Running from the Dark

Running From The Dark

I open my eyes, I see darkness everywhere

Standing all alone, standing on top made no sense

No fear, no joy, I'm just running out of air

Looks like I've stood at the top for too long, bound by a fence

Closed my eyes, looked for respite

Scenes of horror flash like torrents of rain

Thus faded the little light

And I had to re-live all the pain

Couldn't take it anymore, I started to run

Away from the land where there was no sun

I still remember my father say "Son,

You have two choices, you can learn or run."

Tired of all this, wanted to give up on life

On the top, I felt like nothing could go wrong

Alas! Who knew I'd never get rid of this strife

All those screams, would ring in my ear like a gong

It was my dream, to wield a mighty power

No regard for the consequences, went ahead and paid the price

Torn apart from friends, family and my lover

All I was left with were those miserable cries

Couldn't take it anymore, and I could not run

Away from the land where there was no sun

Steeled my heart, for the final downfall had begun

All that was left were my blown head and a bloody gun

Reviews

[Gregory Stires]

your writing is very good. i like how this poem perfectly displays an image of the scene. and how this poem display the struggle u feel and how i can imagine myself in ur place and the feeling this poem exerts are overwhelming. i also like how this poem keeps strong all throughout it and comes out with a good strong ending thats finishes it perfectly that makes this poem feel complete. another thing i like is how smooth this poem is.

[Sage]

Thank you! I appreciate you for taking your time and reading it. I hope you'll like my other works.

[BThomvanWart]

I find I understand the feelings of this piece; being overwhelmed and unable to control the out come of something important. But, the details need to be strengthened. I believe it lacks enough details to make me want to know what happened. It's not that you need to say directly what happened, but I find it's best to at least hint at what happened. Just mention a few things about something indirectly and let the reader either discover or look deeper into the piece to understand what's up. The writing, I would say, is almost like textural-eye candy. It paints a beautifully, heartbreaking scene of grief and pain. But, it doesn't have a motive, if that makes sense. Keep writing!

[Lola Nad]

It's not hard to dive in the story you write. I'm pretty sure even someone who never felt this way can understand the feelings you describe. Great poem

[Ellen Kolman]

Wow sage! amazing poem....I love how it also tells a story...you know I have to tell you it blows my mind how your command of the english language is so good that you are able to write poetry like this at this level, I cannot even imagine what your talent must be like in your native tongue...BRAVO a thousand times dear friend

[Emily]

The way you started it was just awesome!
Keep it up!!

[Sarah King]

the poem totally filled me with emotion, but I like this the best"And I had to re-live all the pain". I am totally a fan of your poems.

[Sage]

Thanks again! Check all my works and please let me know how you feel about them!

[Rafy T.Nym]

First of all, this poem contains a great imagery. The best imagery is the title itself 'Running from the dark'. No wonder, when someone feels utter pain, his own life becomes his worst enemy. ' Away from the land where there was no sun'- I personally prefer this line,but I think the sun will soon rise, all we have to do is 'fight against the dark' and 'wait'.

Great work!Best wishes.

[Mary Helda]

I can feel your heart in this poem..the rhyming scheme is so effortless..and the imagery just keeps you glued to the piece.. Wonderful

[Sage]

Thank you :) Glad you liked it!

[Riddhi]

Its really a lovely poem ....I especially liked variation in your rhyming scheme the way you changed it in last stanza made this poem even more interesting and yes i must appreciate you for your nice and intelligent use of words...Keep it up and thanks for sharing...

[Sage]

Thank you Riddhi. I'm glad you liked this!

[Willard Wells]

Very strong imagery of a person in great despair that has come to the end of their rope. Maybe it's the moon, but I have been on a similar dark theme the last few days. Anyway, a great piece. Thanks for sharing.

[Sage]

Ah, thank you. Indeed, it might be easy for some people to feel along similar lines, but I'm happy to know you did understand the poem for what it is.