Suicidal Thoughts

So, in my English class we are learning about Edgar Allan Poe and our job was to write a valentine to him, or from him to someone else or, well, you get the point... ENJOY!!

The light which you gave off has vanished forever

Leaving me in an eternal darkness

That slowly eats away at me

And drives me towards insanity

 

The loud silence shatters my eardrums

Screaming endlessly until my ears bleed profusely

Until I can no longer hear

The happiness I used to greedily indulge myself in

 

The dark loneliness that surrounds me

Laughs as my mind gradually disintegrates

Leaving me a drooling wretched mess

Imprudently wishing for the happy times to return

 

The steady thump-thump of my heart… it seems so fake

Instead the feel of my petrified heart being torn from my chest…

The hot and sticky scarlet liquid drowning me…

The stench of the decaying flesh from my deceased vessel… seems all too real

 

Death however enjoys eluding me

But doesn’t miss the chance to puree my insides until they gush

From the still open wounds

That Fate decided to carve unto me the day she struck

 

How long will Death tease me?

When will he finally cut my string?

How long will Fate torture me?

Will she ease those painful memories for me?

 

I must finally ask what good is it to prolong the pain and despair

By falling into that shallow sleep to greet you for only so long

When I can stay with you forever in an eternal slumber

Once the light scorches my flesh into oblivion

And the dark devours my tortured soul

Reviews

[RaccoonFox]

wonderful I really enjoyed reading this..

[Japanese Cherry]

Arigatou my good friend!

[RaccoonFox]

chur welcome :3

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but at some parts it seems to stop being a pastiche of Poe and start being a pastiche of Lovecraft. There's nothing wrong with that, but it is a little difficult to take seriously at any rate, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. You managed to express yourself well within the constraints you were given.

[Japanese Cherry]

I appriciate your review. Thank you very much

[UnknownUser]

great, i really like it and it seems you really put a lot of effort and thought on this! you're great!!!! keep it up...

[Japanese Cherry]

Thank you

[Invisible]

i've felt that way my self, good job.

[Japanese Cherry]

Arigato :)

[Invisible]

i'd use a japanese word in return but none come to mind at the moment, so, indeed.

[Japanese Cherry]

Haha no need to use japanese as well. Im just glad u took time to read this

[Invisible]

no prob

[durrya]

How long will Death tease me?
When will he finally cut my string?
How long will Fate torture me?
Will she ease those painful memories for me?

I must finally ask what good is it to prolong the pain and despair
By falling into that shallow sleep to greet you for only so long
When I can stay with you forever in an eternal slumber
Once the light scorches my flesh into oblivion
And the dark devours my tortured soul

Beautiful! I can feel the pain in each word. You did an amazing job! Liked.

[Japanese Cherry]

Wow! You replied quickly and I am completely thrilled that you loved it!!! Thanks for the wonderful review!!!

[durrya]

your poems are lovely!
thank you so much for the share.