Everlasting Evil

When all souls are forced into Hell because of a single mistake...

Screaming words all intertwined,
The last remnants of mankind.
Skies of fire and the flowing crimson lake,
All the cause of a single mistake.

 

Our time is over, our lives have passed

This evil had reached us all too fast.

They thought it was treasure left in that chest,
Not something that would send us all into eternal rest.

Not many know much of the dangers that were cast,

But it's far too late; it's in the past.

 

It hadn't been known that they'd cause such an error,

And bring to the world endless waves of terror.

Now it's over and already done,

This battle is something that cannot be won.

Each soul is cast into the flames,
Forevermore to play the Devil's games,
Everyone's fate will be the same.
The screaming terrors, the fiery path...
It is we who suffer under his wrath.

A lifetime of pain that none of us sought,
All we have done is now forever in naught.
Our minds are forced to reside in Hell,
There's nothing to say but; farewell.

Author's Note

I'm rather pleased with this piece - it came out better than some of my other work. All thoughts are welcome; whether you have something good to say or something bad. Simply be honest.

I've noticed some people had trouble creating a full picture; to explain thoroughly, the chest is, in some ways, similar Pandora's box. When Lucifer was cast down from Heaven, he left one object on Earth; the chest spoken of above. It contained a passage, so to speak, that when it opened, it would drag all of humanity down to hell to serve and suffer under his rule and punishment. It was his way of revenge.

Human's aren't perfect. Despite the chest being buried under rock and sand, the Devil knew that if it was ever uncovered, there'd be someone greedy enough to open it. One mistake, one false step and the world dies. We become extinct because of one man's sin.

Reviews

[GetTheHellOut]

Very well written. An awesome piece full of imagination. Great work.

[;]

I love this piece...This is the first piece I've read by you and it wants to makeme slap myself on the head for not being able to get here sooner! ;) The poem was real terror...And the way you described the feeling of having to do something or having to be forced into a situation when you did nothing...It was someone elses mistaake...That was Awesome...I'd just like to hear what the mistake was and who made it?? I thought it was God who made the mistake because he threw Lucifer (The Devil) out of Heaven do for that the Devil will take the ones he created to Hell with him to endure eternal torture.....Thanx for sharing!
You know me,
Mistress E!

[Voltaire Mephisto (aka ..]

Quite imaginative.

[Wolfwind Words]

This was really devilishly smooth! I liked it. It was incredibably visual and kept my mind imagining that descent into the fires. The color shift in the lines was a very subtle but wonderful touch.

Next existance, need to put a mister yuck sticker on that damned chest. Therefore people won't open it!

Great write!
Infinity's Shadow

[Joseph - Michael]

I'll say that it was really great reading. Just one slight problem; The last line; "Not much to do but wish ourselves well" I hate to say this, but it doesn't work well to go with your writing and it's not that great to end it like that, either. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that you can change it for better whenever you think it's the best or not. Hey, it's just me, so don't mind me...

On the other hand, the rest are really still great altho...