Paradise Ep 41

Paradise Ep. 41 (I Know Who I Love)

Nick: *When I got back to the house I started looking around for any instruments/sheet music, then I found a private studio. Wow! This is huge! Everything I need is right here! I began with the music 1st then the lyrics & everything just came together. My writing song ability is back! And on this song, I'm going to give my all!*

Kris: *At last I woke up from my wonderful slumber, & wiped the sleepiness from my face. I glanced around, no Nick. He must be up already. I quickly went to the bathroom, got dressed & by that time I could see it was 1 PM. I immediately ran downstairs searching for Nick, no sign anywhere. I began to panic, I hope he's al right. I covered all over the house, then when I heard music from the recording studio. At first I stood outside the door, listening to Nick. God ... his voice alone is absolutely beautiful. I turned the door knob quietly & saw him playing at the piano singing his heart out. I closed the door silently & leaned against the wall, just listening to him. He hadn't heard me, & the more he continued the more I hear the heartfelt message in the song bouncing every corner of this room. I was entranced by him, the music was so inspiring & it made my heart feel warm. I smiled bigger than ever watching him play on. He is such an angel in every way. He's a joy to watch, to touch, to kiss, to everything. It is with open arms that I love him*

Nick: *Ends my song for Joe. I hope he'll like it. Blushes at the thought of giving the song to him & telling him how I feel. I smiled though too, cause my heart is filled without so much love, I feel so wonderful. Suddenly something snapped me out of my dreamy thoughts, causing me to turn around from the piano. Kris had been watching me, the expression on his face was filled with tears, but then he was smiling big. This won't be easy, but I have to tell Kris how I feel. I thought at 1st that I loved Kris, I said it to him & allowed him to kiss me ... I just don't feel the same with Kris, I thought I did, but I know now I like him & want him as a friend. I only wish I haven't let him say & do all those things to me, seeing how he loves me. I don't want to hurt him, but I'm afraid I have to be honest. Well here I go ...* Hi Kris, good afternoon. 

Kris: *Wipes tears & walks closer to Nick* Hey baby, Goof afternoon indeed. *looks at the sheet music* This new song ... its awesome! You are so adorable. *leans in to kiss his forehead*

Nick: *Gets up off the seat & moves away from Kris* T-thanks. It just came to me, I knew I had to piece it all together. Listen ... um I need to talk to you.

Kris: *Hurt* Sure, what about? 

Nick: *Exhales* This morning ... I came to an important realization, & I thought about it more & more, & now I'm convinced what I feel is real. 

Kris: *Nods happily* Really? Oh Nick! *tries to embrace him into a hug*

Nick: *Moves away from him again* I-it's not about you Kris. *sighs & folds arms, hugging myself* I finally know who I love the most, & I'm sorry its not you. I thought you were the 1, but my feelings for you aren't what I thought they were. I like you Kris as a friend, my best friend. You've been great & I know how much you care for me, & I'm sorry, but I love someone else. *takes a breath* I love Joe, my brother.

Kris: *Shocked as can be. I can't believe what I just heard* Calmly: Y-you love Joe??

Nick: *Nods* Yes. He's my #1 & I want to tell him as soon as I see him. I know this is pretty strange ... I just can't help what I feel.

Kris: *Shakes head* I can't believe this. How can you love Joe? He's YOUR brother Nick! Do you realize that?! Don't you know that, that's called incest & its completely wrong! 

Nick: *Shivers from his tone, but speaks from my heart* I do & I know. My memories of the past ... have returned, however my memories of being here in Fiji are still unclear to me. I understand how this must feel & how it isn't natural ... all I know is that I love Joe with everything I have. 

Kris: *Not taking this well* HOW?! You don't even know him! You say you remember the past, but what about the future? This is so wrong Nick, I can't believe what I'm hearing! You know what, you don't know what I feel. I thought you were starting to give me a chance, & I thought when you said you "loved me too," that you were just saying that cause I said it 1st to you. Now I know you didn't mean it! I'm disappointed Nick, I really am. This is not natural at all! Your confused, please take back what you just said. Please tell me that the song you just sang is for me ... NOT HIM. Tell me you're just kidding & I'm the 1 you love the most. *tries to touch Nick's hand* Please Nick ...

Nick: *Moves away once again/shakes head. He's really upset. This is a side I haven't seen of him. And I'm not too sure that I like it. I know its tough to take, but he doesn't have to yell & be so defensive* Your wrong Kris. I know him better than anyone. I trust my heart, & I believe Joe feels the same way. I'm truly sorry Kris, really sorry. I wish I could stop myself from saying those words to you. I know your hurt right now, & its my fault, but this is what my heart is feeling & I just want to be honest with you. Please try to understand & be my friend. 

Kris: *Shakes head* I have to go Nick. *I walked out the room fast & went straight to my room & locked the door. I laid on my bed for hours just in silence. I thought I heard Nick knock at the door, but I was so in my thoughts I'm not really sure if it was him. Time went by slowly as the sun began to set, & then it became dark. I finally got up & turned on the light. The clock read 7:30 PM. It was then that ... I finally realized what I needed to do. I unlocked my door & went downstairs to find Nick eating quietly by himself. I felt bad for leaving him earlier, but I just needed to be alone & think things out. I joined him at the table & noticed he had a plate with food set out for me. I smiled & sat down & looked at Nick, who looked sad*

Kris: *Sighs heavily/closes eyes. Sheese not even with his memories fully back, he still chooses HIM. Laughs* Quietly: I wish I didn't pressure you so much. *looks at Nick* I'm sorry Nick, its my fault more than yours. I love you Nick ... so if that's how you feel *exhales sharply* than I guess than you should tell Joe. *Never in my life, did I think I'd be saying these words. But what can I do? I've tried my absolute hardest to make Nick mine, & everything I've done is push him farther towards Joe. As much as I hate to admit it ... I've lost. I can't ever have Nick. I see that now. I just can't believe it took ME this long to realize this. I've been a selfish insensitive egotistical over obsessive jerk to Nick. I don't deserve to be his friend. I don't even deserve to know him, he's the kindest, gentlest person I've ever known, & I'm been SO wrong this whole entire time. Dear God, how could I be so blind? This 17 year old is a million times wiser, caring, compassionate, & far more understanding than I. I'm an idiot & completely terrible person for what I did. I'm forever sorry for everything I've done, I wish I could take it all back. I have sinned really bad & I want nothing more than to make everything from here on right. I will not be a sinner! I'm going to make up for what I've done. So I started by repeating all these thoughts I just said in my head, out loud to Nick (unedited)*

Nick: *Tears filling & smiling* T-thank you Kris. I'm so happy you feel that way. *sniffles* You don't have to be so hard on yourself though. 

Kris: *Shakes head* No ... actually I do Nick. Everything I just said is true & unfortunately thats just the partial truth. Listen ... I've been thinking, I know you have only 1 more day here with me, but I honestly don't think you shouldn't have to wait to see Joe. I have no right to keep you away from him anymore. Tomorrow as soon as you wake up, we'll going over your brother's island & your going back to him. 

Nick: *Happy as can be* R-really Kris? You mean that?

Kris: *Nods* Yes I do. 1st thing in the morning we'll go. I know now this is the way it had to be, & I'm going come clean on everything that happened here. I haven't been honest with you Nick or Joe, & thats why I really wanted to meet with him & explain myself for my terrible actions.

Nick: *Confused* I don't understand Kris? What have you done? You've been nice, this whole time ... well except for the yelling part. *laughs*

Kris: *Feels really bad* I know, I'll explain everything to both of you tomorrow I promise. This is something I really have to do. Please Nick, I'm not. Your the one who's nice & been the best person in my life. And I'm forever sorry for yelling at you, like I did. I hate myself for it, I just took everything out on you, & it was really horrible of me. I'm so sorry Nick for everything. 

~ With that said, both of them finished talking/eating & said goodnight to each other & went to bed in their separate rooms ~