Seconds Minutes Hours

Its like holding my breath
as my lungs collapse
Ill love you
till my
death
rattle

And my heart
ceases to beat
and slowly fades
into the abyss
of he left me

Days pass
like eternity
in an hour

By Samantha Campbell

Author's Note

inspired by Steve

Reviews

[Eddie Phillips]

That some serious passion and love. I love the feeling of this poem.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

much thanks for all your reviews

[Damien Thibodeaux]

"I'll love you till my death rattle", is an awesome line. I wish I had written that. I am so jealous I never thought of "death rattle", but I love those words together. I didn't get the word "of", in "into the abyss 'of' he left me". "Of" just doesn't sound right there. Maybe I'm just not getting that part. I would either substitute "where" for "of", or just take the word out altogether. Examples: "into the abyss where he left me", or, "into the abyss he left me". Does that make sense?

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime minutes and hours become precious. I like the flow of thoughts and the very good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Barbara Walker]

"into the abyss of he left me" awesome line!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I'll love you
til my
death
rattle

Love this section, and the idea itself. Such a sorrowful idea, and yet so beautiful at the same time. The last three lines were fantastic as well. You've managed to create something amazingly beautiful within just a few short lines. I envy this ability you have. Well done.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

Much Thanks

[Ency Bearis]

I like the brevity - remarkable - nice one.

[Breathetheair]

Gracious. Love it. I love the format to as it is precisely made for this piece. Fantastic.

[icelandicblue]

Like a goblet of hemlock.

[LadySoDivine]

Wonderful poem. I like how in most of your poems you use only a few words but you still hit it right on the topic and bring out your point and message very clearly. Good job! :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Days pass
like eternity
in an hour

how very true.