Running from the Dark

Running From The Dark

I open my eyes, I see darkness everywhere

Standing all alone, standing on top made no sense

No fear, no joy, I'm just running out of air

Looks like I've stood at the top for too long, bound by a fence

Closed my eyes, looked for respite

Scenes of horror flash like torrents of rain

Thus faded the little light

And I had to re-live all the pain

Couldn't take it anymore, I started to run

Away from the land where there was no sun

I still remember my father say "Son,

You have two choices, you can learn or run."

Tired of all this, wanted to give up on life

On the top, I felt like nothing could go wrong

Alas! Who knew I'd never get rid of this strife

All those screams, would ring in my ear like a gong

It was my dream, to wield a mighty power

No regard for the consequences, went ahead and paid the price

Torn apart from friends, family and my lover

All I was left with were those miserable cries

Couldn't take it anymore, and I could not run

Away from the land where there was no sun

Steeled my heart, for the final downfall had begun

All that was left were my blown head and a bloody gun

Reviews

[Gregory Stires]

your writing is very good. i like how this poem perfectly displays an image of the scene. and how this poem display the struggle u feel and how i can imagine myself in ur place and the feeling this poem exerts are overwhelming. i also like how this poem keeps strong all throughout it and comes out with a good strong ending thats finishes it perfectly that makes this poem feel complete. another thing i like is how smooth this poem is.

[Sage]

Thank you! I appreciate you for taking your time and reading it. I hope you'll like my other works.

[Greg Agee]

A little dark and intense. I think you like this one Lot, I do.
Thanks again, Sir Sage. PEACE

[Sage]

Thank you very much sir. I do indeed like like dark stuff, it gives out intense emotions but writing soulful things are equally hard for the same reason. It needs you to be completely honest with your emotions to bring out the intensity of joy.
Thank you.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

well ...trust me on this one...Don't do it. i did twice, and attempted a third...a knife in the guts first..i was found before...
then pills with vodka...
made a big mess around...but again ..i was found before the fatal moment...the third...wanted to jump in front of a train... for some reason unknown to me...i didn't do it.
jus walked home after the train speeded by.
whatever reason there is for this feeling. trust me. you got one life, one shot.
make it count.
nice poem by the way.

[Sage]

That's some messed up stuff you've been through. I hope you're fine and better now. Thanks for the appreciation.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Eh...my so called life ..that's messed up. honestly...no I'm not fine...It's scars that won't heal. even though the flesh, 'n bones do... Trust me. you don't want to do something similar. I've got two options in life, but only one if i want to live. learn to live with it. or end it. yea. the later is really tempting, when i wake up from a nightmare, to find myself in another one, that i can't wake up from... but... well, I'm still here.

[Sage]

I guess you have a lot of people telling you how the second option is a very bad one and how the first one is good and all such stuff. Let me tell you only this. In case you want to walk the second path, remember that you'll miss out on a lot of things. I might be just some random stranger spouting this 'talk', but you always will have people you can bank upon.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

i know. i knew that before the second attempt.
but when it comes all that way. nothing really matters anymore..jus one. stop the pain.
no need to talk about it any further.
i know all there's to be said on the matter.
jus wanted to drop my opinion here. well, I'm off to read more from you. nice day to you :)

[Sage]

Pleasant day to you too! :)

[Leran Vakem]

The struggle and pain locked in these few words written here, I can almost see the scars they left.
Powerfully written, easily read and the meaning is right in your face. It bears more than anyone can truly know.
Thank you for writing and sharing it.

L.V.

[Sage]

Thanks to you for reading it and finding it interesting.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of words.
"Couldn't take it anymore, and I could not run
Away from the land where there was no sun
Steeled my heart, for the final downfall had begun
All that was left were my blown head and a bloody gun"
The words were powerful and made the reader wish to know more. I liked how you led to the strong ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Sage]

Thank you. I'm happy they writing let you vividly imagine the scene, that's the best compliment I could get.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Rory Simpson]

Great Poem Keep doing what your doing

[Sage]

Thank you!

[Elle Alley]

Wow! Love the darkness of this poem. I JUST LOVE IT!

[Sage]

Haha, glad you do. They'll be more coming!

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Dark, eerie and hauntingly eloquent!
Your words portrayed the struggle and that 'albatross around the neck' situation quite beautifully!
Well done!
Kudos!

[Sage]

Well, I cannot compare to P.B Shelly! But thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

You are welcome.

[Tiffany K Charles]

If this could be a short film............... I would love to watch it...... So profound and very gory......... I effing love it!!!!!!!!!!!!! the relationship with the words and the graphic and Gothic execution........... kudos to you young sir.....

[Sage]

Thank you. ma'am! I appreciate it. I love playing with emotions and words. I'll write even more better stuff in the near future!

[Brad P]

Great imagery. I can see and feel the emotions the way you express them.

[McBear]

First of all, I loved your use of words; it provided a simplistic feel of imagery that got me into the poem more. It also looks like you incorperated the hidden meaning of a flash back in this stanza:

"Closed my eyes, looked for respite
Scenes of horror flash like torrents of rain
Thus faded the little light
And I had to re-live all the pain"

Correct me if I am wrong.

I really enjoyed this especially this stanza:

"Couldn't take it anymore, I started to run
Away from the land where there was no sun
I still remember my father say "Son,
You have two choices, you can learn or run."

Your words just painted the most coherent picture in my mind.

[Sage]

You're right, I used those lines to imply a gruesome past, leading to the future course. I appreciate your words! Thanks :D

[TheMalady]

I really like how you play and rhyme the words. They are really entertaining and adds life to this poem. great imagery - I can vividly imagine and feel the emotions of someone struggling to break free, to run away from whatever that haunts them. Overall, wonderful! keep it up! :)

[Sage]

Thank you! :D The words are natural once you get into someone else's shoes!

[TheMalady]

That is true. You're very welcome! :)