Happiness

I wrote this with a very chaotic mindset just because I wanted to write and did not get the flow quite well. Any thoughts and suggestions are welcome.

Happiness

As a kid I heard everyone say how good the world was

Thought the world was just and fair

I knew that there was a lot I had to learn

I just did not expect- the world to be so bare

As a kid, I saw people smile with joy

Happily whistling and hustling and bustling

As I grew older, I knew

That wasn't a smile, it was a mask barely hanging

The kid in me, who did not grow up

Looked around, searching for others like me

Then one day as I lay in wait, it happened

Reality struck me and it was no more a mystery

People are bad, they lie

They spread hate and advocate violence

This is what the innocent kid in me thought 

After a while I was innocent no more

However the world is such a vast and diverse place

Every person is not the same 

Some are good, some are kind

A few are understanding and some do not like fame

I will however not forget the moment

I thought I'd never see another smile

A genuine smile from someone's heart

I just hope happiness does not become a thing of history

Reviews

[Rebel]

Very well written. It describes the world perfectly.

[Bethsinitaly]

This sums up exactly what i feel nowadays when i look out at the world very well done!

[Amber Lily]

I think this is how a lot of us feel once we enter the adult world, and finally get to see and experience what made our parents tick. The world was truly a much better place when we were kids. Great work :)

[Ria Carol]

it has good substance in it...but it can structured better....but a wonderful concept you have chosen here :)

[BThomvanWart]

A very relatable, and consciously written piece. I think it's in everyone's lives where we learn that everything isn't exactly as it seems, so it's definitely a lesson we all learn - at least, those who are paying attention to others around us. Good read!

[andrew mitchell]

A topical piece for sure in a world now,that's leaning towards an inbalance.

[Carolynn]

Well done Sage - the world is all that but it's a blend of good and bad...if we strive to be on the good side, for the most part we find it and same goes with the bad side, you dwell on it and in it - you'll be a part of it. It's good to understand both sides and then make the choice you wish to live with :)

[Isabel]

Your piece has that "innocence lost" kind of vibe, which is pretty interesting. Although, I do think you could go further in terms of writing with this one. Nice work!

[Jacob Clifford]

I quite like these kind of story poems. This had a great, relevant concept. I like the evolution of character, though I suppose it's mandatory with age.

[Ebony]

I like the themes in the poems and the concept behind it, I just think the writing needs to tighten up a little! I see what you mean when you say it doesn't flow exactly, which I think can be corrected by your writing.