Who are you?

Losing someone can be a painful thing; especially if it's someone close. It is hard to move on with life without getting proper closure. It is worsened by the fact that most people forget who they are

Who Are You?

You used to be someone everyone knew

The memory of you is as fresh as morning dew

Now it’s all changed, faint like a distant star,

As the world moves on, it asks who you are

What is to be said

You chose a path that only you can tread

What is to be done

O’course, leave us all and go have fun

You are oblivious to the pain,

That hangs around like the clouds before the rain

All you used to think was fame,

Without any shame, you told ‘Think of all that we could gain!’

In the beginning you were a mere nobody

As time progressed you grew quite mighty

Always the difficult path you chose,

Whatever the crisis, above it you rose

You reached the peak,

Though everything looked bleak

You called me your friend, your crew

Even I did not know what you were going to do!

Laughed along the way,

As time flew away

I only wish I could take back,

The day everything went off track

Do I feel Sad? 

D****t! I should’ve gotten the cue

That’s just a word

What you went through was out of this world

You thought it was a load

A burden you did not want us to hold

Help? You should have just asked!

Now look how you are just in the past

You’re slowly starting to fade,

And maybe that’s how it works; fate

But no matter how distant or far

I’ll never forget who you are

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Im lucky as I have never yet had to deal with loss, well not with a person anyway I love animals and the animals in my family are family, my sister lost her darling Lexi, who is a cat by the way, not long ago. Was hard on us all and its still hard we really miss her she was quite a cat. Anyway sorry for rambling on but yer thats the closest thing I have had to a loss.
This poem is really good, then again all your work is.
It was deep, emotional, meaningful, soulful, and written from your heart.
Im sure plenty people can relate to this, loss is a hard thing to deal with, and a popular subject people write about.
Great write as always :)

[Sage]

Thank you cimmy. This means a great deal to me!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Your welcome anytime. Im glad :)

[Ellen Kolman]

It is so tough to stand by helpless while someone you love either drifts away or shoots themselves in the foot...completely well written and relatable...BRAVO Sage...your rhyming ability is more than impressive!

[Sage]

I agree. It is hard to see one leave us, whether it is for the good or not. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks!

[Ellen Kolman]

my pleasure

[emmajoy]

People are supposed to change a little as they mature, but then, what does that mean? Some personalities rush into being what they think they should be, but characters should, by rates and dint of birth remain more or less the same.. with a few delicate changes that age should, can, surely bring.

Your poem really does grow, takes the reader through a time of change from the point of love and admiration to sadness and disappointment. Tis harrd to accept that, but.. sadly, happens too much these days, people standing on other's shoulders, fighting for a place in our distorted society.

Well put, fine phrasing, touches of meter, otherwise prose that 'feels right'.

[Sage]

That was wonderful Emma, thank you for sharing those detailed thoughts. What you told is the truth that many find hard to accept or consider as bitter!

[zunie frost]

This is the most fantastic poem i ever read ! Rhynes are just awsome with perfect flow of word
great poew full rating from me ! Love this

[Sage]

Thank you Zunie!

[Leran Vakem]

What a thought provoking piece. I enjoyed reading it and it made me think back to my youth and compared to who I am today. Thank you for the journey

L.V.

[Sage]

You're welcome. And thank you for those appreciative words.

[pb]

I can relate to this..
You know? it's kind of sad how people change in a moment. Last night happened something to a friend of mine, today he don't know me and make me felt guilty..it's like he forgot our friendship, and now is hating he's feeling..but still trying to make me feel guilty.
I never ask people to change because of me, I always want they to feel comfortable with theirself, but day by day they change by themself. It's really hard to see how people change so fast..Once upon a time they meant the world for u, and now they're nothing..

Thanks for bringin' it here!

-pb

[Sage]

I understand it very well. These days, people change themselves faster then hey change clothes and it is quite sad to see people lost themselves and shun others.

[TheWordWanderer]

A heartfelt piece of poetry. I would imagine it can be incredibly painful to slowly watch the memory of a loved one fade into brief an flickering images. Although I suppose that when we die, it is what lives on through the memories of our loved ones that counts. perhaps it is that legacy that is truly immortal.

As constructive criticism (although I know next to nothing about poetry) I would say that you do not always have to find words to rhyme in your poetry. Some of the most powerful poetry I have ever read had not one single rhyming couplet. I think that if you try too hard to make your lines rhyme, it can come off as awkward and artificial. An example of this would be "fade" and "fate" because they don't really rhyme at all. Although in this instance it seems as though you waned them to rhyme. Just let the words flow and see what happens.
Good read
The Word Wanderer

[Sage]

Thank you. I did not intend to have them rhyme at that point because I just wanted to wrote a line about fate. But then no matter what I tried, I was disrupting the rhyme. I decided to use the line you read as it was the next best possible match. I did take your critique in a good sense. Let me thank you, that is indeed a good piece of advice. I'll try following that experimenting in the next few poems.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Heh. all too familiar questions there. I've asked myself that a few times. asked others too.
lost people dear to me. in both ways possible. one they died. second, they became something i didn't know, and they jus grew apart from me, 'n everyone else.
well written.
full rating.

[Sage]

Thank you Dan.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

my pleasure :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe people fade away if gone if we don't keep them alive with words or song. I liked the good old quote was. "When a Poet loved you. You will live forever."
"You’re slowly starting to fade,
And maybe that’s how it works; fate
But no matter how distant or far
I’ll never forget who you are"
We can hear the good people missed in our voice and actions. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Sage]

There is no doubt about the fact that 'When a writer loves you, you'll be immortal'. That's the best part about writing, you remember people when the sands of time tries to cover everything in dust.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right. Dante's Beatrice and Hemingway's war love. Part of the core of writing.

[TheMalady]

A person gradually loses himself as he walks along the path of Life. The beginning seemed promising, of bright dreams and wishes, however one succumbs to Fate, now losing sight of the purpose.

great poem! I loved it. :)

[Sage]

Thank you! And yes, people usually succumb to temptations and lures of life and that changes everything.

[TheMalady]

Totally agree with you. Thanks a lot for sharing this poem. It's wonderful. :)

[Aswin R Prasad]

Yeah.. I really can relate to this and i've lost so many too...
People do change and they totally forget who they were.. You become close to a person because you love who they are for what they are.. but if someone forgets who they really are..then,it really hurts!

And I enjoyed reading this one till the end..Like always,it's got a good ring to it ;) Great use of words :)

My favorite stanza:
"In the beginning you were a mere nobody
As time progressed you grew quite mighty
Always the difficult path you chose,
Whatever the crisis, above it you rose.."

Keep writing..Thanks for sharing! :)

[Sage]

Well, people might change for a lot of change, but what defines us is what we stand for and how we cope up with stuff!

[Aswin R Prasad]

Yeah! But when you lose someone who've been so close to you and you lose 'em all of a sudden, it's kinda hard to cope with that.. ;)

[Sage]

True that too.

[Aswin R Prasad]

Anyway..Great Write :)

[Sage]

Thank you. :)