It’s our food.  I should be able to eat it whenever I want.”

“We don’t have enough.  Even if we cut back, Willoughby says we aren’t going to last another month.”

“That’s them,” she said, pointing towards the balcony that overlooked the city.  “They won’t last the month.  But we can.”

“That’s not how it works.  We get a little more food, because we need to stay alive to make the decisions to keep the people safe.  But we can’t stuff our mouths whenever we feel like it.”

“You do things your way, and I’ll do them mine.  It’s worked for us so far.”

“You want to hear about doing things my way?  We have two new children to take care of.  Maybe save a little food for them.”

“Are they yours?”

“They are now.”

“You know what I’m asking.”

“I wouldn’t do that.  You may think I’m a monster but I wouldn’t sink that low.”

“So whose children are they?”

“I don’t know.  They’re from the Outskirts.  I exiled their older brother earlier.  He was all they had.”

“So?  You didn’t have to get involved.  Why didn’t you just assign a family to protect them?”

“Because those children never survive.  Families in the Outskirts can’t feed themselves, let alone someone else’s children.  It would be the same as condemning them to death.”

“You’ve done worse than that before.”

“It’s different now.”

Xanthia burst into laughter.  “You think protecting two babies will make you a better man?  It’s too late for that, Sir.  You’ve run this whole city into the ground and you’re only just realizing it.”

“You, too?  You think all of this is my fault?”

“I know it is.  It wasn’t bad enough you had to ruin the lives of everyone out there, now you’re endangering your own daughter.  You think she’ll be safe being raised side-by-side with these monsters from the Outskirts?  We might as well take in a Bareland Beast as her personal guard.”

“They’re infants.”

“Infants who will grow up to be disgusting, fowl creatures who will kill us and eat us to save themselves.  I won’t have anything to do with them.  If you want to take care of the wretched things, do it yourself.”

“If you even tried to take care of them they’d die in minutes.  I wouldn’t trust you anywhere near them if you were the last person left alive in Xantom.”

“How dare you!” she shouted.  “I’ve raised Cassiopeia, and she’s turned out great!”

“If you tended to these children twice as often as you tend to Cassiopeia, you’d still never see them.”

She threw her plate at him.  He ducked out of the way and the plate clattered onto the floor behind him.

“There was still food on that plate,” he said.

“Oops.”

“The food that was on that plate will be your next meal.  I don’t care if I have to scrape it off the ground myself.”

“You’re such a big, strong man, ordering your wife to eat food off the floor.  You don’t even see what’s right in front of you.  What do you think is going to happen when the people in the Outskirts find out you’re taking in their children?  They’re going to do everything in their power to make sure you take care of theirs, too.  They’ll commit crimes on purpose just to get Exiled and get their children into the castle!  You’ve done more harm trying to help than you ever did when you sat on your a*s all day.”

“Then they won’t find out.  Who’s going to tell them?  You?  I think you care a little too much about yourself and your own comfort to do something that stupid.  The children are staying with us, and that’s the last I’m going to say about it.”  He turned to leave the room, noticing the scraps of meat on the ground.  He kicked at them gently, letting a soft squish fill the room.  “Enjoy your dinner.”

She started to scream something after him, but he closed the door and hurried his pace down the hallway.  She wouldn’t try to follow.  Instead, he headed towards Cassiopeia’s bedroom.  I should really talk to her about what she saw this morning.  I’m sure she doesn’t understand.  I certainly didn’t.  This morning was her first time witnessing an Exiling Ceremony.  He had made sure she was at the front lines as Quintessa was shoved into the Barelands.  She hadn’t taken it very well, and he hadn’t made her watch the second.  For six years, she had never fully understood what the four drumbeats meant, or why the city would sometimes erupt in angry cries shortly after.  Now she knew.

He pushed the door to her bedroom open gently and peered inside.  Cassiopeia sat on the floor, playing with a tiny princess doll.  Xanthus sat on the edge of her bed and ran his fingers through her hair.

“How are you, Pea?”

“Good.”  She whispered something into the toy’s ear.  “The drums happened again.  There was four.  Did someone have to go away forever?”

“Yes, we had a second Exile today.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I know.  I don’t like it either.  I wish we didn’t have to do it.  But when somebody breaks the rules, they have to be punished.”

She started to cry.  “If I break a rule will you make me go away forever?”

“No!  Never, Pea.  I love you too much!”

“Why don’t you love the people out there?”

Xanthus was taken aback.  Sometimes you forget how things look from the outside… how a child might view something you’ve known for so long you’ve accepted it for what it is.

“I do love them.  Sometimes loving someone means making a hard choice.  When you love everybody, it hurts when some of those people are mean to the other people.  And that’s when I have to make a choice that helps all of the other people that I love.  If anybody tried to hurt you, wouldn’t you want me to make them go away?”

She thought about it for a long time before answering plainly, “No.”

“What if somebody tried to hurt me?  Would you be okay with that?”

“No!  I don’t want anybody to be hurt!”

“That’s why I have to do it.  Some people are always going to try to hurt each other.  If I make the bad people go away, then nobody else has to get hurt.”

“If I do something bad do I have to go away?”

“Never.  You’re my daughter.  It’s my job to protect you.”

“You said your job is to protect everybody.”

“That’s right.  I did say that.”  She seems to have more wisdom in her six years than I do in my thirty.  She looked away from him, returning to playing with her doll.  “I have something else to tell you,” he said.  She kept playing without looking at him.  “You’re going to have a new brother and sister.”

She stopped playing and looked up at him.  She seemed confused.  “Mommy is broken.”

“Yes, that’s true, Mommy can’t have babies anymore.  But these aren’t going to be her babies.  The second person I Exiled today had a brother and sister, and now they don’t have anyone to take care of them.  So they’re going to join our family.  Isn’t that exciting?”

As soon as he said this, she started bawling.  “You stole them!  I don’t want you to go away forever!”

Maybe six years old was too early to show her the Exiling Ceremony.  I may have done permanent damage, and I have no idea how to fix this.  “I didn’t steal them!  They were all alone and they needed help.  Their brother asked me to take care of them.  This way they can have a happy life and a big sister.  Aren’t you excited to be a big sister?”

She stopped crying and seemed to ponder that for a minute.  Then she looked back at her doll and threw it across the room.

“Why did you do that?” Xanthus asked her.  He got up to retrieve the doll.  Just as he bent down to pick her up, Cassiopeia interrupted.

“You can’t get her,” she said.  “She broke the rules.”

Xanthus stood beside the doll.  “What rule did she break?  I didn’t see her do anything.”

“She lied.”

“What did she lie about?”

“She said me and her could be alone together forever with you and mom and nothing would ever change.”

“I thought you’d be happy about them.”

“I am happy about them.  But she broke the rules so she has to go away forever.  She can never come back.  It’s so new brother and sister can be safe.”

“That’s not how it works, Pea.  There are some rules you break where you have to go away forever.  If you hurt someone, or if you’re doing something that hurts someone, or if you’re planning to hurt someone, then you have to go away forever.  If you break other rules, you get a different punishment.  Lying doesn’t make you go away forever.”

“That’s why you get to still be here.”

Even coming from a six year old, that one stung.  What must she think of me to say something like that?  What lies has her mother been feeding her when I’m not around?  “I didn’t lie about anything, Pea.  What do you think I lied about?”

“You said hurting people makes you go away forever but the babies’ older brother didn’t hurt anybody and you made him go away.”

“He was stealing food.  When somebody doesn’t have any food, that hurts them.  He was making someone hurt.”

“But the man outside the door told me nobody has any food.”  She must be talking about Thaddeus or Vanderford.  They’re the ones who guard her door at night.  “But we still have food.  Did you steal all the food?”

“I didn’t steal it.”  But I understand how it might look that way.  This is probably how everybody in the city sees me… as the great thief.

She sniffled, unsure.  “So you don’t have to go away?”

“They can never send me away.  I’m their King.”

“Kings can’t go away?”

“Kings can’t go away.  And neither can princesses.  So here,” he said, handing her the doll back.  “She’s safe.”

Cassiopeia hugged the doll close.  “Thank you.”

“When the guards get back, do you want to play with your new brother and sister?  I don’t think they’ve had anyone to play with in a very long time.  I think they’ll be excited to meet you.”

“Okay!”  She smiled brightly.

Xanthus got up and kissed her on the forehead.  “I’ll come get you when they’re here.”

“Yay!”  She got up and started running in circles around the room.  Xanthus sighed and closed the door behind him.

She has no idea how profound her words were.  There’s no doubt about it… I have to do something, fast, if I want to save Xantom.

Xanthus was on his way to the Throne Room for a moment of solitude when he came across Willoughby.  The aging Healer walked slowly, hunched over from years of service.

“I was just coming to look for you, Sir,” Willoughby began.

“What is it?”

“Zultan and Castiel just returned from their mission in the Outskirts.  I have to ask you… are you sure this is the best idea?”

“What?  Taking in two homeless and helpless children?”

“Yes.  Forgive me, but… I don’t think it was the most… strategic decision you’ve made.”

“You sound like my wife.  Forgive me for having a heart.”

“I think it would be best if your heart focused on the bigger issues.  Like saving the city as a whole, instead of just a few of its citizens.  And these children weren’t even from the city!”

“I aim to save everyone.  As Healer of this city, I think you should aim to do the same.”

“I fully understand, Sir, I just think… if word gets out, it could cause a much larger problem than the one we’re currently facing, and�"”

“Then don’t let word get out.”  He sighed.  Even when I try to do something right I get scolded for it.  “Sometimes I wonder why I even try to lead this city.  Whatever decision I make ends up twisted and turned around and thrown back in my face.  I just let everyone fend for themselves, and see if they like that better.”

“It isn’t in your best interest to do that, either.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid, Willoughby.”

“I apologize, Sir, I meant no offense.”

“I know.  I’m just a little on edge right now.  The moment Silvan returns, bring everyone to the Throne Room.  We have a lot to discuss.”